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post #31 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 12:51 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northwest Florida
Posts: 4,370
• Horses: 4
I started to put the toilet seat down, but decided to leave it up since the wife was constantly complaining all day. When low and behold she woke up around 1am to go to the water closet and I smile as I hear the doosh of her toosh. It was a nice shot at her for all the pestering she did all day.. lol

I think she may have put something in my sandwich for lunch today because I feel this funny feeling in my belly now.

I am Second
Born Once, Die Twice. Born Twice, Die Once.
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post #32 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 01:43 PM
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,358
• Horses: 4
Wow this thread cracks me up!
I'm sure I do NOTHING to bother DH and I hope he doesn't read the doosh of the toosh comment LOL.

He was my night in shining armor this weekend when my tire went flat in the driveway and didn't even get mad when I yelled at him because it went flat. He just looked at me like I had three heads and moved on with his task.
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post #33 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:01 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,918
• Horses: 2
Wouldn't sell my hubby for a million dollars but after 16yrs there are still days I wonder if he has more than 3 brain cells.

He will do ANYTHING *at work*. Employers loooooove him because he takes dependable and responsible to whole new levels. Getting him a job though... I about killed him. He was offered a job by the dad of the kiddos I do daycare for... all he had to do was fill out a few reams of paper, take a drug test, a driving test, get copies of his MVR, his health cert and prove he has a commercial license. 5 minutes into his giant whine fest I figured I could kill him or do it myself. So the dude took his drug test and a driving test and the rest..... that would be me, including gathering it all up and faxing the entire pile to HR!

Now had this actually been *at work* he would have had it done in 10minutes but at home? Oh gee... he can't find a pen, he doesn't *like* this pen, the kids are loud, the dog is pestering him, the DMV is taking way too long to answer their phone and on and on and on..... GAH!!!! You absolutely hate your job, you're being offered a near dream job, just fill out the papers and be done with it!

I will say though, he's learned that I am not him and I will never be him so he has to make this farm do-able by me. So while *he* would mow, feed, plow with the gigantic, horrifically insane thing he calls a tractor, he bought me a ride-on mower and a 4wheeler.

What I want to know is WTH does HE get the credit for our farm. Everyone stops by and goes "Oh, your place is SO lovely, your husband does such a great job!!". ??!!! That would be ME!!! He's gone 16+ hours a day, he sure as heck isn't mowing, feeding, fencing or weeding!
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post #34 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:01 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 5,801
• Horses: 0
Originally Posted by apachiedragon View Post
I am married to one of those "start a billion projects, finish none" handyman types. Some days I want to pull my hair out. For example, my barn was built 11 years ago, I still don't have a back door. And the front door has been broken for 6 months. Two of my three pastures have partial fencing, the third that I actually use has one place that is held together by a come-along instead of nails, and has been that way for a year. (thankfully, the wire overlaps there and so is not an escape hazard.) My favorite though, is if I remind him of something once I'm nagging and I get "I KNOW! You've told me a dozen times", but if I don't remind him I get "WHY didn't you remind me? I'd have it done by now!" Sure babes, whatever helps you sleep at night...or during the day...or every time you sit down for 5 minutes....
Yours has GOT to be the twin of mine. ......*sigh*
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post #35 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:17 PM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 15,433
• Horses: 2
Just saw this, I think it fits here somehow.

If you are going to be the woman on the ranch, here are the top 10 "facts" you need to know!

1. Always load your horse last in the trailer so it is the first one
unloaded. By the time he's got his horse unloaded, you will have
your cinch pulled and be mounted up ready to go - lessening the
chance of him riding off without you with your horse trying to
follow while you are still trying to get your foot in the stirrup.

2. Never - and I repeat never - ever believe the phrase "We'll be
right back," when he has asked you to help him do something out on the ranch. The echoing words, "this will only take a little while" have filtered through generations of ranch wives and still today should invoke sincere distrust in the woman who hears them.

3. Always know there is NO romantic intention when he pleadingly asks you to take a ride in the pickup with him around the ranch while he checks waters and looks at cattle. What that sweet request really means is he wants someone to open and close the gates.

4. He will always expect you to quickly be able to find one stray in a four-section brush-covered pasture, but he will never be able to find the mayonnaise jar in four-square feet of refrigerator.

5. Count every head of everything you see - cattle especially, but
sometimes horses, deer, quail or whatever moves. Count it in the gate, out the gate or on the horizon. The first time you don't count is when he will have expected that you did. That blank eyelash-batting look you give him when he asks "How many?" will not be acceptable.

6. Know that you will never be able to ride a horse or drive a pickup to suit him. Given the choice of jobs, choose throwing the feed off the back of the pickup. If he is on the back and you are driving, the opportunity for constant criticism of speed, ability and your eyesight will be utilized to the full extent. "How in the *@*# could you NOT see that hole?"

