I'm done. - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 31 Old 03-04-2010, 05:32 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Washington, USA.
Posts: 6,635
• Horses: 2
I'm also on the "don't give up yet" wagon. I think you should keep your chin up and just plow through the crap. If I remember correctly, you tried to go into business with a friend, and said "friend" screwed you over and told your clients not to use you, yes? You mentioned a gentleman that had several horses? If that's right, I would suggest talking to the gentleman, and tell him you will give him one free lesson or one free hour, something like that. Tell him that you believe you are the right person for the job, and you'd like to show him. He's not going to be losing any money on a "bad" trainer [instructor?], and he can either stick to his ridiculous plan on finding someone else, or her can realize you're the real deal. =] It's just a thought.

And one more thing. People suck. People have always sucked, and they will always suck. But horses are amazing. They are much better company. Isn't that why we get horses in the first place?

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
riccil0ve is offline  
post #22 of 31 Old 03-04-2010, 05:51 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Kansas in the summer, Kentucky most of the time
Posts: 3,028
• Horses: 3
I'm going to sound like a broken record here. but hear me out...

I was recently in a situation much like yours. I felt completely overwhelmed and stuck. There was a "friend" who though I was her competition and continuously tried to one-up me with her money and expensive horse. Saying nasty things about my horses and my looks in the process. I was going to switch disciplines because of her, and then she made me feel so bad, that I wanted get out of horses completely. Then, I realized that it wasn't HORSES I had a problem with, it was HER. So, I cut her out of my life completely, and my passion for my horses and competition was renewed.

Get those toxic people out of your life and focus on your own horses!

Look like a SUPERSTAR, Ride like a FOUR STAR, Win like a ROCKSTAR
Eventers: Making BAD Dressage look GOOD!
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post #23 of 31 Old 03-04-2010, 06:19 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Central Pa
Posts: 639
• Horses: 2
Amen Drew!!!!!!!!!!!
centrestableswendy is offline  
post #24 of 31 Old 03-04-2010, 07:02 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,527
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When is the point when a person should give up? When is it unfair to the horse and rider? When should a person stop feeling all these emotions?

Your husband is in the military and you're finding it hard to move? All my friends always have the opposite problem Dx

Maybe sell one or two and keep them as a hobby? instead of a career?

White Foot is offline  
post #25 of 31 Old 03-04-2010, 07:30 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Wyaconda, Missouri
Posts: 127
• Horses: 4
Amen to what Drew and Kevin posted.. sounds like horses are part of your heart.. don't let the nasty people be the reason that you give up.. it sounds like from some of the posts that you were an inspiration to some horse loving people,, let us be your inspiration..
snazzydandy is offline  
post #26 of 31 Old 03-04-2010, 08:02 PM
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 509
• Horses: 5
Don't quit! Listen to what Kevin and Drew and Wendy have said. Just please don't quit! :(

To keep up with myself and my horses, the ups, downs, training, and shows, click the picture of me and Atty! BLOG
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post #27 of 31 Old 03-08-2010, 12:36 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: SC
Posts: 163
• Horses: 4
Well I have to agree with everyone else, don't give up. Maybe downsize and just be horse owner and ride for yourself and don't worry about everyone else. Being a military spouse is tough, I know. I spent 20 years dragging wife and kids around the world and back again.I have a really good friend that is having a tough time at her barn too. She is still riding and but those people are getting to her. I don't understand why people that have horses are not in it for the horses but instead try and run rough shod over those that truly are there for the horses. Keep your chin up and it will work out, just be tough. You will come out on top. God speed. To you and your husband thanks for all that you do for this great country.
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post #28 of 31 Old 03-08-2010, 09:35 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 227
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No........... Maybe lease them out! Dont just rush off and do this.
I felt the same way and took time off for about 2-3 months and started backa gain. I couldnt just give it up. You may be having a hard time right now but it will get better!
Trust me I swore off horses and and ridding but after a few months I missed it and went right back
kated is offline  
post #29 of 31 Old 03-08-2010, 07:44 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,621
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I have a similar story to tell. After high school I went to a summer equestrian program at an agricultural college. The head instructor was Napoleon reincarnated. I would have to write a novel to explain all the bad stuff that went on there, but just for example... They didn't tell us ahead of time that we would be responsible to do all the barn chores in addition to classes. We had to take turns skipping one meal a day (which were paid for) to get everything done on time.

Funny thing is, about a month into the program my instructor (who was a complete nutbar) told us that her daughter had announced she wanted to quit riding. A few weeks later, I felt exactly the same way. So this one woman made two people want to quit horses.

Anyway, I did quit for several years... and when I found that I wanted to go back, I no longer had the money. That's where I'm at today. If I had never quit I would have made different career decisions so that I could continue to afford riding.
ponyboy is offline  
post #30 of 31 Old 03-08-2010, 08:41 PM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 13,258
• Horses: 5
I've been following your story and it's unfortunate that someone caused all this grief in your life and career. Unfortunately, the world is FULL of nasty people. The most important thing to remember is that you're a great horse owner, a great trainer and you have a husband, home who loves you.

If the cost of keeping horses is the issue, then sell the ones that will save you the difference down to what you CAN pay. Don't sell a horse who's bond you will never replace. You will regret it and that guilt will follow you forever.

Slow down, move to a barn you like(which you did), maybe sell a couple horses so you can continue your passion to a level you can afford but keep doing what you're doing. I'm sure your husband would appreciate you continuing what you have spent years doing.

As others posted, getting out of horses and save money might sound appealing at the moment, especially with what has happened but you are a horse person at heart, and you staying "out" of horses won't last. You will end up going back out to buy another horse, you will realize what you had and be upset for a long time.

Only you can make the decision. I just went through the same thing but it was because of health reasons. For me it was the right decision and I'm actually quite happy with it. Maybe, just maybe leaving is the right thing for you to do BUT you really have to think about it for a lot longer before doing anything permanent.

Good luck with your decisions.
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