Dumbest Horse For Sale Ads - Page 347 - The Horse Forum
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post #3461 of 7202 Old 05-11-2012, 12:36 AM
Showing
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino Valley, AZ
Posts: 16,205
• Horses: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arksly View Post
Ahahaha! You know, I have yet to get the up-to-date manual which describes the importance of text talk.
Ah, yes. That would be found in Appendix D, page vii, paragraph 4 of the most current edition of the "Bad Seller's Handbook."

Wherever possible, unseemly amounts of text speak should be employed, thereby confusing and exasperating your potential quarry...er...buyers, forcing them to contact you for clarification of you ad.

http://i42.tinypic.com/140y8lj.png
Do not tell me I can't...because I will show you that I can.
DraftyAiresMum is offline  
post #3462 of 7202 Old 05-11-2012, 12:56 AM
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Posts: 2,363
• Horses: 2
BAHAHA,,
QUARTER HORSE
TUXEDO PARK FOULED 1996 REGISTERED QUARTER HORSE WITH WINS IN JUMPING#1 IN 2009 ALSO SHOWED AND WON IN JYMCANA THIS IS NOT A KICK THE TIRES HORSE HE IS A VERY BROKE HORSE GREAT FOR ANY AGED RIDER AND EXPERIENCE RIDER.
SAD TO SEE HIM LEAVE MY KIDS LOST INTEREST IN RIDING. BEAUTIFUL HORSE GREAT LINES. $4000.00 CALL BRENDA

Fouled? Jymcana?
Wallaby likes this.

ďGood things come to those who waitÖ greater things come to those who get off their *** and do anything to make it happen.Ē - Unknown
caseymyhorserocks is offline  
post #3463 of 7202 Old 05-11-2012, 12:59 AM
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Location: USA
Posts: 2,363
• Horses: 2
Firecracker!! (Pony)

Firecracker!! (Pony)

Peppie is a very loving firecracker, i have had him for around three years now and not one has there been a dull moment he is full of energy and will try his luck at times if you let him get away with it ! hes not a begginer horse he needs lots of love and if you give it to him he will give in return! I started jumping him summer 2010 so hes jumping around 4ft as of now! And he loves it. He would be a great horse for games! Very Fast! I can email pics!! Great manners but like i said will test you! Peppie is a great character and will bring somone lots of joy! I have been riding for 13 years. I have been riding him with an english saddle english style as i moved here form london 2007. He also rides western!i Just dont have the time he deserves because of college For more info call me on 707 972 9952 or 707 459 6179 ask for shannon! Good homes only please :) asking 3000 OBO Thank you
Location: willits

Love how they describe him as a firecracker.

ďGood things come to those who waitÖ greater things come to those who get off their *** and do anything to make it happen.Ē - Unknown
caseymyhorserocks is offline  
post #3464 of 7202 Old 05-11-2012, 11:51 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino Valley, AZ
Posts: 16,205
• Horses: 1
I think my eight-year-old has better grammar and sentence forming skills than whoever posted this ad.

Wonderful Girl Horse Only 3 years old

http://i42.tinypic.com/140y8lj.png
Do not tell me I can't...because I will show you that I can.
DraftyAiresMum is offline  
post #3465 of 7202 Old 05-12-2012, 07:48 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Copley, OH
Posts: 4,760
• Horses: 1
"girl horse"??? Lol I can't believe some people are allowed to own horses...
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Hoofprints in the Sand is offline  
post #3466 of 7202 Old 05-12-2012, 12:20 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 150
• Horses: 2
Horse

Horse - $50


Bay mare about 19yrs old. About 14 or 14.1HH. Not broke to lead or ride. Has been a brood mare only. Will make a pasture ornament.
I will load her on your trailer or I can deliver for some fuel money. She raised a colt last year. Wasn't bred back. Sold colt off about a month ago. so she is still thin.

Will consider all trades. Won't hold without payment. Don't have any pics. Come and look in person with cash and bring trailer.




I think it's sad that after breeding the crap out of the mare and not training her in any way, she is then sold off for $50. It also concerns me that they say she is "thin" because of the last colt. I don't know much about breeding horses...but it seems to me that if taken care of properly that they would maintain a good weight. Am I wrong?
lilbit11011 is offline  
post #3467 of 7202 Old 05-12-2012, 02:02 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 97
• Horses: 2
If Horses Sold Themselves

$1000 Best. Horse. Ever.

