I can't get over this. - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 25 Old 02-19-2012, 12:08 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
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she should take care of you that is what trainer( teacher do)

ride a draft and see the world differently
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post #22 of 25 Old 02-19-2012, 07:37 AM
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Originally Posted by FreeDestiny View Post
I have a lesson again monday and I plan on talking to her then, I'd even be willing to offer to get off and lower the fences for myself and raise them again for her through the entire lesson, until I'm comfortable moving up.
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No offence but I think this is a terrible idea. She is your instructor, you are paying her to instruct. You're not paying to climb up and down a horse fixing jumps. I'm going to be a little harsh here, but I think you are of a very much "victim" mentality right now, which is kind of ridiculous. You start of the thread by saying you were losing your confidence, only wanted to jump 2ft, and that the horse was crashing through the jump, and then said later on that you were enjoying 3ft jumps? Which is it? I don't think you, your coach or the horse is bad, but I think you have to get things straight in your head before you can attempt to fix the communication problem between you three, which there obviously is.

I don't think the height of the fences is really your problem. There isn't much between a 2ft and 3ft fence, you practically ride them the same, and if the horse is capable then there shouldn't be a problem. But if the horse is running out and plowing through jumps you should be going back to basics. Grids, moving off the leg etc. One of the best instructors I ever had taught me something I found really important - most training for any discipline is done on the flat. Once you perfect things on the flat, you just add fences and go over them. To me, jumping isn't about going over the fences, its the riding you do in between. So, if I were you, I'd go back to your flat work, maybe take a couple of weeks without jumping and get your stuff together. Something has obviously to make you uncomfortable, you know it, your horse knows it, and your coach probably guesses, work out what the problem is and fix it. And this may not even be a riding problem, it could be personal, you could have seen a car accident or watched a freaky movie that made your realise you're not invincible and suddenly that jump is too big. Don't just jump for the sake of it. My opinion is that if you're not fully confident you can get over that jump you have no business jumping it.

Someone on here mentioned respecting the instructor. Now I respect all human beings but I don't accept anything blindly. If someone is successful or educated in whatever I am learning I certainly will give their advice more weight, but that doesn't mean I just do whatever they say. Respect isn't doing whatever someone says. Coaches don't always know best, nor do teachers or parents or doctors. I know people who do these things, and they're not gods, they're not infallible, they make mistakes everyday, they misunderstand things, all of them have contradictory opinions and none of them are right all the time. Question what you're told, be honest about what you want and if your instructor isn't willing to offer you the service you want get a new one but if you're not upfront and honest about things you are going to have the same problems all over again. Don't blame other people or other things, tell them how it is, how you feel and work together from there.
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post #23 of 25 Old 02-19-2012, 08:48 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: SW MO
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Whether it be a horse trainer or sports trainer or workout trainer the group is 1/2 right. You employ them so you can set the rules.


Once you set the rules, it is the trainer's responsibility to get you to achieve them.

For example. If you hire a trainer to train you to compete in a triathlon he is going to push you hard enough to compete in a triathlon. And part of that training will be pushing you hard. Continuously.

If half way through your training you lose confidence in yourself And just want to do a 5k marathon the trainer is there to keep pushing you towards the original goal.

We are our own worse enemies. We get lazy. We chicken out. We are willing to quit when the going gets hard. We lose faith and confidence.

A trainer serves two roles. One to impart knowledge we don't have. The second is to push us beyond our norm.

Think about coaches. High dive coaches. "coach, I don't think I'm ready to dive off the 10 meter board.". " well okay Suzy. Stay at the 5 meter until your comfortable."

Um not.

You need to talk about YOUR goals with your trainer. But once you do, you are counting on her to help you past your own enemies. And sometimes that means telling you that you are screwing up. And pushing you past your own comfort.

Think back to when you hired her. What goals did you communicate?

I know your experienced sucked. But think of almost any athlete movie involving a trainer/coach and trainee. You are living the movie. You are about 40 minutes into it. Grin.

Good luck.
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Last edited by AQHSam; 02-19-2012 at 08:54 AM.
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post #24 of 25 Old 02-19-2012, 08:54 AM
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Ps. If you trust the coach to get you to he finish line do what she says. If you dont, then find a new coach.

If you doubt her experience, skill, teaching methods, anything find a new coach. Otherwise, trust in her and do what she says.

You can't distrust (or second guess) your coach and perform. It's not in our wiring.
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post #25 of 25 Old 02-20-2012, 02:12 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
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I don't know your coach, but I do know a good coach wouldn't send a horse and rider over a jump if they weren't capable of doing so. It's kinda hard to give advice in these kind of situations when your not in the situation or don't know the people/horse..that being said, your coach saying "you can't do it" has little red flags poping up in my head. My coach would never say anything like that to me, she would say I can do it, even when I am feeling a little nearvous. I know how you feel about loosing confidence with jumping. I have been struggling with that for the past couple of months to the point where its just not enjoyable anymore. But I keep pushing myself through it and it has gotten better and lately I have been feeling way more condfident with jumping and thats partly because of the horse I ride and my coach having faith in me. So maybe you should switch horses or coaches? And sometimes going back to jumping smaller fences and working your way back up is helpful. Anywho hope you can get it sorted out, goodluck :)
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