Father has gotten me into financial mess with horse - Page 5 - The Horse Forum
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post #41 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:34 PM
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if ur father said its his horse..then its his bills, not the minor
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post #42 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:37 PM
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any parents who know that a kid cant affored a horse and expects them to pay all cost the parent is irresponsible not the kid, op's dad said he would help pay, and then backed out..this is his responsibility of a father to sit down with their child and see what can be done
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post #43 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:37 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gigem88 View Post
Cool off and then sit down with your dad and talk, no pointing fingers or blaming. Try negotiating with him without being defensive. Maybe (if you already don't) helping out at your dad's gym could sweeten the deal?

I see parents shell out big bucks for their kids to play football, soccer, cheerleading, etc. go to tournaments and camps, whatever it takes for that kid to play sports. They don't owe the kids to play sports or cheer, yet they do it. But, when it comes to a horse, they expect the kid to pay for everything!
I used to clean his gym mirrors for money, he promised horse riding lessons, but he said i had to clean all the mirrors and that took 5 hours sometimes after schoo,l i had no time to do homework so i had to stop. He also didn't take me for a lesson one time so that really let me down after cleaning for 5 hours i was so mad !

A gym client even got worried and asked how much im getting payed ect

cant believe some of u ppl calling me spoilt.

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think,
The wise reject what they think, not what they see.
-Huang Po
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post #44 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:39 PM Thread Starter
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i cried all last night woundering how i would take care of the horse, i couldn't even go to school today because i had terrible sleep from nightmares.

I will have to get some sort of weekend job, but ive always wanted to get a job with horses so ill try and get one.

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think,
The wise reject what they think, not what they see.
-Huang Po
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post #45 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:40 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by TBforever View Post
if ur father said its his horse..then its his bills, not the minor
I know he said it in person right near me and my grandma, i told him he said that and he denied it !

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think,
The wise reject what they think, not what they see.
-Huang Po
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post #46 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:42 PM
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i think ur father is being an stupid, he is acting like the child
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Last edited by TaMMa89; 05-28-2013 at 11:49 AM.
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post #47 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:43 PM
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alot of rich people dont like sharing money, rich and get richer while poor get poorer
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post #48 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Misty'sGirl View Post
This forum is predominantly American and Canadian, so OP was probably trying to word it so that people who were not familiar with Australia knew that it was a big city rather than a small town.

For example, I live in Tasmania and hardly anyone outside Australia has heard of it, let alone any of the suburbs, so I would've probably worded it in a way that sounded weird for an Australian. Doesn't mean I'm a troll

As for the OP, I'm actually feeling bad for her. No, I don't agree AT ALL with how she handled it, but the fact is she's only a kid and was heartbroken... Her father promised something, then pulled out on it. Doesn't mean she should've behaved like this, but some of the abuse you've all given her was pretty harsh.

Perhaps pointing out in a MATURE and sensible manner how she was behaving would've been better? She's a kid and most of us are adults, so there's no reason to behave like a kid and abuse her. Just my two cents.

(For the record, I don't agree with how she reacted, but most of you reacted in just as bad a manner.)
You are not serious, are you? Do you think the rest of the world is uneducated? You might be surprised to know that the majority of us have heard of Tasmania and even know where to find it on a map.

Lizzie
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post #49 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:46 PM Thread Starter
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ok im going to be responsible and pay for the insurance myself and get myself a job to pay for spare money for vet bills.

regarding that i have been called spoilt:
I dont demand anything my father offered* to help me pay for the horse he promised to pay for vet insurance and agistment (he pinky promised me and i even asked for a contract but he said no need) ... The more i am arround my father the more i realise how much of a bull talker he is.

I dont waste any of my money on music or fancy clothes, or buying lunch at the canteen any more i do allot of things to save money.
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The foolish reject what they see, not what they think,
The wise reject what they think, not what they see.
-Huang Po

Last edited by Lockwood; 05-28-2013 at 05:04 PM.
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post #50 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by maura View Post
Olivia,

I'm going to take a slightly different approach to your question.

I think all the other posters have correctly chided you for feeling your father owes you something and your entitlement mentality; so I won't play "pile on the rabbit."

I also think that in commenting on that, many posters have missed that you are trying to be a responsible horse owner and make sure your horse is provided for, for which I commend you.

So correct me if I'm wrong, the situation is you thought your father would help with either insurance or vet bills, and he's backed out? And you have some money saved for emergency vet bills, but not the amount you'd be comfortable with?

I would say that if your horse's value is under $10,000., you need either the emergency fund or the insurance, not necessarily both. Here's why - basic mortality insurance on the horse requires that you pay for surgery, most commonly colic surgery, before they'll pay on a mortality claim. So if you have a $5K horse, the insurance company my require you to pay for an $8K surgery before they'll pay the $5K for the horse. The options are pay for major medical insurance on top of the mortality, which is quite expensive, or to not insure but to build up an emergency fund.

If the very worst happens, and your horse colics and you have to make a decision whether or not to send the horse for surgery, you will have to deal with that then. If you do not have the money to pay for colic surgery, or decide not to for other reasons, that does not make you a bad or irresponsible owner. Not all colics are good surgery candidates, and it doesn't make sense to treat some colic cases that way. Same thing with major lameness that impact long term soundness; you'll make that decision based on the circumstances, you don't automatically send every case to surgery.

You have enough money saved to pay the vet bills for a non-surgical colic, or for a minor or moderate lameness or a wound. That's a good start, and better than many horse owners.

What makes a bad or irresponsible owner is not being able to provide BASIC veterinary care, or allowing the horse to suffer because they don't have money for the vet. Unless I've missed something, that is not your situation.

I would focus your energy on continuing to build your emergency fund, and continuing to build your horsemanship. Insurance is terrific to have, but there are other options - it doesn't make sense for some horses and some situations. If you have a nice pleasure/Pony Club/local show horse as opposed to a serious show horse with a competition it may NOT be the best route.

The best way to deal with your father backing out of his promise is to be smart, independent and self sufficient. I don't think your situation warrants you selling your horse; just continue building your emergency fund as best you can.
Thank you for such a well written post, i am very worried about being a responsible horse owner, i will keep saving for vet bills. Ive decided i will get a job on weekends or free lease horse out.

The foolish reject what they see, not what they think,
The wise reject what they think, not what they see.
-Huang Po
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