Friendship vent - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
You're correct, it's very much the same here in the U.S.

It bothers me that they break TBs while they're still babies, many as long yearlings.

Maybe if they weren't raced so young, there wouldn't be so many breakdowns. It's a damned, dirty, crying shame what happened to Barbaro and many others like him, but it doesn't surprise me. You just can't put that much strain on babies and not expect something bad to happen.

At the end of racing season, you can go down any shedrow and have your pick of TBs who couldn't cut it as race horses. That's how I got JJ; he stank as a racer!

I can see why your acquaintance doesn't like racing, Eventers. However, since she knows you do like it, y'all should just agree not to discuss the subject any longer.
Thanks for that Speed racer
:)
I understand what your saying Barbaro and Eightbells and Ruffian it was all horrible.
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post #22 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by EventersBabe View Post
O.k.
I mean I just hate naggers.
Whilst it is true that nagging is annoying, it is a two way street. Unless she is having an entirely one sided conversation I don't see how she is able to nag you. Perhaps you are nagging each other with your respective points of view? Maybe it is time to agree that you disagree and not try to convert each other to your personal way of thinking.

All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.
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post #23 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 01:19 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by sarahver View Post
Whilst it is true that nagging is annoying, it is a two way street. Unless she is having an entirely one sided conversation I don't see how she is able to nag you. Perhaps you are nagging each other with your respective points of view? Maybe it is time to agree that you disagree and not try to convert each other to your personal way of thinking.
yeah I agree thank-you.
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post #24 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by sarahver View Post
Whilst it is true that nagging is annoying, it is a two way street. Unless she is having an entirely one sided conversation I don't see how she is able to nag you. Perhaps you are nagging each other with your respective points of view? Maybe it is time to agree that you disagree and not try to convert each other to your personal way of thinking.
Well said, Sarah!
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post #25 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 01:28 PM
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This thread has been fun. Now if I don't start doing my finance assignment I will end up in summer school. Then my father will start nagging me for sure he he.

All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.
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post #26 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 01:51 PM
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People often like to show how much they know about horses by giving advice to others. Some advice is good, most is not helpfull. One thing that dictates that is did you want the advice in the first place. If you don't then nicely tell your friend that you would appreciate it if she would stop giving you advice on riding or horses. Tell her you want to be her friend, but not her student. Be honest, not hostile. If she really is your friend, she will get over it.
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post #27 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 02:02 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by HappyHorses View Post
People often like to show how much they know about horses by giving advice to others. Some advice is good, most is not helpfull. One thing that dictates that is did you want the advice in the first place. If you don't then nicely tell your friend that you would appreciate it if she would stop giving you advice on riding or horses. Tell her you want to be her friend, but not her student. Be honest, not hostile. If she really is your friend, she will get over it.
I ask if I want advice. If i don't want advice I dont need advice. I never asked her to tell me should I watch horse racing. She gives advice wether I ask or not and its really anoying when I don't even ask for advice for something.
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post #28 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 07:52 PM
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My friends give me advice all the time when I don't ask for it, and thank goodness they do. My one friend has been in the horse industry longer than I've been alive, so I tend to listen when she says something. I don't agree with her 100% of the time, but she's also saved my butt several times.

On the other hand, there's a lady at the stable that's supposedly "been around horses all her life" and she barely knows the head from the ***. And there's a girl (another friend of mine) who's maybe fifteen years younger than the stupid lady and she's ten times more knowledgeable. Age is pretty irrelevant. Maybe your friend has some knowledge to share with you. As for the horse racing thing, maybe you should just agree to disagree or stay away from the topic altogether. And if the issue still persists, don't talk to her anymore.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
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post #29 of 32 Old 04-23-2010, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EventersBabe View Post
I ask if I want advice. If i don't want advice I dont need advice. I never asked her to tell me should I watch horse racing. She gives advice wether I ask or not and its really anoying when I don't even ask for advice for something.
She probably just feels passionately about her position and figures if she says it often enough you'll "get it" and she'll have done well by you and her beliefs about horses/horse racing/and breeding.

Nagging is a pain, but for some people (me included ) it's hard to believe that we can't convince someone of our perfectly right point of view , if we just say it enough times till we land on the right way to say it to be understood.

I agree with the agree to disagree folks. Find out if horse racing and breeding are deal breakers for her when it comes to the friendship. If she can live with having a friend into horse racing and breeding her own horse, then promise each other to never bring up the topics again (and that includes you not casually mentioning a great race you saw, or plans to build barn stalls perfect to house a pregnant mare, etc.)

Also, you may want to consider if this friendship is worth keeping for you. If you get more grief than benefit, it may be time to move on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
All horse people are crazy, but some of us are higher functioning than others.
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post #30 of 32 Old 04-26-2010, 08:08 PM
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Are you sure breeding Babee is what's right for her? How's her navicular doing these days?

There comes a point in every rider's life when he wonders if it's all worth it. Then one look at the horse, and he realizes - it is.
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