Friendless - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 37 Old 03-20-2019, 07:15 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: california
Posts: 5,769
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Lessons would be a good way to meet people if your parents can afford them. IF you board your horse, and are at the stable, and a few people are saddling, start by saying how pretty their horse is, and ask if they trail ride ? If they say yes, ask if you can tag along . I do not think a lot of people would say no . But if they do, then you do not want them around you any way ! See if there is an Equestrian Trails group near you , or a 4h group or FFA type of group. Good luck. and Remember.. its nice to be important but is more important to be nice.
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post #32 of 37 Old 03-20-2019, 10:15 PM
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uruguay
Posts: 14
• Horses: 1
First, welcome to the forum! I'm pretty new here too, but I try to drop in from time to time.

Second, I totally feel your pain. I was homeschooled for a little while, and my online friends were really the only ones I talked to! When I started attending high school & got a job at a stable, I struggled to make friends because I couldn't afford a horse or lessons. I just worked there because I wanted to be close to horses in any way I could, even if it didn't involve riding.

I knew several girls at my school that were into horses, but they didn't like me much. We came from very different backgrounds. That, and several of them didn't like the fact that my mother was married to another woman.

Really, you have to ask yourself if you really want to be friends with these people. If the answer is yes, you should focus on being friendly. People love compliments, and invitations to talk about themselves & their horses. Ask them about their horse's personality, when they got them, and how long they've been riding. They might ask you questions in return!

Don't be afraid to exchange phone numbers and stuff. Once you've spoken enough, offer to do things with them -- whether it involves taking a ride together or getting ice cream. It sounds typical, but I knew a lot of teenagers that wanted to do those things, but felt that they were awkward or cliche. Your interactions shouldn't be confined to texting and lessons/school! Your best friendships will involve spending time together voluntarily.

Lastly, good luck! I'm 19 now and I bought my own horse in August. If you told 15yo me that she'd own a horse in a few years time, she wouldn't have believed it. Since I got Ladybird, I've made two online friends who also like horses. Keep your head up!
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post #33 of 37 Old 03-22-2019, 12:28 PM
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 80
• Horses: 0

I completely understand having social anxiety. Some days I have it so bad I cannot even walk outside my front door! Making friends can be very challenging, but staying positive and the fact that you still are wanting to make friends is fantastic! Everyone before me has some great suggestions for clubs and activities you can do to make friends, I just wanted to say welcome, and that I too would be your friend!!
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finding happy
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post #34 of 37 Old 03-25-2019, 10:34 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3
• Horses: 0
Thank you everyone for replying!
I am so grateful for all the advice and suggestions and will definitely use them!
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post #35 of 37 Old 03-29-2019, 09:51 PM
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Western Massachusetts
Posts: 6,062
• Horses: 3
Originally Posted by rmissildine View Post
First off, I don't know your age, and it doesn't matter. Being an introvert, as I was when much younger, can be overcome. I still don't have a lot of close friends, but the ones I do have, I can count on.
You also didn't say whether your horse is on your property or boarded. If it's on your property, as others have said, social media may be one way to meet like minded individuals, but, also be careful. If you're boarding, You may have to step outside your comfort zone and introduce yourself to at least one of them. Just look for the one that seems most approachable.

You have gotten a lot of info and suggestions in this thread, keep alert, reach out a little, and be careful.

Horses do bring like minded people together, and age isn't a barrier, and they can help you to meet new friends.
Keep riding, asking questions, and learn how close we all can become.
Best of luck,
I just want to poke my head in and say: being an introvert cannot be overcome, it is a fundamental piece of your personality. What can be overcome is social anxiety, shyness, etc., and behaviors and emotions that are getting in the way of social connection. There's nothing wrong whatsoever in being an introvert.

Short horse lover
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post #36 of 37 Old 03-30-2019, 01:30 AM
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 7,170
• Horses: 3
Introverts are drained by groups of people and social engagements, extroverts are energised by them. It's possible to be part-time at both - that's me - I don't neatly fit into a lot of these categories. Psychological categories aren't quite as black-and-white and immovable as they may appear. It's not necessarily either-or, but often along a continuum. Or, a bit of both at different times!

SueC is time travelling.
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post #37 of 37 Old 03-30-2019, 12:30 PM
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 733
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I am a very introverted person and I generally ride alone and prefer it but sometimes I want to ride with other people. When I do want to ride with other people I usually ride with the rancher who lives north of my place. He is 79 I think this year, so, twice my age or so, I like riding with him because he doesn't talk much. When I ride at work then usually the stock owner is there or one of the ranch hands that works for them etc. so, I am rarely alone there. Advice on making friends in high school, I have none, I had a weird high school situation where I was the only American in the school and everybody else wanted to practice their English so I knew everyone in my school fairly well and was friends with all of them. When I was in the Marine Corps later on I made a few good close friends but that is because we were fighting together in the same platoon and you make very close friends that way but none of them live close by to me now that I am a civilian. Somebody once told me that in order to have good friends you have to be a good friend. So, I would say if you really want friends to ride with then find the people you want to be friends with and make yourself the kind of friend to them that you would like to have. I find in life when you treat others the way you would like to be treated they generally respond in kind.
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