Keeping calm when riding a frustrating horse? - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Icrazyaboutu View Post
Muppet- He IS trained to do it. Maybe your horses never test you while riding but mine do. His test yesterday was because he was being lazy and didn't want to trot on the rail. His idea to get out of it was to run at the other horse. Even if I were riding with all the tack on, he still would have tested me. I just would have had the reins to control him more with. His behavior has little to do with the fact that he wasn't tacked up and more to do with his personality.
A horse doesn't decide to test their rider. They don't have the logic to say "I wonder how much I can get away with". A horse decides "I have to listen to this person" or "I do not have to listen to this person". Moment to moment, because they are creatures of the moment. They can develop memories and learn, then call on those memories to help them make a decision in the next moment. "Testing" requires forethought, a plan.

It all boils down to the same problem: a training issue. He may "know" what you want him to do, but he also knows that he doesn't have to listen to you all the time. You're not in charge - that is a position that shifts with each moment and is not something he believes to be absolute.

I think my other advice still stands - build a better working relationship with him, establish yourself as leader and show him you control his feet, then move forward.

I also realized I don't think I answered the original question. When my horse frustrates me, I try to determine the cause for his behavior. Is he (my horse) scared or nervous? Is he just underworked and have too much energy? Is he not understanding? Is he saying 'no'? I try to figure out the motivation behind the behavior and address that. If he's scared, I try to reassure him and build his confidence. If he needs to let out some ya-yas I take him for a run. If he's not understanding, I break whatever it is down into a smaller component. I don't set myself up to win, but rather I set him up for success.
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* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
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post #32 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:29 PM
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It isn't giving up. It's hitting the "reset" button so you can come back to that movement on a different day in a different frame of mind.

If I "worked through" some of my frustrations, I'd've ended up with more frustrations and a very frustrated horse.

....
Looking back on all my moments of frustration, I've been MUCH happier with my response of "ok, let's do something easy and call it a day" than "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! YOU MUST DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!"

... wonder why.
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post #33 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:32 PM
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He's testing you because he doesn't respect you
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post #34 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:35 PM
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Having your haul you around on his back, saddle or no, is not going to be "bonding" to him. That's like your friend saying "Hey, come on over! While your here, clean my bedroom!" It's still WORK, to him.

Horses, sometimes, just have bad brain fart days like we do. I rode a reining gelding that for the life of him, could not figure out to stop that day unless it was in the center of the circle.
I asked, and asked and asked because he KNEW how to stop - but it got to the point with him where he was getting to mentally frustrated, he could barely figure out to how to put one foot in the front of the other. So I asked him some side passes and roll backs and called it day.
Did I "give up" because he didn't do it? No. You have to able to distingush when you are no longer making a positive effect on your horse, and when he's just being an a$$.

You say your horse trained to do it but I'm just not seeing that from your post. I see a horse and rider who need to go back and refresh their communication skills.

I'm a little confused as to what you really wanted out of your orginial post because you've gotten some great replies from good horse people, but you seem to be making excuses...

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post #35 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 04:40 PM
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You are the one that kept going on and on about using nothing to control this horse, so figured you must be into no human made control devices.

Which then leads me to ask, if you know horse would test you, if you had had tack? That should tell you right there that horse is not trained well enough to be on him without tack.

And how is Muppetgirl uneducated? She isn't the one on here asking how to keep calm. You are. And furthermore, horse is not frustrating. He is not well trained enough to be riding with nothing on him, much less in pen with other horses.

And you wanted advice, and yet every one that has posted, you have been short with, or come back with something snippy more often than not.

Your constant "horse knows what to do" doesn't hold air, or you would not have had to slap him and kick him over and over.

I would say this is classic case of horse has owner problems.

Horses make me a better person.
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post #36 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 05:02 PM
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Have you ever been doing a really difficult math problem utilizing a whole new-to-you concept and your brain just goes blank? You're not even sure how to multiply or add now?

There's a word for this mental state that I can't recall, but it is a common occurrence in humans and, of course, animals too. (I'm sure I will remember the word 2 hours from now. Getting old stinks!) When someone is in that state, stress makes it even worse.

These are the times you need to step back and go to an easier task. Success in the easier task rebuilds confidence and the lower task recall links to higher task recall. It's part of how learning works.

