Please help. I really don't know what to do - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 5 Old 10-10-2010, 12:23 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 670
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Please help. I really don't know what to do

I've had quite a few threads about my sister, her filly, and the fact that nobody's horses on the property except mine gets worked. But this time...I'm so stressed out and worried about it that I am just at my wit's end.

So my sister has this 2 year old filly, Lily. She doesn't come see her. She doesn't train her or work with her or even get her out and walk or groom her. My sister doesn't live here; just keeps her horse here. The only times she "gets around" to seeing her own horse are glances through the back window of the house (when she's here occasionally) out into the paddock, or going up to the fence and petting Lily, then leaving. There's nothing I can do about it; I've learned not to complain.

Now today, my sister was here, and she said something like: "You guys better get used to it; we (her and her bf) are bringing more horses here." You have no idea how ****ed off I was. How ****ed I still am. So I said to her, civilly, not rudely or yelling: "Why are you bringing more horses home when you don't even work with Lily?" My sister then proceeded to ask accusingly: "Why don't you ever ride your horse?" Why don't I ride her? SHE'S LAME. I CAN'T RIDE HER. When I explained this, my sister then accused me of lying because she said she's seen Tango running around in the paddock before without a limp. Ok, well, before I get completely off topic and you get bored because it's just a sister-on-sister catfight, I'll just say that this went on for quite a while.

I went back out to the barn afterwards to keep cleaning stalls (yes, stalls that HER horse goes in, you're very welcome dear sister), and mom must've talked to her or something, because she (sister) came out and was suspiciously nice. She tried to explain, and said: "We only want Lily so we can get a baby out of her." You know why they want a baby out of her? Because the bf has a stallion that is the same shade of bay as Lily, and they want to breed them D=<
I said in response: "Well why don't you train her? She'll be worth more." (She's not going to be worth anything either way.)
Sister: "We never have the time. We both work and it's too far to drive out from town every day."
Me: "Then send her away for training."
Sister: "Well we don't have like, $3000 to pay for someone to break her."
Me: (If they don't have the time or the money for the horse they do have) "Then what do you need a baby for?"
It took her a second to reply, but finally she said: "Well in like, 2 years when we have our own house, we'll have time for the baby."
Uh-huh. Interesting. Well, let me tell you that I know for a fact that they will NOT be able to afford a farm in 2 years (they're like, 19, and still spend their money on sh*t like booze and cars and stuff like that)-they don't even have money now; they come home every week asking mom or dad or go to grandma for money. I know for a fact they will NOT do anything with the baby, and it'll sit here, joining Lily and my dad's three horses as useless, half-feral pasture ornaments, and it'll be us who pays for feed, farrier, vet, training etc, just like we always have with Lily.

So I hope it's understandable why I don't want her to bring any more horses. It ****es me off so f***ing much that it's me, the only person who uses their horse, who's not allowed to get another one. I wouldn't even mind them collecting horses if we had more than 6 acres. As it is, every paddock is grazed bare. The horses have to eat hay; there's no grass to spare. Of course, it wouldn't be realistic to "ask" to move to a bigger farm. That would just be ridiculous. (Yet, there's my sister when I said that to her who said: "Well then, get a bigger property.")

Probably the worst thing though, is that the bf has a stallion, and if they are planning on moving all his horses from his parents' farm to here, then the stallion will be coming with them. It's probably the worst thing that could happen. A stallion, on 6 acres, with 5+ mares running around, with fences that wouldn't keep out/in a horse dead set on getting out of them. Not good in any kind of situation.

It's just that I work so hard to keep the barn clean, to keep Tango and Lily's paddock in good shape, to keep my horse healthy, and if I had to be taking care of my horse, plus all of my sister's, plus have a STALLION around here, and all the other retarded sh*t that would happen, well, I couldn't do it. I'm so stressed out. I really don't know what to do. Mom and dad won't say no to her, and she sure as hell won't listen to me..What should I do? It seems like there's no way out of this. The feeling of being trapped with no escape is really...not a good one.

ilyTango is offline  
post #2 of 5 Old 10-10-2010, 01:30 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 4,863
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Stop doing anything for her horses. You said Lily uses a stall, why? If she has a warm rug chances are she doesn't need one. Do you bring her in? Leave her horse out there and when her feet are due, or she needs a dentist or anything just send her an email that she needs to arrange to have it done. If she has to come out and catch a horse that hasn't been handled in weeks/months she might change her mind about wanting more.

Print of some information about keeping stallions and give it to your parents (if its their property). Make sure there is information about feeding, vet bills for pregnant mares etc. Show them information about pasture management so they'll know they need to feed extra feed to horses. Make it clear you will not be responsible for her horses and that if Lily doesn't care for the horse then it is up to your parents to. Maybe they'll realise its not a good idea. If they are the ones responsible then its up to them.

Just don't bother yourself with the other horses. If they are neglected (feed, farrier) then email your sister a few times, maybe with pictures or information about horse laws etc. Just don't make it your problem.

Its harsh, but you don't want responsibility of her horses. If they have a stallion you don't want responsibility over that either.
Saskia is offline  
post #3 of 5 Old 10-10-2010, 02:46 AM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 2,348
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I completely agree with Saskia - stop doing her chores for her. Unless she's paying you to do them, which I can guarantee from your post, she isn't.
Carleen is offline  
post #4 of 5 Old 10-10-2010, 03:38 AM
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,267
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I agree with Saskia as well. Then if your sister doesn't make arrangements to have them cared for, I would then speak to my parents. They may feel a little differently about your sister bringing in more horses when they aren't magically cared for.
sandy2u1 is offline  
post #5 of 5 Old 10-10-2010, 11:18 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 670
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My parents don't give a sh*t either way, apparently. Because I have a horse (ONE, not the 3 billion sister wants), my sister will be able to use the excuse: "Well SHE has a horse! Why does SHE get to keep her horse here?" and guilt them into letting her bring more. (You have a horse too, sister, if you failed to notice-one you do nothing with.)

Thanks for the advice. It's so hard to knowingly neglect an animal that I feel compelled to take care of...but I hope so much that it will work when she finally does bring more home. Even though it's unlikely my parents will do anything, I'm going to have to talk to them. This is just ridiculous if she thinks she can cram more horses in here.

ilyTango is offline  

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