Help me convince my BF - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 11:55 AM Thread Starter
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Help me convince my BF

Hi guys,

Im going to start this off with this: I love rescue animals, all of my current pets are rescues and i plan on rescuing lots of animals in the future from dogs and cats to horses and farm animals.

The one thing I have learned doing rescue is that the groups hardly ever actually kow the whole background and all of the animals ticks and problems, there is just no way in a rescue situation to test for everything.

When I get my first horse thats 100% mine not a lease I want to purchase a horse that i will know the whole back story to and will have few issues. I want this is because I have medical conditions that could cause serious problems for me if i get thrown off of a animal who i didnt know the weird problems of. I was quiet honestly planning on buying a youngin and sending it for training so that i would get what i want.

My boyfriend who I will be moving in with after i graduate and then marrying at some point (Yes we have disscussed this, we both like to plan) is 100% against purchasing animals at all, and says im not allowed to.

is there anything you guys can think of that i could tell him that will allow me to get what ever horse i want weither it be rescue or purchase
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post #2 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 11:58 AM
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Ha. No one is going to tell me what i can or cannot do. If i want to purchase a horse, im darn well going to. no convicing is going to be necessary to my s.o.

if he is going to be controlling and telling you what you can or cannot do. perhaps there needs to be a come to jesus meeting between you and him.
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post #3 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 11:58 AM
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What's this 'allowing' thing? If it's your money, you can buy with it whatever you want. He sounds like a controlling jerk.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #4 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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I know i can do what ever i want i just dont want to deal with the ****ing match that will occur so i was hoping to find a way to sway him
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post #5 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:06 PM
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a guy like that, there is no swaying. you just need to stand up for yourself, do what YOU want and what is BEST for you. If he wants to be a jerk, fine. But dont you cave on what you want. if he wants to get ****y and not stick around afterwards because you didnt do as he demanded, then hes a coward and a immature child.

get the horse you want. you dont need his 'permission.'
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post #6 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:08 PM
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You're not married yet, and you're not sharing money and expenses. Do whatever you want with YOUR money, and tell him to go pound sand.

If you let him get away with telling you what you can and can't do before you tie the knot, expect that behavior to escalate, not get better. Once you're married and the money is pooled, then yes, you'll need to discuss making major purchases. Until then, it's none of his business.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #7 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:13 PM
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He should be supportive of what is important to you, and this is clearly something you're passionate about.

If he is unwilling to accept that this is a big deal for you, maybe moving in together etc isn't the best idea. Either he is going to be unhappy or you are and the relationship won't last.
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post #8 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:31 PM
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First, while knowing a horse's history might help, it will not guarantee that you will not get thrown or fall. The history only covers the past. The present could have something that causes you to hit the ground.

Second, its concerning that your boyfriend thinks he can allow or disallow you things and that you're okay with it. This is how many abusers start - by limiting your enjoyment of life. He could be totally coming from a good place given your medical issues but it's something that is a red flag.
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post #9 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:52 PM Thread Starter
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He came from a privileged life there are allot of his ideas i have had to retrain. It usually goes well its just usually a matter of finding the point that will get him to open his eyes. He has only taken lessens once up at uccon for a semester lonh class and has never fallen. I will be teaching him to ride when we get horses. Im sure the first time his *** ends up on the ground he will change his thinking, i just wanted to di it in a less painful way lol
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Last edited by Winterose; 10-10-2013 at 12:54 PM.
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post #10 of 56 Old 10-10-2013, 12:55 PM
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Just explain to him that this is something that is important to you, and that if he loves you and wants to be with you it's something that he needs to understand. It's healthy for people to have their own hobbies and passions in a relationship; this is one of yours and he needs to get that.

If he is really that against it, and it is really that important to you, then there are more things you need to deal with in your relationship before you move in together.
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