How do you feel about your horse being ridden without your consent? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 01:43 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Italy, Latina
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How do you feel about your horse being ridden without your consent?

Hey guys,

I recently moved my Sello Italiano from a private yard to a schooling yard because of the awesome instructor. I'm very happy there and the people are all friendly and helpful. When I went to South Africa to visit family, the owners son rode my horse (for a price) to keep him in shape. When I returned, I rode 6 days a week and it was great.

A couple weeks ago I found out I was pregnant, which didn't hamper my riding. Then the rain hit and left the arena's all sloshy so I was unable to ride. THEN last week morning sickness visisted me ... anyway, long story short I didn't ride my boy for two weeks. On Monday (which is the horses day off) I went with my fiance to visit and chat to the owner. He said if I'm feeling up to it I must come on Friday for a lesson, I said cool!

Today (Thursday) I felt good and decided to go ride. When I got to the farm I saw some girl I've never seen or met riding my horse in the arena? I actually looked twice because I thought it impossible the owner would just let someone else ride my horse without my permission. Further more he was giving her a lesson on my horse. When he saw me, he told her to leave the arena as I had arrived obviously to ride my horse. I didn't say anything to either one of them and did my hour ride. On my drive home it just bothered me so much. Not so much that someone else was riding my horse, but rather that my permission wasn't given! Just because I'm pregnant and suffering from some morning sickness surely doesn't give the farm owner the right to earn money giving other people lessons on my horse?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it? How do I deal with it? The owner is very nice and I don't want to muddy the water, but feel I can't just not say anything ... any advice would be greatly appreciated
JillValentine is offline  
post #2 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 01:48 PM
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
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Personally... I'd probably drag her off my horse, and ask her how she would feel if she came home and found me riding her stud. Then I would make it very clear that under no uncertain terms that if I should EVER catch her on my horse again, it would require a trip to the ER.
Same thing if someone took my truck.

Now, had the asked, I would have hashed out some details and probably made a plan. But I'm possessive about my horses (and my truck) and just because of the millions of things that can go wrong, I don't deal with it lightly at all.

Maybe I would suggest having a quiet, sensible (I don't usually follow that road LOL) talk with the barn owner discussing the liability cases she could suffer from should your horse decide to go bonkers and hurt or kill her. Monetary settlements tend to make people open their eyes a little bit.
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post #3 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 01:50 PM
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Well, the barn owner can't be TOO nice if he's been using your horse for lessons without your permission.

You need to nip this in the bud now. In fact, you should have brought down the wrath of God on the BO when you saw him giving a lesson to some stranger on your horse, instead of wimping out and meekly riding as if nothing had happened.

You can bet this girl isn't the only person he's allowing up on your horse. I'll lay odds he's using him as a schoolie all week, in multiple lessons.

I've moved a horse for something like that, and if I weren't caring for them at home now, I'd do it again. Totally, completely inexcusable.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #4 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 01:54 PM
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No way no how nope nuh uh. Nope.
My horse would be moved ASAP.
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post #5 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 01:57 PM
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I'd be certifiable if I caught someone on my horse.......I'd drag them off by the word of a lie.
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post #6 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 02:03 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
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I would be absolutely livid and would have marched over, taken my horse and asked her to dismount and ordered transport to move the same day!

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post #7 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Italy, Latina
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Quick update so you better understand why I never said anything, or rather COULDN'T! I'm living in Italy now and am far from fluent in Italian. I'm very sure the girl sensed me being upset since I avoided eye contact and was pretty off with her.

Also my horse is far from a schooling horse. He is a very big boy with a lot of strength. He is definitely not for a novice rider, so for the yard owner to simply put anyone (I have no idea how good a rider or not this girl is) on my horse is as WSArabians put it, dangerous!

I also noticed a big healing cut on his forehead, and dried flakey skin (due to not rinsing sweat off after work) on the top of his legs, near the girth.

Now that I'm taking about it and thinking about it more, I'm feeling more and more upset. When my fiance gets home I'll have a chat with him and tomorrow we'll chat to the yard owner.

Thank you for your responses and making me not feel crazy for feeling totally unhappy about this.
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JillValentine is offline  
post #8 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 02:19 PM
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This happened to a fellow horsewoman I know. She was boarding her horse at a place and began wondering why the mare seemed tired all the time. Coming out early and discovering marks left from a saddle that wasn't hers confirmed matters. Turns out the BO was charging her full board and using her horse for lessons and that was the end of it for her.

I think you should get yourself situated to move your horse (in case talks don't go well) then have it out with the BO. If you're not good at oral debate then go for it in writing; send them a letter (registered) or hand it to them. Either way, don't leave it as this is the exact same principle as a horse showing disrespect for you - it must be corrected or matters get worse. Beforehand have it clearly and firmly in mind what you want to say, don't waiver from it, don't compromise it. You can be civil and start your conversation off by saying something like "In view of what happened on (whatever date), I want to clarify my situation here..." then set out your points.

Best of luck to you and keep us posted as to how things went.
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post #9 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 02:19 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
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You're not crazy to be upset; I'd have had a full out meltdown. Language barrier or not, both he and his student would have understood in no uncertain terms that this was unacceptable if it were my horse.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #10 of 56 Old 06-06-2013, 02:23 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
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Um, I agree with everyone else ... Not just no, but HAYELLLLLLLLL NO!

As Muppet said.. I would be certifiable .. my blood pressure went up just reading this thread.
texasgal is offline  

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