Keeping calm when riding a frustrating horse? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Icrazyaboutu View Post
Sounds like you give up. That may work for some people and some horses, but if I let my guy win, he will always be difficult when I ask him to do that task.
Give up? I don't think so......you say if you let your guy win he will always be difficult when you ask him to do that task......just because I use my brain and know when to quit for the day 'on a good note' and I go home and think about an issue or seek help from a trainer doesn't mean I give up. Riding a horse bareback and bridle less and having to slap it around the neck to get it to do what you want doesn't sound like much forethought or planning was involved. All good riders know when to stop what they're doing and go away and think.
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post #22 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
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Really? You don't think stopping the task your horse is being difficult when asked to do is giving up? Sure you have it do something else before getting off. But it still got away with not listening to you for the original task.
ANd no. There wasn't forethought because I decided to trot him around after I was already on his back. I never plan anything.
And thank you for calling me a bad rider. Your uneducated opinion really matters to me.

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post #23 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Icrazyaboutu View Post
Really? You don't think stopping the task your horse is being difficult when asked to do is giving up? Sure you have it do something else before getting off. But it still got away with not listening to you for the original task.
ANd no. There wasn't forethought because I decided to trot him around after I was already on his back. I never plan anything.
And thank you for calling me a bad rider. Your uneducated opinion really matters to me.
Asking a horse to do something it's incapable of doing, which is obvious in your first post, and then getting frustrated with him and slapping him around the neck and having him run over to other horses while your on his back sounds to me like you lost the battle long before you slapped him......

A horse that's being difficult when be asked to complete a task he's been trained well for and asking a horse to do something he's not been well trained for are two different things......a well broke horse vs. a horse with holes in its training need to be ridden differently.


Don't get your knickers in a bunch because you made a poor choice and now you're not getting the answers you expected. Why don't you call Stacy Westfall and ask her how she does it?
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post #24 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:27 PM
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When I'm riding a "frustrating" horse, I stop a minute and think about what I am doing and what I can do to get the result I'm want. Sometimes they are just in a bad mood or whatever and are jerks for the day, in that case I change the game plan and work on something that allows me to come out the winner without engaging in an unnecessary fight. Other times my cues are sloppy or I'm not utilizing the necessary equipment to direct the horse. I'm the leader and I'm supposed to be the smarter one, sometimes being a good leader is knowing when to change your approach. That's how I deal with my frustration when Soda is being a jerkwad.

In your case, I would've stopped, gotten tack, and worked on refreshing his memory of listening to me. Depending on his attitude I would possibly try tackless a the end of the ride or the next day. It's not giving up, it's coming at it from another angle.

Are you hoping to show him tackless at some point?
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post #25 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:28 PM
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"I ended up slapping him and kicking until he miraculously figured out what I wanted and started doing it. After he went around the arena, sticking to the fence each way, I got off and called it a day. But just because it ended up working this time, doesn't mean I want to guide him until he gets what I'm asking by slapping him. So, how do I stay calm and think logically WITHOUT giving up and letting him win!?"
And
"I did end on a good note. But instead of stopping what I was trying to get him to do, I pushed till he stopped being lazy and listened. Right after he did what I wanted, we stopped. I always end on a good note."
None of us were there, and none of us have spent years riding around you and your horse. Internet advice is thus always a bit questionable.

With my horses, what you described wouldn't qualify as ending on a good note. I've never tried anything like that with Cowboy, but both Trooper and Mia would be an emotional wreck afterward. That doesn't mean YOUR horse was, but my 2 main horses would be! Give Mia 24 hours to replay that ride in her mind, and she'd be darn near unrideable the next day. She is entirely capable of getting so nervous that she can break into a heavy sweat just standing in a corral.

If you don't want to get mad at horses, I suggest stop thinking of it with a 'dominate/subordinate', 'I win or lose' mindset. That can be hard. Once in a while, Mia will have a day of "You're not the boss of me!", and those rides are never fun.

