Father has gotten me into financial mess with horse - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 07:15 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Australia
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Father has gotten me into financial mess with horse

Well ive saved up 1200$-1,500 for vet bills but i need insurance. At the moment father is paying agistment and said he would pay for horse insurance but now he is saying other wise and saying how i said I WOULD PAY FOR INSURANCE I hate him so much he owns a Gym in a very rich expensive suburb in the Melbourne City, and you would think he makes so much because i am his only child he has a decent ammount of clients and his gym has been around for 60 years, i know he can afford it but he just is a cheap skate lier i found out.

See i counted on his word but i felt he was going to bail out on me, still i thought a father keeps their word.

Now im thinking i have to sell my horse because, in my opinion its irresponsible of me to not be able to pay for vet insurance, because i cant afford massive vet bills.

My father didn't even tell me it was my responsibilty to pay for vet bills, so because this week he said it was his horse to, i thought ok. So his paying for vet bills than and so insurance can wait a bit.

So because he is teling me to pay for vet insurance now, it makes me unable to save up fast and quickly for vet bills .

This is so embarassing not sure what really to do. I had this feeling some thing wasnt right, and now i know it was my father. He is using really mean reverse psychology, and trying to make me say i would pay for vet insurance but the reason i bought a horse was knowing he said he would pay because i worked out the costs.

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think,
The wise reject what they think, not what they see.
-Huang Po
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post #2 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 07:31 AM
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Parents are not required to fund their childrens' luxury items. Doesn't matter how much money he does or doesn't have, and you sound very spoiled and disrespectful.

Most people don't have insurance on their horses and have to pay vet bills as they come up. Welcome to horse ownership. If you can't keep a horse without relying on someone elses money, then yes, maybe you need to sell the animal and wait until you can afford it on your own.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 08:05 AM
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The Dad in me (two kids out of the house, one in high school) would tear you a new butthole. Then I would sell the horse...

I can't imagine anyone who has tried being a parent feeling any sympathy.
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Last edited by bsms; 05-26-2013 at 08:08 AM.
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post #4 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 08:30 AM
Green Broke
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Sorry you'll find no sympathy here either. Guess what, he's paying the bills it's his horse. He likely is trying to teach you to grow up. How old are you? Perhaps you can work for him some to pay for the insurance.
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post #5 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 08:45 AM
Green Broke
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My mother has told me many times she would pay for something and not kept her word for more than a month or so. While I may complain about it, I know it's not her responsibility. I used every penny I had to lease my last horse when she decided she wasn't paying for it anymore (she took on the payment when my dad passed since he was the one that said he'd pay for it as my next three birthdays). I had asked her if she would do that for my birthday presents like he had planned and she told me yes. She decided to stop after a year. I did odd jobs around town with family/friends and made my hundred a month to lease. I now have the ability to save for the horse that I now own, that she did not help me buy.

She recently told me that she'd pay for Alahna's feed so that I could buy her other things that she's likely needing soon. Even that $36/month will help and I appreciate it. I don't expect her to pay my $180 board every month and the fact that I've taken on all the financial responsibilities, she's helping me out by her own accord without me asking because I'm assuming that's what her whole plan was. She made me solely responsible for the horse, and now that I've accepted that she has no need to spend money on MY hobby, she's willing to help me out even though I can manage it myself.

I've never even THOUGHT about getting insurance on any horse, even an $8500 stud colt that I was intending to buy. Our vet allows payments to her regular customers (what most vets around here do) even if it's only $100. With payments being available for large, unplanned vet bills, I see absolutely no need to pay for insurance on my horse. Even a $20k horse does not need insurance, IMO, because if you insure that animal to it's worth, you'll be spending more than the horse is worth within a few years just on the monthly payment. Not worth it, at all, in my opinion.

But..you do sound like I did a few years ago when I liked to think it was my mum's responsiblility to pay for my hobby. I then realized that my brother's football hobby was nowhere near as expensive as my horse hobby. I do believe that she should've spent an equal amount and not dumped everything she had into my younger brother, but that's her decision. She could've said no to everything for both of us. I've seen people with those types of parents as bums living under a bridge, and I've seen some very successful people in the business world.
My point is..it's not your dad's responsibility to pay for insurance (or anything) on your horse. It's yours (unless the horse really is your father's that he's letting you use). I pay for the maintanence on my truck even though it's still in my mother's name. I drive/use it, I pay for it-simple as that.

If it's in your possession, YOU pay the bills.

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post #6 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:06 AM
Green Broke
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yeh if you were my daughter that horse would already be on craigslist. You really are coming across as a spoiled brat. Why not thank him for what he is doing instead of crying about wanting more.
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post #7 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:26 AM
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I am not coming from the parent perspective. I am a daughter and I own a horse. My father is the exact same as yours, makes oodles of money but won't share the wealth with anyone. I don't expect him to pay for MY horse. He bought him for me because I worked with the horse for four years to get him healthy and sound again, and I still thank him all the time for it. Although I did work my backside off for the horse, I don't ever expect anyone to pay for anything for him, I like the fact that he is MINE and I alone am responsible for him. My horse is not insured, and he has more health problems that you could even imagine. Look on some of my other threads to see what I'm dealing with and you'll realize that you are spoiled. Your dad has helped you out enough, you don't NEED insurance. If you think you need it, sell your horse, simple as that.
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Last edited by Lockwood; 05-28-2013 at 04:54 PM.
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post #8 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:26 AM
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You hate him & think he's a cheap liar. Why would you want anything from someone you hate?
Yep, if you were my kid you would be horseless AND cleaning the barn.
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post #9 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 10:04 AM
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I'm not a parent, but I agree with the others.

If you were my child, the horse would be gone.

It's not your parents responsibilities to care for your animal... not unless you're like, under ten years old or something... The horse is yours, so it's time for you to hoist your pants up and take on that responsibility, not whine about it because it's not going the way you expected it to.

Horseshoe Loop Farm: Home of Gypsie (22 y/o TWH mare), Dakota (10 y/o TWH gelding), Codie (18 y/o Walkaloosa gelding) & Harlow (9 y/o APHA mare)
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post #10 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 10:21 AM
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Parents have a lot of financial responsibilities, something they don't share with their offspring. That's just the way it is. You have no idea of where his money goes. The gym may look prosperous but in reality it may not and he is struggling to maintain a certain lifestyle of his family. Financial situations change all the time. Perhaps at the time of offer, he felt he could do it but it the financial picture changes, he has to withdraw. That doesn't make him a liar. It makes you appear to be an inconsiderate selfish brat.

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