7. Never let yourself be on foot in the alley when he is sorting cattle horseback. When he has shoved 20 head of running, bucking, kicking yearlings at you and then hollers "Hold 'em, hold 'em" at the top of his lungs, don't think that you really can do it without loss of life or limb. Contrary to what he will lead you to believe, walking back to the house is always an option that has been used throughout time.

8. Don't expect him to correctly close the snap-on tops on the plastic refrigerator containers, but know he will expect you to always close every gate. His reasoning, the cows will get out; the food will not.

9. Always praise him when he helps in the kitchen - the very same way he does when you help with the ranch work - or not.

10. Know that when you step out of the house you move from the "wife" department to "hired hand" status. Although the word "hired" indicates there will be a paycheck that you will never see, rest assured you will have job security. The price is just right. And most of the time you will be "the best help he has" even if it is because you are the ONLY help he has.
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post #36 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:32 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SE TN
Posts: 5,047
• Horses: 3
Whew, you ladies are sure wound up over all this...

One of the secrets to a long marriage is a lot of forgiveness......

When I get angry at my wife I try to think of what life would be like without her.

Then I realize how much I'd miss all the little things that seem to tick me off, which makes me realize, how lucky I am to have her.

She's like my left hand, but I will admit, there are times when my right hand doesn't know what my left hand is doing..

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
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post #37 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:35 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 2,061
• Horses: 1
Hey Girls, take it easy. If you are lucky enough to have a horse and a dog and a man in your life - then just how blessed can a girl be! And if the man in your life is a horse and dog lover, who can actually ride a horse then ‘My Oh My’ you’ve got your blessings in gold leaf. As we have debated on many a time, there aren’t too many of the animal and horse loving sort of males to be found.

Think of it, how could you actually train a man to be like your own. Yes, I am sure that if you tack him up with a surcingle and give him a whack or two with the whip, you can get him to run round in circles but you’ll never teach him humility or even obedience. And then, anyway, if he did obey too readily, then you’d soon get bored.

My wife has had me for almost fifty years and I am reasonably sure she’d not take on another fella at her age. Anyway I am positive she’d faint at the thought of rechooling yet another handsome, bearded, bow legged, bespeccled, bald, hairy, charming, intelligent, humorous, broad minded, sexy bloke like me - that’s if she could ever find one similar.

And mutually over a lifetime together we hold so many good memories of horses and dogs along with a few sad ones.

I’ve always believed in the expression: 'the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t yet know'.

My dearest beloved is not exactly the placid sort but she can ride a horse and run a household, so more what can I ask for? This ‘living together concept’ is always a two way deal - or it don’t last.

Anyway, my Missus, an Essex Girl to her finger tips, is my only one true friend in this life and I sincerely hope (and believe) that is how she sees me.

Last edited by xxBarry Godden; 05-28-2013 at 02:42 PM.
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post #38 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:37 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 4,780
• Horses: 6
Number 2, GH! I have heard, "Just need to run to/by TSC/Lowe's Home Depot (all are 15 min away) for ONE thing and then I'll be back/home." Wanders in hours later, and occasionally without the thing he went after in the first place. But sometimes with plenty of other junk he doesn't need, lol. And with no time left in the day to finish whatever it was he went to the store for anyway.

ETA, I wouldn't trade him, but some days I'd like to give him away for a while, lmao

"Keep a leg on each side and your mind in the middle"
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post #39 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:45 PM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 15,433
• Horses: 2
Number #2, "The tractor and seeder are stuck, could you give us a hand for half an hour or so"

SEVEN freaking hours it took to get that %$&()( out of the mud, and my input, very minimal, hooking up chains, and moving stuff, so could of been riding instead

#3 Regular, if he wants me to go, there is a reason

#4, OH YES, or a wrench in whichever workshop or truck it is supposed to be in. While we are at it, until you can recognize a 5ml measuring spoon at 30' do not sound incredulous that I have to read the numbers on the wrenches instead of magically knowing which one is a 5/16ths.

#5, is a habit, count, how many acres has he seeded, has the next door neighbor seeded, tractors I saw moving, plants per sq inch growing, the temp, moisture etc on both farms.
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post #40 of 106 Old 05-28-2013, 02:49 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: southern Arizona
Posts: 12,111
• Horses: 4
Golly! I guess when my perfect wife asks to borrow my keys because she can't find hers, I'll unload on her. Or maybe we can fight over the boxes of stuff put in the garage 8 years ago, that I want to throw out and that she thinks needs to be saved even though she doesn't remember what was in them and we've gone without for 8+ years. Or maybe I'll be too busy cleaning up the horse poop of our 3 horses, only one of whom is ridden regularly (mine).

Oh well. She doesn't jump in my chili too often anymore, and I guess I'll not jump in hers...
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Riders ask "How?" Horsemen ask "Why?"
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