You wrote of bonding. I tend to poo-poo bonding, and say we don't ride the bond...but in a way we do. The vast majority of my experience is with Arabians, but the Quarter Horses I've ridden also seem to respond to respect and genuine concern. There is a balance to be found, and I don't always find it: The horse needs to obey, but they obey better if respected, but they won't respect someone who is weak, so...where is the line? And if I'm not certain where it is with Mia, after 4+ years of riding her, then I sure can't tell you where it is with your horse.

But I do find that if I go out with a fixed agenda, and plan on dominating the horse, that I often get frustrated, angry, and lose all understanding of the horse. When I think in terms of winning over the horse, I drop out sensitivity to the horse's training and understanding.

I keep a leather rein tied to my saddle so I can give Mia a swat on the butt. If I used it regularly, she'd be unrideable. In my limited experience, if I resort to it more than once in a ride, something is wrong. And the rides where I need it at all come about 4-5 times/year, not regularly.

If you want to control your emotions, don't think of it as "I must win". Think of it as "I must train", and allow that in training, you may discover your horse hasn't gone as far as you thought he had. That takes some of the personal feeling out, and lets you think about it rationally instead of emotionally.

Riders ask "How?" Horsemen ask "Why?"

Last edited by bsms; 03-31-2013 at 03:31 PM.
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post #26 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:33 PM
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I would say, from reading OP that you are lucky to not be in hospital bed typing this.

And am I correct that you think bits/bridles and saddles are cruel which is why you want to ride with none of them?

So tell me this...how is slapping and kicking the horse a "kinder and gentler way?"

You have more holes in your training that horse does from your posts and responses to others who have weighed in.

You don't need to bond with a horse to have a well trained horse, but you do have to know what you are doing when you are trying to train one.

This horse showed you very clearly that it has only been humoring you so far in this whole "run wild run free" method of horsemanship you tout.

When push came to shove and horse didn't feel like going along with it, he showed you that you are not in control.

And as a side note here? It's a good thing you don't ride with an instructor or at any barn where there would have been anyone to witness your temper tantrum, as you would have been pulled off horse and "slapped and kicked" yourself, and then sent packing.
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post #27 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 03:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Icrazyaboutu View Post
...ANd no. There wasn't forethought because I decided to trot him around after I was already on his back. I never plan anything...
If you are not being sarcastic, then either A) you are an incredible, sensitive, instinctive rider of exceptional skill, or B) you are not training your horse.

Training requires step by step progress. It doesn't just happen.

Riders ask "How?" Horsemen ask "Why?"
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post #28 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:05 PM
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This sounds like some good ol fashoned trollin' --No way OP is serious!


She hit her horse untill he listened? Are you kiddin me? Where is your parents at while youre ridin this 18hh buddy sour horse?


I'm not believing it!
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post #29 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:10 PM Thread Starter
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Muppet- He IS trained to do it. Maybe your horses never test you while riding but mine do. His test yesterday was because he was being lazy and didn't want to trot on the rail. His idea to get out of it was to run at the other horse. Even if I were riding with all the tack on, he still would have tested me. I just would have had the reins to control him more with. His behavior has little to do with the fact that he wasn't tacked up and more to do with his personality.

MNT- No. I'm not planning on showing him. I just go bridleless sometimes when I don't feel like tacking him up.

Palomine- What are you talking about!? I definitely never said bits/bridles were too harsh for my horse. I use them pretty much every time I ride. I'm just gonna ignore your whole post because it has nothing to do with anything.

bsms- Yes, sarcasm. Sorry, sometimes it doesn't translate via text.

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post #30 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:20 PM
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FWIW, someone with over 1500 posts and pictures of her & her horses probably is NOT a troll. It can be hard to fully describe what one does in a few paragraphs of text...

Click on horses next to the OP's post, and check out Dozer...
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Riders ask "How?" Horsemen ask "Why?"
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