The Devil's Dictionary For Equestrians - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 36 Old 03-29-2013, 12:06 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Valley of the Sun
Posts: 3,003
• Horses: 3
Schoolmaster -equine trained to dump even the most experienced rider on a daily basis
Direct reining -pulling on the rein as hard as you can until horse turns in right direction
Sliding stop -when horse walks 20 or more steps after being told "whoa"
Jigging -dance horses participate in to celebrate going home

So in lies the madness, the pursuit of the impossible in the face of the complete assurance that you will fail, and yet still you chase.
flytobecat is offline  
post #22 of 36 Old 03-29-2013, 02:36 AM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 335
• Horses: 1
Dressage prospect: prances sideways when asked to move forward.
All-around horse: has had an English and western saddle on at some point in the past decade.
Knows tricks: rears whenever you go near him.
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post #23 of 36 Old 03-29-2013, 03:28 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 926
• Horses: 0
I'm (almost) peeing in my pants laughing so hard (DH just punched me in the arm, as I'm DOING this laughing while in bed, reading on my phone, with him also in bed, and he gets up in four hours for work...hee hee) guys rock at this! :0)
HorseCrazyTeen likes this.

"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"
Back2Horseback is offline  
post #24 of 36 Old 03-29-2013, 03:46 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Hour and a Half from Town!
Posts: 6,386
• Horses: 2
Ha ha ha!!! These are hilarious!

Cute- well it looks like a horse... kinda.

Boots- strapy Velcro contraptions of doom that you must put on your spooky horse quietly, which is impossible. They will need to be replaced every week, usually can only find one, the other is 50 miles away, floating down the Mississippi.

Pick- a tiny metal hook of death intended for hoof cleaning that is intent on taking out your guts when you leap over fences while feeding. Not to be confused with the action or used near your rear or nasal region.

Spook- equine flash pilates.
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post #25 of 36 Old 03-29-2013, 10:57 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: south of nowhere, north of nothing
Posts: 4,685
• Horses: 0
Colt what your mare gives you anytime you want a filly
Filly-what your mare gives you anytime you want a colt
Gate-wooden or metal contraptions built for your horses amusement
Gallop-customary gait horse chooses when returning to the barn
Longeing- A training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose of making the owner spin in circles-rendering the owner dizzy and light-headed so that they get sick and pass out, so the horse can go back to grazing.
Saddle- An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security. Comes in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats.
Withers - The reason you'll seldom see a man riding bareback.
Yearling - the age at which all horses completely forget the things you taught them previously.

*Insert something witty*
Roperchick is offline  
post #26 of 36 Old 03-29-2013, 03:33 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 448
• Horses: 0
Prospect- We couldn't make him do it so we are selling him and you give it a try...
A little spooky- He calms down about a mile down the road once you are in the dirt.
Collection- What happens when the bank comes after you for all the bills you didn't pay so you could pay the vet/farrier/trainer etc.
LynnF is offline  
post #27 of 36 Old 03-30-2013, 06:25 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 926
• Horses: 0
^Love "collection"! Haaaa!

"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"
Back2Horseback is offline  
post #28 of 36 Old 03-30-2013, 07:49 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: South East Texas
Posts: 7,206
• Horses: 2
"anyone can ride" - 2 or 3 year old stud horse, (maybe even a long one year old if you're really lucky) most likely mixed somehow with a freisian or andalusian since they 'go great with everything', wearing a way too big saddle and twisted wire snaffle. Will suddenly become 'green broke for advanced riders' as soon as its actually strong enough to put up a fight or realizes it has balls.

Everyone in your life is meant to
be in your journey, but not all of
them are meant to stay till the end.
Endiku is offline  
post #29 of 36 Old 03-31-2013, 02:53 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 27
• Horses: 0
I love this!
Great mover - just try and stop him!
flytobecat and HorseCrazyTeen like this.
HarpersMom is offline  
post #30 of 36 Old 03-31-2013, 03:03 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,477
• Horses: 0
Will once you ride her a bit more - a little bit can be any time between now and doomsday.
Has a lot of go - has no understanding of the word 'woah'
Cute little pony, perfect for kids - a adorable looking demon spawn.
Trainer - someone who has a good excuse to yell all sorts of colorful words at student and horse while getting paid for it.
Or, someone who gets paid for sending you to the hospital.
Stichy likes this.

I may seem small, but if you mess with my horse, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place.

Last edited by horsecrazygirl; 03-31-2013 at 03:07 AM.
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