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Was going to join barrel group...but..

823 views 9 replies 7 participants last post by  Mochachino 
#1 ·
I've been playing around with barrels with my 4 year old. Nothing major just trot and wanted to do it for a couple of reasons. To do something different, to learn, to have fun and to meet new people. There is a local barrel club that I was thinking about joining. I was going to keep working on learning the barrels throughout this fall, winter and spring and then join for next year. But...I've gone to watch a few of the races and there is nothing but negativity, drama, people talking about other people, spreading rumors and nastiness and they are very unwelcoming...No hellos...nothing. It's a shame..I was wondering why there were very few younger people there and then today I was told that 18 people in the last year have joined only to quit. It's hard to believe that grown women can act like they do. I'm pretty disappointed but thinking of starting up a gaming/gymkana group with a friend. Is this what all "horsey" groups are like?
 
#2 ·
There's a trail riding club in my area. My friend joined it and went on a few rides. Another friend and I were planning on joining, but our friend warned us not to waste our money.

She said it was a bunch of middle-aged and older women who got together and gossiped about all the other horse people they knew and were constantly criticizing everyone they saw for how their horses looked. What was sad was that a lot of the women in the group were riding underweight horses with ill-fitting tack. She said that they looked down on your if your saddle didn't have enough bling or if you didn't ride in a certain type of bit. What's really sad is that there is a street in our town named after one of these ladies and apparently she was the worst of the bunch! :shock:

Unfortunately, it's far more common than not to have these types of groups that are simply drama-fests.

That's why I love my barn. My BO has zero tolerance for drama and talking behind people's backs.
 
#3 ·
I've had similar experiences, unfortunately. It's sad to see a little bit of competition get in the way of a common interest.

I was actually very pleasantly surprised at how welcoming my local dressagers are. Everyone is very friendly and supportive at our shows, I've had some very lovely convos in the warm up arena, nothing like pleasure or other things I have been to.

I've never been a fan of drama, try to clear off from it. People will be people though, and no two are the same. Such is life. Gymkana is really fun though, you will have a good time with it.
 
#4 ·
:( I'm sorry that your experience with the local barrels group was so discouraging.

I've had similar issues, too. I worked in a particular area for quite a while, and had a handful of clients and students among the local ETI group. Because I knew people who were involved in the group, I started out by going to their "open" events - playdays and a couple of charity poker rides. Everything was always moderately well organized, though most people VASTLY overrated both their own riding skills and their horse's fitness levels (weekend warrior type riders who would take a horse who'd stood in a small corral for days or weeks and then think they could work them all day long at an event). Many of the horses were underweight, or dangerously obese; most were ridden in tack that either didn't fit or that the rider simply had no idea how to use. The worst part was the catty crap. The group was about 40% male, but they were even worse than the gals when it came to gossip and cliques.

Sometimes it's best to say, "if you want something done, you've got to do it yourself". That group had 18 people join and quit in a short timespan. All 18 of those ladies are potential members of a group you and your friend may start. I'm sure if you are fair and consistent when you lay down your group's rules, regulations, and requirements, that you'll attract some great members and everyone will benefit. :D
 
#5 ·
Something about local brings the drama. I compete in IBRA and NBHA barrels, there's people all over the state. For the most part everyone gets along great, new people come in and are welcomed right away. Everyone cheers everyone else on and as long as your friendly so is everyone else.
Then at the local 4H clubs it's cut throat, back stabbing, someone even tried to poison my friends horse once. It's disappointing.
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#7 ·
Well I guess this little group is just like the rest of them then really. Sad people can't just be nice, get along and be friendly...grown women at that. There are four men in the group and I thought that would really balance everything out a bit, but the women attack them. I'm a little surprised BarrelRacer 23 that the higher up it is, it is better. I would have thought the opposite and that it would be way worse. Anyway, I'm going to work with two of my friends and pursue another club and get it going soon. :D
 
#8 ·
You would be suprised. Some of the nicest people I've met in any discipline has been higher up. Me and my friends had a lot of fun at 4H still, we did it for fun and ignored the drama.
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#9 ·
You are going to find nasty people in any activity around. You just need to check out different clubs or start one of your own.
I've belonged to the same Saddle Club for over 40 years. Mostly good people, some jerks have come and gone. I believe you can find what you want if you look hard enough.:D
 
#10 ·
Yes, the only problem is this is a smaller town and there isn't really anything in our town. For example the barrel club covers the entire north island I live on. The only other clubs are English and pony club unfortunately. There is the back country horsemen which I might check out as well as I enjoyed trails and camping with the horses. However, I think I will be trying to get another group going.
 
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