Horse Sales Terminology Translated: (gave me a chuckle) - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 12 Old 10-01-2013, 09:13 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wylie,TX
Posts: 550
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Horse Sales Terminology Translated: (gave me a chuckle)

BIG TROT: can't canter within a two mile straight-away.
NICELY STARTED: lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet.
TOP SHOW HORSE: won a reserve champion 5 years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to tornado warnings.
HOME BRED: knows nothing despite being raised on the back porch.
BIG BONED: good thing he has a mane and tail, or he would be mistaken for a cow.
NO VICES: especially when he wears his muzzle.
BOLD: runaway.
GOOD MOVER: runaway.
ATHLETIC: runaway.
NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER: runaway.
SHOULD MATURE OVER 16 HANDS: currently 14 hands, dam is 14.2, sire is 15.3 hands, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 16 hands, but *this* horse will defy his DNA and grow.
WELL MANNERED: hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a week.
PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED: hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a month.
4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
RECENTLY VETTED: someone else found something really wrong with this horse.
TO GOOD HOME ONLY: not really for sale unless you can
1) Pay twice what he is worth
2) Are willing to sign a 10 page legal document to allow current owner to tuck him in beddy-bye every night.
EXCELLENT DISPOSITION: never been out of the stall.
CLIPS, HAULS, LOADS: clippity clippity is the sound of his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking lot when you try to load him.
FOR SALE DUE TO LACK OF TIME: rider cannot afford to spend anymore time in the hospital.
QUIET: dead (almost).
SPIRITED: psychotic.
WELL BRED: mother and father are also brother and sister!
COLOR IS BLACK: brown and/or dirty.
ANY VET CHECK WELCOME: Please pay for us to find out what the is wrong with him!
SUITS EVENTING: no brakes.
SUITS DRESSAGE: no accelerator.
SUITS ANYONE: except us, we hate him!
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post #2 of 12 Old 10-01-2013, 09:38 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Quebec, Canada
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Haha, this gave me a good laugh! Thanks for sharing :)

Theatrical Affair - "Theo"
Feb. 6 ' 2009, 16.1hh, black Thoroughbred gelding

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post #3 of 12 Old 10-01-2013, 10:35 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 125
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This is hilarious! So true too, the clips, hauls, loads is the best!
Posted via Mobile Device
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post #4 of 12 Old 10-01-2013, 11:19 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Georgia USA
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7 years old --> We have no idea how old he is. He could be 2, 10, 25, or older, but we also know that everybody likes the age 7.

16 hands --> 14.3

15 hands --> 14 hands

Celeste
Carpe Diem!
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post #5 of 12 Old 10-02-2013, 10:22 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wylie,TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celeste View Post
7 years old --> We have no idea how old he is. He could be 2, 10, 25, or older, but we also know that everybody likes the age 7.

16 hands --> 14.3

15 hands --> 14 hands
Lol. That's funny
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post #6 of 12 Old 10-02-2013, 10:46 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: On the golden coast of Michigan
Posts: 934
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Quote:
suits anyone: Except us, we hate him!
lol love it.

For the wretched of the earth there is a flame that never dies.
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
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post #7 of 12 Old 10-03-2013, 12:25 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,035
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Quote:
TO GOOD HOME ONLY: not really for sale unless you can
1) Pay twice what he is worth
2) Are willing to sign a 10 page legal document to allow current owner to tuck him in beddy-bye every night.
I can't tell you how many times I have seen this one.

I want add one-
BEEN SADDLED: but bucked so hard we were too scared to do anything else.
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post #8 of 12 Old 10-03-2013, 06:11 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,122
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EASY KEEPER: has foundered in the past and may still be ;)
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We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
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post #9 of 12 Old 10-03-2013, 04:21 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 492
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Husband safe: we gave him enough bute to knock out an elephant.
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post #10 of 12 Old 10-03-2013, 08:48 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wylie,TX
Posts: 550
• Horses: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roux View Post
I want add one-
BEEN SADDLED: but bucked so hard we were too scared to do anything else.
lmao that is a good one
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