On the other hand, if its agression or balking or sour behavior, that is testing your authority and that's when you,,,
1, make the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard
2. Reassert your boundaries
3. Swift sure appropriate level of punishment

OP, you have to decide. I'm sure in your next ride, you will know if you did the right thing because he will be better next time if you did. If you didn't, he will be worse. Then you will need to reconsider your former conclusions. But as one of my favorite HF peeps, bsms said, you shouldn't need to spank a horse more than once a ride.

I'm sure you will figure it out.
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post #37 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by WSArabians View Post
Having your haul you around on his back, saddle or no, is not going to be "bonding" to him. That's like your friend saying "Hey, come on over! While your here, clean my bedroom!" It's still WORK, to him.

Horses, sometimes, just have bad brain fart days like we do. I rode a reining gelding that for the life of him, could not figure out to stop that day unless it was in the center of the circle.
I asked, and asked and asked because he KNEW how to stop - but it got to the point with him where he was getting to mentally frustrated, he could barely figure out to how to put one foot in the front of the other. So I asked him some side passes and roll backs and called it day.
Did I "give up" because he didn't do it? No. You have to able to distingush when you are no longer making a positive effect on your horse, and when he's just being an a$$.
Another example...

My horse occasionally forgets how to canter. Seriously. He's almost 9 and he forgets that a canter is a 3 beat gait and instead believes that it should be a 1 beat gait (aka the Arabian bounce). It's *obnoxious* (but funny) when this happens. I don't run him around the arena repeatedly asking for the canter until he gets it right. I think about how often he's been worked lately, how hard, is it windy, is he scared, etc. Usually, he's bouncy-bouncy because he needs to burn off energy. The solution? I take him to a field and let him run his fool head off for a while. Ya-yas get released, and after that he suddenly knows how to canter again!

Then he decides picking up one lead is a stupid notion, and that only one lead is needed (he can counter canter like nobody's business). What do I do? I work on flexion and supplness on that side for a little bit and then that problem gets "fixed".

In both cases, he knows darn well what I wanted. He still obeyed but also let me know the things he couldn't convey otherwise. He'd still go into his bizarre 1 beat canter-bounce when I asked - he wouldn't ignore me and go into a rushy trot - but he would bounce and let me know he had too much energy. When he wouldn't pick up the correct lead, he would still do the transition, but the reluctance to use both leads let me know one side needed more suppling that day.
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* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
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post #38 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 05:17 PM Thread Starter
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I'm not giving excuses. I never asked for help with my horse's training. Apparently most of you decided to comment on the horse and I rather than tell me what you do to stay calm(which is what this post was asking). So, to answer your question, by making this post, I was expecting to get different ways to clear your head and think logically even when your horse is being a pain. I know its something I struggle with and I have seen many other equestrians struggle with it also. I just wanted some ideas.
And Palomine, when I said that Muppet's uneducated opinion didn't matter to me, I was not calling her uneducated in the aspect of horses. I was calling her uneducated on my horse and me. Two very different things. Muppet, if you took it as me calling you generally uneducated, I'm sorry. That is not what I meant. I am sure you know a lot about horses.
I would really like to get off the topic of my horse and I being undertrained. I rode him bareback and brideless today with my dad's horse in the arena and he did great. Trotted along the fenceline and listened to my cues. He was just being a brat yesterday, like I said.
So please, only contribute if you are putting your calming methods down. I am done defending my horse and I.
Have a nice Easter guys!

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post #39 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 05:17 PM
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How do I deal with frustration. Either stop doing what I'm doing and mellow out by taking deep breaths and completely exhaling or by walking away and mellowing out. Trying to continue when feeling either anger or frustration is futile. Altho you may think you are riding bridless because you aren't using the reins, there is still a mental connection. It's like leaving a halter on when claiming to work the horse at liberty.




Last edited by Saddlebag; 03-31-2013 at 05:20 PM.
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post #40 of 54 Old 03-31-2013, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bsms View Post
Once in a while, Mia will have a day of "You're not the boss of me!", and those rides are never fun.
Off topic but I thought of Mia doing this when I read your post.........

bsms and waresbear like this.

Melinda

Last edited by nvr2many; 03-31-2013 at 05:35 PM.
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