How can I tell the lady at the barn I don't want to hear her stories? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 38 Old 11-28-2010, 03:05 PM
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Wear your iPod to the barn. Have your earbuds in while you groom. If she strikes up a conversation, when you're ready for the conversation to end, just smile, say "Good to talk to you." and put the earbuds back in. If she continues to want to talk, make an exagerated production of hand gestures, etc. before taking the ear buds back out.

Don't be rude, and be pleasant to the woman when you do talk to her, but do take control of the situation. If what you enjoy about the barn is quiet time with your horse, it's perfectly reasonable to take steps to ensure that's what you get.

Last edited by maura; 11-28-2010 at 03:38 PM.
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post #12 of 38 Old 11-28-2010, 03:21 PM
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Much better idea.
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post #13 of 38 Old 11-28-2010, 03:26 PM
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That's a really good idea I never thought of that!
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post #14 of 38 Old 11-28-2010, 04:28 PM
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Ipod is a good idea. Its great for getting rid of unwanted people. I always take them shopping, because you know those stalls where they follow you around and have hand creams from the dead sea or nail buffers? Well when you have headphones it is so much easier to escape.

I have an inability to escape people. There is this woman at the tackshop who is really, really nice and I really like her but when I start talking to her I end up being there for 45 mins, no kidding. Sometimes I just don't have that time to spend. If I go places with friends I make pre-arranged signals so they can say "time for a lecture" or something. If i don't I just get stuck places.

Maybe "make time limits", say something like "would love to stay and chat but I have to be home at 6pm for dinner with family, and I really want to fit in a ride". Then walk away.
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post #15 of 38 Old 11-29-2010, 08:04 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myhorsesonador View Post
There is a diffrence between an occasional conversation and not leaving some one alone.

How would you like it if some one followed you around blabing in your ear the whole time your trying to work with your horse?????
My intention is not to be mean, but I do need to set a boundary with her so my entire time with my own horse is not taken up with her right next to me telling me about her horse.... I appreciate that she wants to share, but I am not there for her.... I am there for me and my horse :)

"Equine-facilitated therapy employs a form of biofeedback for practicing self-awareness, emotional management, and relationship skills that human role-playing exercises and discussion groups cannot begin to access." Linda Kohanov (The Tao of Equus)
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post #16 of 38 Old 11-29-2010, 08:07 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by sullylvr View Post
She said in the op that she didn't want to never talk to these ladies, she just wanted alone time with her horse
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That is why I am asking what to say... I don't want to shut down conversations completely, but I do need some alone time with my own horse. Maybe that is what I will say, "hey very nice lady, I don't want to stop our conversations completely, but right now, I need some alone time with my horse... would you mind if we continued this conversation next time I see you? I really like hearing what you have to say"

What do you think?

"Equine-facilitated therapy employs a form of biofeedback for practicing self-awareness, emotional management, and relationship skills that human role-playing exercises and discussion groups cannot begin to access." Linda Kohanov (The Tao of Equus)
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post #17 of 38 Old 11-29-2010, 08:21 AM
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like it
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post #18 of 38 Old 11-29-2010, 08:28 AM
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I like Maura's advice.

Though, you say they are new at the barn. Might she be less talkative once she has been there a bit? She might just be at the stage where she is trying to fit in and make new friends.

I would give it some time, you be polite but not gabby back, etc. If it does not slow down then do what Maura suggested.
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post #19 of 38 Old 11-30-2010, 05:33 AM
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I had to laugh at this thread. Why? Because I'm going through the EXACT same thing, only it's someone I WORK with. Even worse. At least at the barn you can leave when you want to.

It's hard to be tactful in these situations because you don't want to make waves. Have you tried hinting that you want to just spend some "alone" time with your horse?
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post #20 of 38 Old 11-30-2010, 07:10 AM
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I would just be upfront with people. Why are you afraid to just say hey, I need some alone time right now and if I have some time later we can talk. I am not real upfront either because of not wanting to be mean or make waves, but if its going to consume you or interfere with work, it has to be done. As nice as possible but to the point or some people just don't get it.
Amir: especially at work. I know how you feel and if it becomes a problem just let that person know that you don't want to get in trouble for talking or even make up a story. Such as your boss noticed you and this person chatting a bit to much and he/she would appreciate it if you kept you mind on your work. Something like that. Its unfortunate when we have to do something like this but with some people you have to be upfront and get r done!
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