Maddie I'm glad you've sent him to the trainers. But the problem is, a trainer is far more experienced than what you are, and Chinga will pick up on that. If the trainer doesn't back down when Chinga charges, and holds his ground, and really gets it into Chinga's head that the trainer is the boss and CHinga is not to lay so much as a hair on him then that's great, and Chinga may well behave himself for you for a short period of time. But then, as happens when you get a new horse, it starts pushing the boundaries again. And the second you show the slightest weakness towards him, exactly the same process will happen again, and we'll be in for another 10 pages of the same thread as this.
You may want to fight me tooth and claw for saying this, but Chinga is NOT holding you together. Is is causing you immense stress and grief. What WILL hold you together, is a nice, placid horse that loves company and will be your best mate, that you can hop on any time and not have to worry that you're going to get thrown. THAT is a horse that will hold you together.
Maddie so many of us on this forum have already been where you have. Having the horse that is just way above our heads. I have and I am not ashamed in the slightest to admit that I sold that horse. She almost killed me, I was 14 years old, she went for a bronc session and slammed me into a solid steel gate, fell on top of me then proceeded to try and kick me while I was down. Because I put my leg on her and she was in season. And I was absolutely **** scared of that horse afterwards, I wasn't able to walk for 2 weeks, couldn't ride for nearly 2 months and I was terrified. She was lovely on the ground, a real smoocher, and I said the same as you "She's my best friend, I love her and she keeps me together". Well you know what, Sails is now with a talented event rider and doing fantastically, I am a confident rider and now don't have a qualm about getting on breakers and 'problem' horses to sort out. Doesn't bother me at all. If I had kept Sails, I'd say that I would continue to be a nervous wreck around horses, with no confidence in my own abilities and feeling miserable as all hell seeing my friends having fun on their quiet and willing horses. Even if Sails never went through that bucking episode again, I suspect I would ALWAYS have that feeling of nerves on her, and a rider who fears his/her horse enough to not demand from them, is not a rider at all. You will not get anywhere with riding if you have that niggling fear constantly pulling at you, restricting you from doing things. It took me nearly a year to get the confidence to put my leg on a horse to send them forward without hanging off the reins for dear life.
You don't want to go there Maddie, you could be a very good young rider if you put your mind to it, but Chinga is not the horse that will get you there. They say things happen for a reason, and my god, that is the most hounest statement I have heard. At the time, when things are happening, they seem horrible and devastating and you feel like you'll never be happy again. But I tell you, years, maybe even just weeks or months down the track, you will realise that you made the right decision, you will feel a stronger person for it and be able to move on in life.
Please Maddie, you have to realise that Chinga is not a suitable horse for you. Send him to the trainer, get him going to a reasonable standard, then sell him on as an experienced riders horse, maybe as an eventing prospect. Yes, you will bawl your eyes out and think that you have done the wrong thing, but then, when you find 'the' horse, you will look back and realise that you have taken charge of the direction your life is going, decided to be the 'strong' person and really taken control of where you're going.
Coming onto a forum posting multitudes of threads about how perfect and beautiful your horse is, then a day later coming back saying he's nasty and scary, is not going to help you. A forum does NOT send you on your journey through life, it does not help you take control of your life and push yourself through it. In the end, NO BODY can help us, no one can make decisions for us. We are all on this world as individuals and nobody else can help us. They can assist us on our way and try to point us in the right path, as we on this forum are trying to do for you Maddie, but in the end, ultimately it is ourself as an individual who has to help themselves. I used to do the same as you, go crying to everybody I possible could to help me, I felt like I couldn't possible do things on my own and get past it, but when I never got that help I wanted, that IMPOSSIBLE help, I realised that it's every person for him/herself and if I wanted to improve my life and my mental state, I would have to take control and do it on my own.
And now, I haven't looked back, I am a happy, loud and quite charismatic person, get my hands dirty when I can and just lunge at every opportunity with both hands open. A huge change from the withdrawn, nervous wreck I was only a year or two ago.
Maddie, Help yourself and you will feel better for it. It is your decision whether you sell Chinga or not, we cannot decide for you. We have simply given you our opinions and the matter and now we can only sit back and wait to hear the next installment. Whether that is going to make us cringe because you haven't done the 'right' thing, or whether we smile and pat you on the back for taking a step in the right direction, we'll still support you.
Thanks for your advice but I would really like to have a trainer working with him day in day out for 90 days before I make a disision. The plan is that once he is looking 100% sound (Around a week) my instructor will send him to her trainer. Who delt with Billy, who was feral. Reared, kicked, bucked, biting, pig rooting, no ground manners what so ever. After 90 days of work with this trainer and my instructor continuing his work (What I will be doing, supervised by the trainer). Billy is the most amazing school horse ever, I want Chinga to have that chance. With a trainer who has the time, skills and experiance to get him there. He can only come out better, there is nothing to loose in this. The transition from Chinga being worked with the trainer, to me. Will not be rushed, this trainer is responsible, experianced, ect. I know I won't be put back into work with Chinga to early and in all seriousness. If he's to "big" for me at the end of his training then the trainer will have no second thoughts about telling me to sell him. THAT I will listen to, when Chinga's had a real chance.