Father has gotten me into financial mess with horse - Page 7 - The Horse Forum
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post #61 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 10:48 PM
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A horse can be an albatross around your neck when you have no means to care for it, not exactly a little girl's dream.
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post #62 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 10:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TBforever View Post
can be easily done...father gets child horse, to shut them up, doesnt feel the need to pay anything else
^THIS! One of my friends' parents divorced, father refused to pay child support. She had to get a job, as did her sister, mother had two still went without food some days. Father randomly appears, spends $2000 sending them to prom.

Personally, my father asked me once if I wanted a horse or a car. I carefully considered the cost of gas, and the enjoyment a car would cause vs horse. Told him horse. He talks it out with someone at the barn about buying a 40 y.o horse. talk him out of it, into a 8 yo, has a very animated conversation with the owner, settle on a price.Same barn, so there wouldn't even be a stall change. me and him decide how to spilt costs and how much I have to work on it.

I had to go back the next day and tell her that he had backed out. I wasn't feeling too generous to him, but once he explained why (I'm going to college in 2 years, even if it's only 2 hrs away...) I understood. Still wish he didn't lead me on, but I understood.

Point is, you have to ask him why. If he's like my dad, he could have just forgotten- working is very stressful, even (especially) if it is well- off.
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post #63 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 10:50 PM
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i dont know how to take that cos im from aus aswel LOL
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post #64 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:05 PM
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i was in the foster care system, and its not an easy enviroment to be in, and it is very easy to be caught up in the...i wish i had a horse like my friend does..or i wish i had someone to love me like my friends parents love them,

it is very easy to be caught up in that...other people call that being spoilt when its not, its simply wanting what you dont have...EVERYONE does it adults even do it

i was given my basic needs, i wasnt able to have wants as they wernt a must need item,

heck when i turned 18 and was out of foster care, DOCS wouldnt even get me a tv, because it wasnt a must need item, they got me everything else but a tv LOL

they got me a stereo for my bday, LOL

everyday at school id think that persons so lucky she gets this and that, my whole focus was on what other people had and what i didnt have.

now as an adult and i am well aware of cost of living...how blessed was i that i had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, clothes on my back, i was blessed to have my basic needs met.

what olivia is feeling is totally normal for a teen to think this

and id say there is more to her story of why she feels this way..lack of love lack of nurturing, she may have basic needs mets but missing her emotional needs, if she gets this from her horse i feel she needs to be suported rather then accused of being a spoilt brat..unless you have been in foster care and know how the system works, no one has a right to judge her

and alot of it probably cos ppl here wished they had the opurtunity as a kid to have a horse
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post #65 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bsms View Post
Sorry, but I lost 100% of my sympathy at this:

"I hate him so much he owns a Gym in a very rich expensive suburb in the Melbourne City, and you would think he makes so much because I am his only child he has a decent ammount of clients and his gym has been around for 60 years, I know he can afford it but he just is a cheap skate lier I found out."

Not only did I lose any sympathy I might have had, but I lost any confidence in any 'facts' reported by the OP. I'm 10,000 miles away. I'm a total stranger. It still felt like a slap in the face, just reading it on the Internet.
again, ease up. She's young when you're young it''s easy to say I hate this or that" over silly reasons, it's normal pre-teen and teen behavior. Yes it seems rude and it IS but they generally don't mean it and are being over dramatic because of hormones and trying to figure all of it.

Equestrianism; 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and 100% reason to remember you're absolutely insane to be riding a beast that big.
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post #66 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FeatheredFeet View Post
You are not serious, are you? Do you think the rest of the world is uneducated? You might be surprised to know that the majority of us have heard of Tasmania and even know where to find it on a map.

Lizzie
Sorry, I should'nt have said "hardly anyone". That wasn't thought out. But I work in tourism and it amazes me some of the comments we get from SOME international guests. Like saying "After I've finished here in Tasmania I'm going to Australia!" And they're shocked when we point out that Tasmania IS in Australia My favourite one would be a lovely man who was convinced that Tasmania is in Africa and that the Australian state is actually Tanzania. So I didn't mean it as a generalization, I was typing quickly, but I mean that in my experience living here a large number of people from outside Australia don't realise we exist Sorry for any offence, it wasn't intended that way, it was typed quickly without thought.

Satin Reign aka "Misty"... my life, my love, my everything.
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post #67 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OliviaMyee View Post
i dont even live with my dad, i have been taken away by DHS you dont know me i dont even care what i say online. I have lived with many people, i am lucky that i am alive i know that saying things online doesn't scare me at all.
ok so there was clearly a reason you were taken out of his care, it would seem to me that reason was his lack of responsibility yes? taken that into consideration should you be surprised by this? I may have misunderstood though. I have a few friend who have been through foster care and none of them are in contact or were with their birth parents a few kids I know are but they were adopted right away and all visits are supervised and their mother willingly gave them up knowing she was an unfit mother so I'm a but shocked that you have kept contact with your Dad, no offense it's just not the norm from what I've seen.

Equestrianism; 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain and 100% reason to remember you're absolutely insane to be riding a beast that big.
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post #68 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samstead View Post
ok so there was clearly a reason you were taken out of his care, it would seem to me that reason was his lack of responsibility yes? taken that into consideration should you be surprised by this? I may have misunderstood though. I have a few friend who have been through foster care and none of them are in contact or were with their birth parents a few kids I know are but they were adopted right away and all visits are supervised and their mother willingly gave them up knowing she was an unfit mother so I'm a but shocked that you have kept contact with your Dad, no offense it's just not the norm from what I've seen.
depends on the case plan, and her age, if shes with relatives then its a total different case plan

i was one that had supervised visits and supervised phone calls
and also my mum gave me up on her own will
everywhere my mum went docs escort would follow when i was around her.

it is different for everyone in care,

her being 16, they cant really stop it, ive seen heaps of teen run away fro foster care and docs dont give a darn, also depends on what docs

Last edited by Lockwood; 05-28-2013 at 05:09 PM.
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post #69 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:41 PM
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Wow this thread was quite a read.

I can sympathize, I really can. It's a terrible feeling to be let down by a parents, over and over again. Add in some normal teenage angst and we end up with a thread like this.

OP, you sound like you're doing the best you can to be a responsible pet owner and for that I commend you. It was perhaps not the wisest choice to buy a horse especially if you and your father have a history. I know it's easy to get caught up in the "omg I get a pony!!" thing and how much you want to be able to trust your own father. It sounds like at this point you'd be best served by selling the horse. A 16 year old just can't have the means to support such a hobby without parental support.
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post #70 of 105 Old 05-26-2013, 11:41 PM
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Had a read through and came to this conclusion.
Young lady, if my daughter had writen as you have, and I read it I would take on board the response from the other forum members. Then I would sit down with you and you would be given the opportunity to explain yourself.

You would have to be really good in your explanation. When you had finished I would then explain my obligation to you and that is this.
I have the obligation to feed and house you.
I have the obligation to educate and cloth you.
You have the right to expect to not be abused or misstreated.

The decisions on how much money I spend on your recreation is mine to make and mine alone.

Now for my decision. The horse has gone.
My mind was made up and your sence of entitlement was so strong I doubt if you could have mustered a reasonable argument to support your actions.

And it is a world wide problem. No respect and a sence of entitlement.



I own the spelling mistakes.
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Last edited by Stan; 05-26-2013 at 11:44 PM.
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