Ever feel tied down? What did you do? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 07:19 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: USDF Region 1, USEA Area 2, USEF Zone 3 - Maryland
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Ever feel tied down? What did you do?

So, I've been thinking recently... I'm getting older. I've also been thinking, my horses have me really tied down and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm 20, live with my parents on 5 acres and I have 3 horses that we keep on our property. I've had horses for the past 6 years - I love them and that's not about to change.

But, as I get older I see my friends moving out, getting apartments, moving to exciting places just for life experience, mostly. A few friends have asked me if I wanted to get an apartment with them and I would LOVE to, but I can't. There are 3 horses right outside that depend on me atleast twice a day to take care of them; feed, water, hay, blankets, exercise, etc, etc.

It's not a huge deal now - I'll continue to live at home to take care of my gang. But, looking down the road - what happens when I meet that someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with? If we wanted to live together - I can't unless it's close to my current house or I waste tons of time everyday driving to my parents' 2x a day to feed Beau, Daisy & Cav.

There's no way I could afford to board 3 horses (at most places, at least... maybe field board). So, what's a good option besides sale? Free lease?

Sorry for rambling... this isn't even a pressing issue. I've just been thinking about the future alot and how I want to "grow up" and live on my own within the next couple of years.

So, how did you get through this point in your life with horses?

Mom to 3 bays: Beau, Daisy & Cavalina
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post #2 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 07:37 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Georgia
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Boarding for three will probably be expensive. I think leasing them out would be a good idea. You could take them back if you wanted and visit them when you have time, and they would continue to be ridden and given good one-on-one time with some lucky leasee.
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post #3 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 08:02 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Imlay City, MI
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This is probably the biggest point in which people fall out of horses when it become a life decision to have them or have a "life." To me, my animals are my life. When I got out of my parents house I knew I was looking for property to rent that would allow horses and ended up finding a decent enough deal to be able to afford it. But to most people all the animals do is hold them back. While most of my friends are having their life experiences partying, traveling, etc. my life experiences come from being on a horse and out on the trail because that's what I love. I can manage to leave the horses for 3-4 days at a time by throwing them enough hay and water, but the winter really holds ya back. It's all I guess an option you'll have to make in terms of what's most important to you. To me it was my animals and now me and my girlfriend have a nice little house, 4 horses, 2 dogs, and a couple cats. No kids though for a while.
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post #4 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 08:06 PM
Green Broke
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I've been lucky enough to find someone who is very supportive of me having horses in my life. Finding a place of our own in which I can have horses was as much a priority to him as me. I've never felt tied down to my horses and when I didn't have one I would seriously see one in a field and start crying. I couldn't imagine my life without my horses.

100% Anti-Slaughter and PROUD of it!
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post #5 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 08:18 PM
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A lease would definitely be a good option.

I know how you feel, coming to college just made me worry like crazy because I decided to go out of state and for a while bringing my horse wasn't an option. I eventually got him up here, thanks to my wonderful mother who has been helping me out (my dad wanted to sell him out from under me, fat chance since he's legally mine). Of course the day I moved into the dorms last year Willie, 1100 miles away, colicked. Hooray.

Now I'm moving across the country for a working student position. Again my mom will be helping me move him, however he's going on the market as soon as he gets there. It's sad, but at the same time the job I have will allow me to ride and work with horses daily. Since I hope to make it my career I don't see myself horseless for too long. I might start to work with CANTER mid-Atlantic and take in a young horse or two from them to train while they're looking for someone to adopt.

If there's a will, there's a way. I think the key is (when it comes to finding that special someone) finding someone who is completely supportive of you and is willing to find a way to make it work.

"Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn."
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post #6 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 10:37 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
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Among other reasons, this contributed to me getting out of horses in my teens. I wanted to travel, stay over at friends houses, go on holidays, go out at night. I didn't want to have to deal with a horse twice a day. So I did sell my horse, and I moved out and I got a place, and I moved around a lot.

Although I have never been "that type" of person. The type that goes out a lot or whatever. In my mind I'd love to spend a few years traveling the world, moving from place to place. In reality though, I wouldn't. I don't make friends easily, I hate living out of a bag and I wouldn't like to work the amount needed to support that lifestyle.

I've got a horse now. I live in a share house with friends. I still go places. If I want to travel in the future, which I do, I'll either sell or lease my horse. Right now though - its not a problem. Its not happening now so I am not going to worry about it. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year anything could happen. I could decide I don't want to study, I could transfer uni, I could meet someone I love, I could fall pregnant etc. These things would all drastically change my situation, and would effect my horse ownership. But they are not happening.

I don't know how people have to time to keep 3 horses in full work, but kudos to you. Decide what you want with life, do you want to live in an apartment or stay at home?

I'm 20 too, and, well I am happy with the direction my life is going. I'm studying what I want to study, I have a horse, I live in a nice town. This didn't all just "happen" though, I crafted my life around what I wanted. Sit down and actually write down what you want and your priorities, number them or whatever, but work out exactly what you want and how much. Then decide on the next action required to take you there.
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post #7 of 14 Old 11-18-2010, 10:47 PM
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Location: oregon
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Originally Posted by mliponoga View Post
... To me, my animals are my life. .... While most of my friends are having their life experiences partying, traveling, etc. my life experiences come from being on a horse and out on the trail because that's what I love. ....
This is how I feel. - My friends are traveling to exotic places, and doing their own "fun things." I can't afford to travel, etc. because all of my $$ goes to my horse, but I'm still doing what *I* Love, by owning a horse.

Doesn't exactly answer your question. Just saying.
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post #8 of 14 Old 11-20-2010, 11:51 AM
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I am in your exact situation. ;)
I dunno about you, but I wouldn't give up my horses for any thing or anyone. Nothing comes before my loves. If I'm still living at home for the next 10 years, so be it. I don't mind being stuck to my loves.

And if you have to give up your love for some guy, you're with the wrong guy. Period. He would need to understand that you and your horses are a package deal. If he doesn't love your horses as much as you do, he can forget it. At least that's the way I would feel.

As much as I would love to travel, I can't do it unless I find a way to either take my horses with me or find someone trustworthy enough to take care of them while I'm away. I'll find a way to make it work... lol I'm sure you'll figure something out as well.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
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post #9 of 14 Old 11-21-2010, 09:45 PM Thread Starter
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Jessabel, that's how I feel - I'm not going to give them up... but it's what to do with them when I can't have them with me. Like, when I'm first getting on my feet... I most likely won't be able to afford board on 2 or 3 and if I'm living somewhere that's not close to my parents' house, then I don't know what I'd do. Lease, I suppose, is the best option.

My guy will know horses are part of the deal with me!

Mom to 3 bays: Beau, Daisy & Cavalina
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post #10 of 14 Old 11-28-2010, 12:24 AM
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New River, Az
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When I lived "at home" we didn't have horse property, so I was already boarding. I stayed home through college, and when I graduated and felt ready to buy my own house, I made sure it was on horse property. I don't know what to tell you, though. But you might be able to find an inexpensive place (like someone's house vs boarding barn) close to where you choose to live where you can do self care pasture board affordably?
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