Don't know what to do - where should I stay? - The Horse Forum
  • 1 Post By TerraBella
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  • 1 Post By Tryst
  • 1 Post By Iseul
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post #1 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 05:48 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Estonia
Posts: 515
• Horses: 2
Don't know what to do - where should I stay?

Sorry if this will be long Even if one person helps and gives an opinion, it would be much appreciated! Based on these descriptions, what stable would you think I should stay at?

1. Beautiful stable with sport horses. The horses I'd ride are young and hot tempered. I like the challenge, as I'm used to riding calm horsies mainly. If I'd stay there, I'd get more experience working with young horses. But this also terrifies me a bit, knowing how they can throw you around.. I'd also learn clicker-training and lots of horsemanship skills. The people there are professionals, I'd have much to learn from them and they seem to be friendly & helpful too. There is a trainer there 24/7 so I can always ask for help. I can also spend the night at the stable sometimes (that means I can be away from the city for longer periods, that's amazing!). The bus goes there often too. And it has an outside sand-ring/arena (dunno how you call it, sorry :), that's a plus. Other than the horses being young and hot, I can see they are social and handled well. Only downside is that the time that I went there, I didn't see anyone who I could become good friends with (read: the girls seemed stuck-up)..But I haven't seen everyone there yet. Also, I would be taking part in competitions a lot (I think I like this, though I'm not sure as I've only done a couple before).

2. Private home-stable. I have been there on-and-off for 3 years. The horses are draft-sport crosses, so they're a pretty calm bunch. I can ride a 6y.o cross who is in need of someone who rides him (otherwise he will be sold). This means he just sits in the pasture as the owner doesn't have time for him. I have ridden him before and he's a sweetie, just a lovely gelding. He isn't the best conformation-wise, nor a high-level horse but then again - I'm not a very high level rider. I think his owner might be playing on my guilt a little, as I really love him and don't want him to be sold, so she thinks I'll stay and ride him (this plan might work actually..). I could also help school and ride a young 3y.o cross (possible dressage prospect in the future). Also, my most dear mare Starry is at this stable. She is my soulmate when it comes to horses. It's just that she's pregnant right now and there's not much I can do with her. But if I stayed there, I'd still be able to be around her, etc.
Downside: the bus doesn't go there often (I don't have a car). I get along well with most of the people there, one of my good friends goes there too. Only I have some misunderstandings with the owner lately. She acts like I'm not there/doesn't include me in the work/acts cold towards me. And I'm really emotional, so I see this really hurts me. We used to get along really well before though. So I feel like I've already lost the stable somehow..

I know if I'd choose the second stable, I'd be thinking I chickened out on the first stable because of the hot horses (and because I am familiar with the people in stable 2 & I already feel comfortable there). And maybe I would lose a good chance?..Because I want to improve. I want to get better and learn as much as possible. I don't want to just rust away until Starry foals so I can start working with her again.. I want to improve myself and I do feel like the first stable would be a good place for that. I'm just scared.

Then again, I know if I would choose the first stable, I'd be beating myself up about letting the second stable go... and of course the sweet gelding would be sold. And I would feel reallllly sad leaving everyone behind
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post #2 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 09:42 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 36
• Horses: 1
To me, it sounds like you want to go to the first stable, but are afraid of change. In the end, you need to do what is best for your riding/horse goals and that sounds like the first if you want to advance and show or want more of a challenge.