Konichiwa compadres. Are you looking for the most kick-asshorse that ever lived? If so, look no further. You found him. Iím a15-year-old professional packer with experience at bad-*** barns in the United States of AMERICA. Thatís right! I graduated from Penn National racetrack, and moved to NYCat the tender age of five. After deciding that New York was a raginístink hole, I moved back to Pennsylvania to cultivate more professionalexperience on the A circuit. Why? So I can pack your *ss around the show ringand not have to post crap like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I lost my job in the recession and I have no cluewhere to live. Honestly, Iíve got three weeks of board left, so I donít give a rats behind if I have to sleep in your round pen.
A bit about me: Iím respectful, quiet, clean and I wonít touch any of your crap. If you leave a bucket of oats outside mystall at night, Iím just like, ďSweet Jesus, I better not mess withthis crap, because itís not mine.Ē
Iím never lame. I donít eat much. Iím alwaysready to work. Heck. Iíll even do ALL THE WORK for you. Thatís right! My dad is an international champion and taught me everything there is to know about show jumping. Iíll memorize the course, make ridiculously tight turns, and jump at least six inches higher than the jump. Iíll makeyou look like a superstar. EVERY. SINGLE. CLASS.
Donít want to run at jumps? Thatís FANTASTIC! Iíll canter on the slowest 12í stride you ever imagined and find the distances for you. Imagine all the ribbons youíll win!
Do you like trail rides? I LOVE TRAIL RIDES. I can ride the crap out of trails. Water, ditches, gates. Whatever. You want to go there. Itís my lifeís mission to take you. Or we donít have to go ona trail ride ever. Itís completely UP TO YOU!
A lot of people ask me, ďHey, youíre a Thoroughbred. Aren't you crazy?Ē And, the answer to that question is, no. Iím not crazy. Iím not even judgmental. I LOVE PEOPLE. I want to help human beings for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion, sexual preference, or personal hygiene. Pretty cool right?
I own almost nothing! Last I checked, I had a halter and leadrope with my name on it. I have one pair of shoes. You can HAVE THEM. See?! Iím the most considerate horse youíve ever met. Iím offering to give you things already!
Am I interested in your barn? You bet my nomadic *** I am! I only require a bit of grass, four fences, water and a tree to shelter me from the elements. Anything beyond that will be considered a bonus.
Iím taking being a show horse to the next level. Email me! Iíll hook you up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of PonyClub trophies and a list of the top 10 things Iíd like to eat before I die. If you want a next-generation horse that consistently blows your mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. Iíll give you the ride of your life.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever. Ghandi
ginofalltrades is offline  
post #3468 of 7202 Old 05-12-2012, 02:10 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino Valley, AZ
Posts: 16,205
• Horses: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by ginofalltrades View Post
If Horses Sold Themselves

$1000 Best. Horse. Ever.

Konichiwa compadres. Are you looking for the most kick-asshorse that ever lived? If so, look no further. You found him. Iím a15-year-old professional packer with experience at bad-*** barns in the United States of AMERICA. Thatís right! I graduated from Penn National racetrack, and moved to NYCat the tender age of five. After deciding that New York was a raginístink hole, I moved back to Pennsylvania to cultivate more professionalexperience on the A circuit. Why? So I can pack your *ss around the show ringand not have to post crap like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I lost my job in the recession and I have no cluewhere to live. Honestly, Iíve got three weeks of board left, so I donít give a rats behind if I have to sleep in your round pen.
A bit about me: Iím respectful, quiet, clean and I wonít touch any of your crap. If you leave a bucket of oats outside mystall at night, Iím just like, ďSweet Jesus, I better not mess withthis crap, because itís not mine.Ē
Iím never lame. I donít eat much. Iím alwaysready to work. Heck. Iíll even do ALL THE WORK for you. Thatís right! My dad is an international champion and taught me everything there is to know about show jumping. Iíll memorize the course, make ridiculously tight turns, and jump at least six inches higher than the jump. Iíll makeyou look like a superstar. EVERY. SINGLE. CLASS.
Donít want to run at jumps? Thatís FANTASTIC! Iíll canter on the slowest 12í stride you ever imagined and find the distances for you. Imagine all the ribbons youíll win!
Do you like trail rides? I LOVE TRAIL RIDES. I can ride the crap out of trails. Water, ditches, gates. Whatever. You want to go there. Itís my lifeís mission to take you. Or we donít have to go ona trail ride ever. Itís completely UP TO YOU!
A lot of people ask me, ďHey, youíre a Thoroughbred. Aren't you crazy?Ē And, the answer to that question is, no. Iím not crazy. Iím not even judgmental. I LOVE PEOPLE. I want to help human beings for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion, sexual preference, or personal hygiene. Pretty cool right?
I own almost nothing! Last I checked, I had a halter and leadrope with my name on it. I have one pair of shoes. You can HAVE THEM. See?! Iím the most considerate horse youíve ever met. Iím offering to give you things already!
Am I interested in your barn? You bet my nomadic *** I am! I only require a bit of grass, four fences, water and a tree to shelter me from the elements. Anything beyond that will be considered a bonus.
Iím taking being a show horse to the next level. Email me! Iíll hook you up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of PonyClub trophies and a list of the top 10 things Iíd like to eat before I die. If you want a next-generation horse that consistently blows your mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. Iíll give you the ride of your life.
Okay, this is one of the best ads I've read in a long time!
Misty'sGirl likes this.

http://i42.tinypic.com/140y8lj.png
Do not tell me I can't...because I will show you that I can.
DraftyAiresMum is offline  
post #3469 of 7202 Old 05-12-2012, 02:19 PM
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Location: Far From Sanity
Posts: 2,292
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Haha...that one is hilarious!
^^

Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?-Edgar Allen Poe
Piaffe is offline  
post #3470 of 7202 Old 05-12-2012, 02:51 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 52
• Horses: 1
Friesian Horses For Sale

Yeah, thats TOTALLY a mare...

Hint( look at the first picture)
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gypsyvanner is offline  
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