Horse vrs. Boyfriend. - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #21 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 02:16 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 13,263
• Horses: 5
You should not be settling down with what he thinks is appropriate. Horses have always been part of your life and that's something he should have respected. I think if you had been a more settled couple(more time together, or engaged/married), then adding horses to your life, or continuing horses in your life is something that should be talked about as a couple right-BUT this is totally different. If he won't respect your passion, how do you know he will respect other things in your life in the future.

Ride Canada's National Horse-the Canadian Horse. One of the most athletic and versatile horse breeds!
my2geldings is offline  
post #22 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 02:31 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: leeds uk
Posts: 348
• Horses: 2
i am a guy and i say kick him into touch as he is no good for you as he is thinking of him self and no one else
bigbull is offline  
post #23 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: South Sutton, NH
Posts: 923
• Horses: 3
Thanks, I like hearing the male point of view too. :) It really helps me think that I am not being selfish and I am doing the right thing and he is being a jerk about it.

Gizmo is offline  
post #24 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 02:55 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: leeds uk
Posts: 348
• Horses: 2
he is being a really big jerk about it he needs to stop and think about what he is doing and saying
bigbull is offline  
post #25 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 02:58 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 13,263
• Horses: 5
Originally Posted by Gizmo View Post
Thanks, I like hearing the male point of view too. :) It really helps me think that I am not being selfish and I am doing the right thing and he is being a jerk about it.
I totally think that you are. A few years ago, I dated this great guy for some time, and it turned out he lost on me when I attempted to show him what horses were about. Asked me why I was wasting money on them and he wanted nothing to do with them, or even let me talk about it! needless to say, that was the second last day we were a "couple". Your boyfriend needs to love you for who you are and respect you. He doesn't need to like what you do, but at least show you support and be happy because you're happy. What he is doing and saying is just rude. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

Ride Canada's National Horse-the Canadian Horse. One of the most athletic and versatile horse breeds!
my2geldings is offline  
post #26 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 04:27 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Clio Mi
Posts: 71
• Horses: 1

I give you credit, you didnt wait ll yrs to have this discussion/break up (dont get me wrong, it just wasnt the horse issue, there was more than just that but I gave him so many chances and I was just done.)

You are young like everyone is saying. Have fun, do some crazy things, be happy but dont let anyone else take that away from you. Have your talk, lay it down for him. Let him know. May be you can work it out. May be he will see the light.

What ever your descion, its your life. You know in your gut/heart what needs to be done.

Good luck!!!
horselver1979 is offline  
post #27 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 04:33 PM
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pennington, NJ
Posts: 630
• Horses: 1
Sometimes it helps to take a step back and think, "would I ever say/do this to him?" and "how would he react if I did?" IMO, he's the one acting childish and immature, certainly not you...

I've spent most of my life riding horses. The rest I've just wasted.
Zimpatico is offline  
post #28 of 30 Old 02-18-2011, 02:16 AM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Southeastern PA
Posts: 9,470
• Horses: 1
Personally I would not want to be with a guy who wanted to control me for one date, let alone one year. You have any idea just how many wonderful men there are in the world? You do not need to be with someone who wants to control you, have a look for someone who supports you instead.

My Hub has no interest in horses, I cannot even get him to ride, but he supports my desire for it. For me, money tends to get tight around Xmas, I told him that I was going to pay my board for 2 months in advance so money would be tight that month, he told me I was making a good decision.

Sounds to me like this guy wants you to spend the money on helping him with his bills, and he has no interest in your interests. When someone does not support you in the things you care about, this can be so bad.

I know it is never easy, but say goodbye. Let the door hit him on the way out. Go find yourself a sweet soul who would put your needs before his own.
AlexS is offline  
post #29 of 30 Old 02-18-2011, 12:27 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 432
• Horses: 3
It sounds to me like you are making the right choices based on LOGIC and that is extremely important. You are thinking about the entire future picture while he is thinking in terms of the next few months/year it sounds like.

Stand firm, there is no reason on earth, horses or no horses to let anyone dictate or manipulate you into a situation you would rather not be in. You're not being selfish again, you're being logical.

As I've told my BF everytime he gets ****y... The horse wins every time, so don't even start. It's not like you have to wonder where I'm spending my evenings and what bar I'm at with whom. I'm at the barn, I'm always at the barn, I smell like a horses ***, I ALWAYS smell like a horses ***. Suck it up. Do I love my horse more than you... well... He never gives me a problem when I go to YOUR house!

Horselover: Kudos to YOU as well. As horse people we are as a rule pretty strong, but we can only take so much!

He knows when you're happy
He knows when you're comfortable
He knows when you're confident
And he always knows when you have carrots.
~Author Unknown~
Dusty1228 is offline  
post #30 of 30 Old 02-18-2011, 01:05 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: southern Arizona
Posts: 12,418
• Horses: 4
For a relationship to work, both sides have to be willing to give. If a woman waits for a man who will only consider 'her needs', she'll never find a man worth having.

Love requires two. Women who expect a man to always give in don't want a man at all. The key isn't who gives, but HOW an agreement is reached on the compromise. Those who use threats or emotional coercion - "If you love me..." - aren't mature enough to build a lifelong relationship. OTOH, a discussion might include "If we want to reach common goal Z, then X & Y have to be done..."

When kids get involved, LOTS of compromises come up. Once there are kids, it stops any 'what I want' because it all turns into 'what our kids need'. I've been married for 24 years, with one wife, 3 kids and 3 grandkids (and 2 dogs and 2 horses). I'm WAY out of the dating stage (Thank God!)...but if I were dating, and a gal told me her horses come first, I'd tell her to enjoy her marriage to her horse and leave without regret. A gal who acted like that wouldn't be mature enough to build anything permanent with either.

It cuts both ways. Ultimatums and emotional blackmail are unacceptable to mature adults. Those who use them are kids, regardless of their age or sex.
bsms is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
WANTED: Boyfriend horse ;) HannahandAda Horses for Sale 2 11-17-2009 02:10 PM
My boyfriend said these were little Whipple Jumping 27 06-18-2009 12:46 AM
My Boyfriend Rides my Horse! equineangel91 English Riding 18 03-22-2009 04:19 PM
At times I like my horse better than my boyfriend because: JustDressageIt General Off Topic Discussion 20 03-22-2008 09:31 AM
My new boyfriend... melinda27858 Horse Pictures 11 03-18-2008 12:21 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome