I'm going to play the other side of the fence here speaking from a coaches point of view.
I suspect there is a reason your coach didn't want you to buy the horse you did. It sounds like you have had some problems with her as it is. Coaches don't tell you to pass over a horse just because they want you to ride theirs. I know I have my students best interest when I am looking for a horse for them.
The saddle thing. Well I have no comment on that.
Buying a horse for your parents. Well your coaches job is to make sure her clients have horses that are going to work for them. Coaches are trained professionals who have an eye for the ideal sort of horse to fit their clients needs. Yes this horse is working out for you, but not consulting your coach makes her think that you don't trust her opinion.
As for working for lessons. Well everyone at our barn helps out and works a few hours a week. Obviously you are getting riding time if she has you riding her horses. She isn't throwing you on a greenie without any instruction. I would take it as a compliment if she wants you to ride green horses and show her own horses. She trusts you and thinks that you are going to reflect well on her and her program.
I suspect that there is just a lot of teenage hormone fueled emotions going on in this situation.
We didn't know who she was when we got my horse. I've only had a few problems, and they only just started after 6 years.
She has also been trying to push her horses onto us. A gaited spotted saddle horse, and a untrained paint 4 year old. Every week she hints at us to get these horses, which we did not want, we've told her so. We don't want a gaited horse, and we don't want an untrained horse. It's not that we don't trust her opinion, we just didn't feel a need to get her consulting. But crying over it and ignoring us is not professional.
I don't mind working for my lessons, but I've been working for 2 years, two days a week for only 30 minute riding lessons (or no lesson at all) that turn into training lessons. I would like to ride on a school horse that knows what it's doing so that I can just focus on my EQ.
I don't mind showing her horses, but I've never shown before. I would like to have my first show on a horse that I trust and have worked with for a long time. What I don't like, is her putting her horses first and not mine. The only reason I want to show is because of my horse and she's just acting like my horse doesn't matter anymore.
But I do understand where you're coming from. (: And it's true that I am a teenager with hormones. But she's keeping me from doing things that I would like to do, and it's frustrating.