Feeling in need of a confidence boost (or maybe a kick!) - The Horse Forum
  • 1 Post By countrylove
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post #1 of 5 Old 04-05-2013, 01:04 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland :P
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Unhappy Feeling in need of a confidence boost (or maybe a kick!)

Not sure where to put this but it is kind of horse related.

Sorry if this is a really long rant...

It was really sunny today, still chilly but still. It made me excited for the summer. I have a lot of mixed emotions lately and feel really down, I'm not going to go into these things but I'm moving house, got issues with college, need to get a new job ect...

Anyway :) I've loaned/leased my horse now for a year and I'm feeling a little better established at the yard. My riding is so much better and I'm used to the horse now...But...I'm one of those people who keeps themselves to themselves, I never really got to know many people - I only really speak to my instructor, the person that does the liveries and the yard manager. :/

I have 3 other people that share the tack room with me, and they all seem really close, I'm just really shy and the most I've ever said to them has been like "Can I borrow some hay?" and stuff like that. So many times I've wanted to ask to ride with them but I stumble over my words...I don't know why but I worry about asking them, I don't think they dislike me, one of them even added me on facebook so they can't dislike me that much lol

Well, here's the thing...there are miles and miles of bridle ways out the back of our yard, loads, and I really want to go hacking out. I didn't get to hack out at all last summer and I really wanted to, and I feel like I should get some confidence up to ask if I can go for a hack with the other people at the yard. I've only ever been out on those bridle ways once, that was in my introduction week where I tried out the horse to see if we were suited ect, the owner took me out on the bridle ways just to try them out :)

I guess what I want is the confidence to just up and ask them if they want to go for a hack out but I feel like I'd be putting them in an awkward situation...like if they don't want to they might feel like they have to say yes...just as a pity hack :/ How do I approach this :/

(You might have noticed I have dreadful confidence issues lol)

Last edited by starfia; 04-05-2013 at 01:08 PM.
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post #2 of 5 Old 04-05-2013, 01:20 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Bend, OR
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Sometimes you just have to do it. I use to be very shy until my college advisor showed me some tough love and pushed me to step out of my comfort zone :) best experience ever that really shaped my confidence in life. Pretty much I was expected to do things such as an introduction speech for famous heritage peach farmer David Mas Masumoto. Sometimes you just have to take that first step and the rest just follows.

If your really nervous, write the one on Facebook and ask if she would be willing to show you around on the trails since you have only been out there once. I bet she says yes

Good luck! Sorry my advise isn't much
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post #3 of 5 Old 04-05-2013, 01:25 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
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Summer is way too precious to waste. Get on it, pronto!
tinyliny is offline  
post #4 of 5 Old 04-05-2013, 01:38 PM
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1 send the FB one a message asking if she wants to hack out

2 leave a note in one of their feed buckets asking the same thing - as if you just thought of it on your way out and are sorry you missed them

3 ask each one individually, not when they are in a group. It's less intimidating that way.

4 do NOT be upset or worried if they don't immediately say yes. There are loads of factors here including their routines, your horse, your riding ability.

5 if you have lessons, ask your instructor to give you a private 'lesson' of one hour hacking out. That way you will get to know one of the bridleways without the pressure of new friends watching you.

6 don't just restrict your question to the people you share the tack room with - if there are other liveries there, ask them all. Adults included - age is no barrier to mixing up a group when hacking out.

Good luck

Get up, get going, seize the day. Enjoy the sunshine, the rain, cloudy days, snowstorms, and thunder. Getting on your horse is always worth the effort.
Shropshirerosie is offline  
post #5 of 5 Old 04-05-2013, 09:03 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Michigan
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I am an extremely shy, under-confident person. But sometimes, I just pretend I'm not shy, and do what I was nervous about doing. Kind of like acting. It works for me!
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