Do you ever feel stuck? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 7 Old 11-07-2013, 01:06 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
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Do you ever feel stuck?

Sometimes I feel stuck. In general I feel stuck with life right now, and a little bit with horses. I just got back into riding, lemme guess. 6 months ago? I take a lesson a week, they're 70 bucks. So doing two a week would be hard for me. I just wish I could some how learn a lot more horses. My ground work could use more work, I can be a nervous and especially disciplining other peoples horses I feel very awkward about. When I was in high school I was at the barn everyday. I traveled an hour on the bus to do chores to pay for my lease. I MISS being at the barn all day.

I'm so thankful that this Sunday, I get to go to the barn early help tack up some horses for a lesson and actually help with the lesson. That's something.

It really doesn't help that I live in the City. Not a lot to choose from considering I have to bus everywhere.
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post #2 of 7 Old 11-07-2013, 01:36 AM
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Yes, I know the feeling. I have my horse to do with as I please, so I don't feel too stuck. However, after having the past four years off from lessons and showing because of college I wanted to get back into doing something else with my horse besides just riding for fun. I tried working with a couple of horses in my barn, only to decide that neither were sound enough for real work. I then convinced my old trainer (who hasn't been involved in horses for a couple of years) to give me lessons, but I'll just say that the quality of the lessons were not what they used to be and were no longer worth the time or money. I tried to get a friend of mine to help me work with my horse's loading issues, but she proved to be less than reliable. We finally got the occasion to bring our horses to ride with a lady down the road, but my horse was such a butt getting into the trailer that now she would probably never offer to take us anywhere again, and I don't have access to another trailer for training. The prospect of me acquiring my own trailer proved to be a bust. I tried to find a dressage trainer that would be willing to come to my barn for lessons, but it's pretty slim pickings around here. The one guy that seemed somewhat willing has issues traveling so far, but said that he would get back to me when time freed up. He hasn't.

I do enjoy just playing around on my horse more than anything, and I don't think I'll ever lose this love. I just feel as though I'm stuck in a rut that I'll never get out of until I either get the money to buy my own trailer (at least a couple of years), or move barns. The barn options are pretty limited, and i'm not guaranteed transportation to any activity or trainer anyway. It sucks, but I'm thankful to have the horsey opportunities that I do have at the moment, and I'll try to never forget that.

Now on to your sticky issues- have you tried looking for a therapeutic riding center in you area? At the first barn where I boarded there was one that did lesson twice a week, and they were always looking for volunteers for their program! The volunteers assisted with grooming/tacking the horses, handling the horses and riders during lessons, and untacking/cooling the horse afterwards. This would be a no-cost option for you to really focus on handling a variety of horses in different situations, both on the ground and during lessons. You'd also be doing a wonderful service for the kids and adults in the program, and whoever is running the program would be very grateful!

Perhaps you could also work out an arrangement with your trainer so that you could have one lesson every other week, and two lessons every other week. An average of 1.5 lessons per week. If you are a committed rider that regularly attends and pays for lessons then the instructor may be willing to work something out. If not, then maybe you should consider putting money aside each month for a partial lease of a horse. I don't know if it's financially possible (especially since you should still take a weekly lesson), but if you try to cut costs elsewhere you may be surprise what you come up with when you put your mind to things This would give you a LOT more freedom to do what you want and do things other than just arena lessons, such as hacking in the pasture with barn buddies :)
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post #3 of 7 Old 11-07-2013, 01:53 AM Thread Starter
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I feel your financial burden. That's my problem right now, I moved out of province 3 years ago, moved back to BC 2 years ago. I lived off my creditcard. I owe about 2,500. I make about 640 on average bi-weekly. I pay 400 to one, then 40 to another. And then bills come in, and then something crops up. Like for example, my breeches. I'm plus size, I just had to order breeches. I own one bra right now. lol I'll be screwed when that one eventually breaks.

My idea for right now is just using ALL of my cheque to pay my bill off. Just leaving me only enough for lesson money. Thankfully, my coach pays me 5 dollars to tack up and 5 dollars to help with the lesson. I know it's only ten dollars but it makes a difference.

I do live at home, but I have bills and I buy my own food.

I really want my debt paid off. I really want to lease, it's really hard to work on yourself only once a week. The therapeutic center is an hour away by car. I really am screwed by where I live lol

I'm also really nervous, my coach only does weekends. She is with a stables, and the other coach is a big show jumper. She's a big name here. I would be nervous lol. But I've learned lately to just go for it.

For instance I know my ground skills suck. My lesson horse scares me, but then again I know some amazing riders who are scared of her and won't tack her up. I've mostly gotten use to her, but she's a toughie to deal with on ground sometimes.

