I'm Done...I Can't Do It - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 28 Old 01-26-2011, 10:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ptvintage View Post
Ask your instructor for a trail riding lessons instead of your usual lesson.
Great advice!

Do you have any local forums or clubs? When I started my qh on trails I found some people I never met on local forums, explained what I'm looking for, and asked if I can ride with them to make my horse more comfortable.



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post #12 of 28 Old 01-26-2011, 10:56 PM
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Thanks for explaining that to me. YOur description of how her attention wanders constantly was clarifying. It does seem to back up the notion that she does not see you as a VIP. She may be one of those horses that has a very short attention span, and this requires you to constantly keep pulling it back from her. AND, to improve on that, you may have to work with her is such a way that she takes a good, long second look at her owner and sees someone who is worth looking at. That would mean maybe working with her in round pen or on a long lunge and makeing her move (someone said lots of changes of directions) and making her LOOK at you . You can't blame her for having a short attention span. But you need to be at least part of what she is looking at. Then when her attention wanders, you interrupt it (not punish!) so that it becomes "noisy and uncomfortable" when she is looking elsewhere, and quiet and peaceful when she looks at you.
I agree that riding in the side of the road now sounds risky, but you sound like a tough cookie to me. ME, I am probably old and overly cautious in comparison.

One thing, please try not to get into the mind set of thinking like your horse is behaving this way just to be "bad" or to get your goat. Once you set up an adversarial way of thinking toward your horse, you will have many negative feelings that will only interfere with your ability to make yourself a GOOD place to be and all those other things not worth the bother.
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post #13 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 08:39 AM Thread Starter
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My instructor said if it's not too cold we can go outside and do trail stuff this week...that's great, but honestly, it won't solve anything. When I have an experienced instructor right beside me, knowing she can help if the horse acts up, I'm so calm and relaxed. When I'm at home again, it's going to be different. RRRR..I'm so frustrated at how stupid and cowardly and weak I am.



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post #14 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 08:59 AM
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Well said Tiny :)
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post #15 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 09:06 AM
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Now your no coward or weak. I'll have to admit i thought i was to. I had a mare that just wouldn't pay no attention to me nor anything i tried doing with her. She was worse though she tried biting and kicking me when i got on. Well month later that all stopped but i never felt conformable on her not safe at all. So i pick to sell her. It was hard at first, her being my first horse ever. But i don't regret it. she went to a good home where the girl there got along with her just fine. She selling her know thought cause she wants to barrel race. I got me a great gelding that i know i can trust and we work as one instead of two different people/horse. If you don't feel safe or comfortable it all boils down to selling her cause if ya don't one of yal are going to end up hurt.

Trouble rides a fast horse.....(Shrug)..... I ride a faster one.

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post #16 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 09:13 AM
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Maybe you're trying to accomplish more than you're ready for. Take small steps and accomplish small things so you have successes rather than failures.
Play with your horse - desensitizing exercises are great for establishing your dominance, without resorting to punishment or overreacting. She's feeding off of your nervousness. You're mind is working against you. You can train your mind to think positive. It helps to have a plan b4 you get involved with your horse. Keep your mind focused on that, and if a negative thought enters, work through it, or do something else until your courage comes back. Start over with things you are comfortable with and move on from there. Like I said earlier, I've been there. My horse used to push me around until I found someone that cared enough to help us out. I've learned how to react to his nervous behavior -(which is to not react at all!) If you make an issue of it, every time you ride, it will be an issue.
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post #17 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineofmyLife View Post
Maybe you're trying to accomplish more than you're ready for. Take small steps and accomplish small things so you have successes rather than failures.
Play with your horse - desensitizing exercises are great for establishing your dominance, without resorting to punishment or overreacting. She's feeding off of your nervousness. You're mind is working against you. You can train your mind to think positive. It helps to have a plan b4 you get involved with your horse. Keep your mind focused on that, and if a negative thought enters, work through it, or do something else until your courage comes back. Start over with things you are comfortable with and move on from there. Like I said earlier, I've been there. My horse used to push me around until I found someone that cared enough to help us out. I've learned how to react to his nervous behavior -(which is to not react at all!) If you make an issue of it, every time you ride, it will be an issue.
VERY well said, and exactly what I was thinking. Find the positive in everything There is something good-always, rather than focusing on the negative. Works for everything, IMO. Attitude can very much be a self fulfilling prophecy. If you expect bad, that is what you will get. If you expect that you will have fun and it will be good, that is what will happen.
Baby steps, focus on the good, and don;t make a big deal out of stuff. If you do it will become one.

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post #18 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 10:59 AM
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What sort of saddle do you use?

I like riding English, but I won't ride one off property. The trails here are very rocky, I have a horse who worries about joggers who are a mile away, and I'm too old to think I can fall today and bounce back tomorrow. My last fall was 2 years ago this month, and my lower back/hip are still a bit sore where I landed on a couple of rocks.

So I bought an Australian style saddle. It feels English, but has a lot more to help me stay in the saddle when things start to get iffy. And because I know I'm more secure, I relax more and ride better. That makes my mare more confident. It also gives me the confidence to get after my mare if she starts acting up - instead of worrying about staying on, I can concentrate on making her obey. She knows that as well, and it brings her mind back to me.
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post #19 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 11:43 AM
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BSMS that's good advice. I also bought an Aussie saddle for the same reasons.

Alltheprettyhorses, you have gotten some great advice here. I understand your frustration. My horse is the exact opposite, He is GREAT on the trails, but at home in the pasture or in the area he is bored so he tends to act up. We are really focusing on the ground work and lunging so he will respect me more and taking it in baby steps.

The outside of a horse is good for the inside of man.........unknown
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post #20 of 28 Old 01-27-2011, 11:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses View Post
My instructor said if it's not too cold we can go outside and do trail stuff this week...that's great, but honestly, it won't solve anything. When I have an experienced instructor right beside me, knowing she can help if the horse acts up, I'm so calm and relaxed. When I'm at home again, it's going to be different. RRRR..I'm so frustrated at how stupid and cowardly and weak I am.
It will. It's called "build confidence" (in your horse as well). Just ride out with her as much as you can!



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