Can you try the first stable for a month and see how it goes? Or maybe go to that stable a few days a week, but stop by the second stable one day a week to ride that gelding and see the mare?
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post #3 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 10:46 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Neither here nor there
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What are your goals? Do you want to compete? Do you want to advance your riding skills where at times you may feel uncomfortable with The challenges set forth? You said you are very emotional- do you feel you can handle critiques and criticism, perhaps quite often, on your riding/horse handling skills/etc., because at a high end competition stable there could be quite a bit of that (that is how you will improve). Or do you prefer to just stay relaxed and just enjoy the horses you know? There is no right or wrong answers truly... Some people are really driven and like that pressure and stress that goes with performing/competing/be constantly challenged to improve that barn one will offer, for other people they just want something casual and relaxing when they spend time with horses, as it is their stress release and down time, in which case two might be the better fit. IMO you really need to think about what YOUR goals are for the next year with horses - the atmosphere that you will find more enjoyable and matches up with what you want out of your time spent with horses. Ignore what other people will think - it is your life, time, money and energy... So go with what YOU want!
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post #4 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 11:17 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Neither here nor there
Posts: 1,048
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And as always communication is important with any barn you are at!! If the only reason you don't want to stay at your present barn is the BO being cold toward you... TALK TO HER!! Tell her how you are feeling. Find out if you did something wrong, or maybe she is going through something in her personal life that you don't know about and may have nothing to do with you! Do you know what caused her to change her attitude towards you? If you do, can it be reconciled so that you guys are on good terms again? If you don't, the only way to move forward is to talk and find out what is going on.

I am not a very emotional person (very rational instead) and have said/done things that hurt people's feelings without even being aware I did them until they talk to me about it... Truly I can be totally clueless because these things may not even have crossed my mind as being hurtful, but once someone talks to me about how I made them feel I try to be more aware. So talk to your BO and see if you can get back on good terms.
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post #5 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 01:47 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Western Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,808
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Personally, I'd choose the first stable. I enjoy challenges, enjoy showing, and enjoy the "stressful" environment. While horses are my stress-relief, I don't really view a lot of the stressful stuff that comes with competition as stress, they're just obstacles that I enjoy figuring out how to cross. Though, every now and again I enjoy a nice relaxing trail ride (which I believe all competition horses should be able to do as well).

If possible, I'd try out stable one and try to stay at stable two once or twice a week as well. I ride almost daily, so two barns wouldn't phase me much, time-wise.
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post #6 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Estonia
Posts: 515
• Horses: 2
I will be going to the first stable tomorrow for three days (will stay the night there). You could say I'll get a taste of what I'm getting myself into, so I hope everything works out..

The BO being cold is not the only reason. There just seems to be something important missing when I go to the second stable. Something so important, but I can't put my finger on it.. Yes, I probably should just go and talk to her. Will see what/if that makes a difference.

Thanks Tryst, TerraBella and Iseul :) I still haven't decided, but I'll try to. I probably give the decision too much weight, like it will change my life. So being an active overthinker, I'll probably ponder over this for a long while more. I just hope I make the right decision..

(Iseul, yeah, I was thinking about not cutting the second stable out completely - visiting once a week or likewise. But I'm not completely sure if I'm the 'tackle challenges' person or the 'relaxed trail rider'. I'm quite inbetween. But, I don't like to just whistle around with no goals - I like to become better. Trail rides are fun, but I love to do good, learn and excel at everything presented. So.. maybe I'm even leaning towards the challenge person o:)
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post #7 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 02:49 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: East Central Illinois
Posts: 7,135
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You will find it more satisfying to stay with the experts at the first show stable, instead of muddling around at the 2nd. You said yourself that your favorite mare isn't available to ride right now, so THAT cannot be fun for you. Nobody good in the horse world ever suffered from being around top knotch trainers. They are probably retraining poor skills that you didn't know that you had acquired. Working with hot horses makes you adept in working with pretty much ANY horse. After a year of this first stable, I think you would find that you sailed past the 2nd one and will no longer be interested in it. BE BRAVE!!! You don't need a couterie of friends at a stable. The HORSES become your friends and acquaintances. Leave your real friends outside of the stable and use the Internet and Facebook to communicate if you don't see them often enough.
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Hope that you fall in love with "Trot", like I did!
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post #8 of 8 Old 03-16-2014, 04:16 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Estonia
Posts: 515
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Wow, that's strong and motivational Corporal. Might be truth to your words
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