I board our horses and most of my friends do as well. Bottom line is, there is no perfect situation. The BO truly believes your horse needs that corn, so in my opinion at least she cares about your horse. And she was honest with you. That is not to be taken lightly especially considering other boarding situations I have heard about. If you like other things about the barn I would try and work it out. Be very tactful about the corn thing. I like the idea of bringing the vet's opinion in to it. So it is not you against the BO. If your horse gets too heavy, even by a little, it could start to founder or get the beginnings of navicular. Yes, you need to address the issue I agree, but bend over backwards with compliments, appreciation and tact and see if that gets the results you want.
Thank you. Yes, I am eternally grateful that she was upfront with us about what she was doing. We've approached her quite tactfully...the fact remains however she is still going to do what she wants regardless of what we say. She's proven this to us. Part of her wanting to give the grain, I suspect, is that she feels sorry for Lilly when all the other horses get some. This I feel is somewhat irresponsible.
She does care for Lilly. She cares for all her animals. I just wish she would respect our wishes. How hard is that? Obviously Lilly has not died from a lack of grain before now, so why does she feel she needs to start! But I know what you are saying. It could be worse...I would rather have a BO who cared for my horse than one who didn't give a ****.
The other place is a few streets over and is a training barn, the BO there would seem to have a good reputation. We'd have easy access to an indoor arena and a public outdoor arena, and a variety of roundpens. The second place is located about five minutes away from us! It might be trailbound however, which would not suit our needs. At least "out there" we have access to endless desert miles. We are in the market for a trailer so you can see how this might be an issue. But the proximity means I can do chores for a reduced rate.
All three places have their pros and cons...the newer two will be evaluated carefully. I do think we are making the right decision though.