I just hate feeling stuck, I know once my debt is paid off it'll be a bit easier. But even doing a "lease" day once a week is too much extra added money.

Can I just add that I also need a job that pays more? lol Or made me full time. I only work 31 hrs a week, but I only get wednesdays and sundays off. But I feel like I'm fulltime, I work really hard at my job. It just gets tiring. I feel like I work all the time, I get off at 9:15 at night. I don't get to see my friends as often.

Thanks for listening to me!!

I even considered going to Olds, ahorse school in another Province. But I just can't justify paying so much money for that.
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post #4 of 7 Old 11-07-2013, 07:29 PM
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I have felt stuck at times. Like when I was ranching at one place and the guy hired to do hay quit. Then all my time went to that and the young horses barely got worked.

Or when I was in college and could only afford an old mare for my kids and that by working yet another job. I did more grooming and coaching in those days.

Or when I had to groom to get polo horses to play and ended up only getting two hours of practice a week for both riding and playing.

Or when I hired out to do day work for ranches in college and always had to ride some long neglected 4H project or barrel horse to get horse time.

I have definitely felt stuck before.
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post #5 of 7 Old 11-07-2013, 10:17 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
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I think you're starting to get to the point where you realise that your decisions, what ever they may be, have a real effect on your life. You went off and lived off your credit card and you are literally paying for that now.

In around three months you should be just about paid off so I wouldn't be too hasty in doing anything until then.

However you get to a point where you do have to start making decisions based on your wants or priorities in life. Like I ride, I own a horse (two actually but selling one) and I'm on an income probably a bit lower than yours, and I live out of home, so I have rent, food, bills, car plus horse costs. I'm far from wealthy but I get by due to the decisions I've made to have this lifestyle.

Like I couldn't live in the city and ride. With extra rent, costs and then huge horse costs it just would not be possible for me, so I moved out of the city. I live somewhere with lower rents, and much lower horse costs. I keep my horses places where there are less facilities and self care because they are a lot cheaper. I don't think I'd regularly pay $70 for lessons though, the instructor would have to be pretty good and at your stage I'd probably be looking for more horse time.

I often feel stuck. With life and horses it often like you're not moving forward and you even lose sight of what it is you're moving towards. Everyone feels that way sometimes.

My advice to you (if you want it) is to work out some goals. If you want to eventually own a horse, or get serious about riding, maybe you want to go back to school and learn something or get a job or get involved in an industry. If you want to move out of home, or move somewhere else or travel. I know you said you need money but money is a means to an end, not an end itself. Work out what you want - really what you want. Not just "ride more" or "get more money", but serious, concrete and likely attainable goals. Really think them over and work out what they'll mean for your life. Then look at your life and see what you can do now and where you can go from here.
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post #6 of 7 Old 11-08-2013, 01:11 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you Saskia, wise words.

Well I live in Vancouver, BC. I ride in a rich area, hence why I pay 70. But it's a twenty minute bus ride, easy for me. Anywhere else I'd have to take atleast 2 buses and a skytrain(like a subway train) and pay more in bus fare. Sometimes I ride before I go to work, so this is the easiest for me. Yes it would be cheaper somewhere else.

It probably doesn't help that some days I feel stuck at my job. I've often thought about moving somewhere else. But I can't do it. The uncertainty of finding a job is too much, thats what happened when I moved back to BC and had to live off my card is because I couldn't find a job right away. And also, I don't have my license, and I've lived before in a small town relying on someone else when I needed a ride. I don't like relying on others it's really not my thing.

I am going to work on my goals. I really need to pay off this card to set me "free" so to speak. I just really need stuff to stop popping up. For instance, my temporary filling for my root canal it's been almost a year. I've already had an infection but I just cant bring myself to pay 700 dollars to finish it off.

Sometimes I just feel so stuck in life it actually depresses me. But I try and think what I want to do and go to school for but I don't know. I do know that I can't do my job forever, and if my store gets robbed again I know it'll really screw me up.

Thanks for listening. Really. I feel as if internet people get it more lol but then you have have a lot more to say as well.
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post #7 of 7 Old 11-08-2013, 03:32 AM
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Argh dental. I get the whole not-wanting-to-pay-put-it-off-for-years thing.

It will be better in a few months, when your debts are gone. Keep riding but don't increase, save, or buy what you need and use the extra to get your license (driving is the best thing ever). A car gives you so much more autonomy.

I know life can get you down, but it doesn't stay that way for long. You can always come on here to talk to us! And hopefully we'll say nice things :-D
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