Im sorry, but you dont have to be a DB to be an effective teacher. Of ANYTHING. Period.
If you learn best being abused by someone, more power to you. But it is completely out of line to suggest there are two ways to go about this...an "effective dbag", or an ineffective, dishonest fool blowing rainbow dust up our rears.
My last BO was a great person, spent a lot of money and travel time to take reining lessons. She invested in new gear and a high speed (mil speak lol) lease horse. Week after week, I watched her enthusiasm and spirit die, as her trainer pushed and pushed....telling her she HAD to show, that she HAD to spur her horse more, push, push push. Yelling at her and everything! She was so discouraged, she started losing her desire to learn! She felt that she must suck if the trainer was treating her like that all the time.
Now dont get me wrong, she admittedly learned tons, especially since she never had formal lessons....but being beaten down is not the best way to learn, for her, or many others. This isnt boot camp!
PS, I dont give a crap if someone is the Queen of the Known World, that does not give them the right to mistreat me, be it horse riding or graduate studies, Id take my money elsewhere.
I don't know if I would classify that is "abusive" so much as it was a bad "fit" of trainer and student. If someone's goal is to do reining, I would just assume they meant, ultimately, to show. If someone is at the point they can
do "x" or "y", but hesitate, would you lie and tell them no problem b/c they will be competing against people that are equally as hesitant to do "x" or "y"? Or, would you push them? I've intentionally "lightly asked" a horse b/c I knew their ability and hesitated to "turn it on" full throttle. And, I have had that met w some not so kind words and zero understanding or sympathy, to put it mildly. At some point you say, "okay, crap, I will do it afraid, jackass
", and you do. For me, if I hadn't been pushed with "abusive" tone and choice of words when necessary
, I would have never "grown". And, I have
on occasion backed out, gotten mad, and sulked. A coward dies a million deaths....so for some of us...thank heavens for the well timed "abuse" - we needed it. Others may not.