Rant... of the joys of others riding your horse - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 02:28 PM Thread Starter
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Rant... of the joys of others riding your horse

So... I ride pretty much 5-6 days a week, but on Saturdays I do a long trail ride, either alone or with friends, and we usually will cover about 15-20 or so miles. Now, Ive owned my mare for a few years now, but my family has never shown any interested in horses, such as; my sister has rode her maybe 3 times in the about 4 years I have owned Legend. When my sister showed some interest in coming on a trail ride one day I jumped at the oppurtunity to bring her along and possibly start her down the road for loving equines. I told her she could ride my horse while I rode a friends horse. My sister told me she would feel more comfortable in my western saddle, rather than my English saddle so I put her in the western saddle on Legend. I have had this Western saddle for say... 1 year, and in that time Ive owned it I can think of about one time I have rode in it. Before I bought it I made sure it fit my mare, and when my sister decided to start riding with me I had it checked once more, to see if it still fit my little girl. It did. I had my English saddle checked to fit my mare, and I have NEVER had any problems with it rubbing, or causing a sore back and etc, But I noticed that after my sister started going on these weekly rides in the Western saddle, that my horses hair on her back was starting to be rubbed off. Ill fitting saddle was my first thought, but I literally had it checked one month ago. I told my sister that the saddle was rubbing hair off my horses back, and she lost it on me. She told me Im just being selfish, and that I dont want her riding Legend, she told me Im crazy and that the horse is just fine. Now, for the bridle >

I usually ride Legend in a sidepull, as she is JUST as soft in a sidepull as in any other bit, so I see no use in riding with a bit every ride, and when I put my sister on her I made her ride in the sidepull too. As I do everyone begginer. First ride together went fine, then... One day I was tacking up, and I slipped in Legends snaffle, and my sister seen, and about went ballistic on me. She was SO ****ed that I rode in a bit and I wouldnt let her. Now, I ride in a bit about 1 time to every ten times I ride with a sidepull, I like her to be responsive and soft in a bit or bitless bridle, and I dont like putting begginer riders on her in a bit, and she relies heavily upon her hands when riding. So my sister totally freaked out on me that I could ride in a bit and I wouldnt let her. I asked her why and she said "Because you do, and everyone else rides in a bit" GAH!

So now, Im about up to here with it all. I dont think Im being selfish, I honestly like it when she comes riding, and I dont mind at all when she rides Legend either, but apprently I think Im better than everyone because I wont let her ride in a bit, and that Im a crazy obsessive horse owner. NO NO NO. Maybe I am in the wrong, I dont know. But Im really tired of all of this... This is why when someone asks me to ride Legend I usually politely say no. But shes my sister... I dont know what to do. She cares about this - much about the horse, she goes only to socialize with others, and sure, whatever, thats fine I guess. And if I express any concern about Legend Im being selfish. Am I being wrong? Maybe I AM being overly protective with the horse, and it comes across as selfish, rude, and crazy.

I've come to the conclusion that Im going to have the saddle checked once more, and if the saddle still seems to be fitting, I will try out a thinner/thicker saddle pad, and Ill take my sister into TSC and let her pick out a bridle she likes, and put her in a french link snaffle if she must ride in a bit. Im not trying to stop her from riding, at all. And I think thats what she believes Im doing. I want to keep her interested in horses/riding if at all possible...

Anyway... end of super long rant, sorry.
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post #2 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 03:01 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
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Tell your sister exactly what you just said. That you know she hasn't ridden in a while and like to have people like your sister ride in a sidepull (and also say you rarely ride in a bit anyways). Say you just want to do what is best for your horse.

“Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their *** and do anything to make it happen.” - Unknown
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post #3 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Legend View Post
. I want to keep her interested in horses/riding if at all possible...

Why? I wouldn't want her to. She sounds as if she would give me a headache.
And no you aren't being selfish. You are the one who has to look out for your horses well being.

Just DO it and be happy that you can!
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post #4 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 04:19 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Its your horse and she needs to use the gear that you provide. Period. Why should you spend more money on tack when what you have is perfectly acceptable for the horse and what the horse is used to. I would have the saddle fit checked and a new pad would probably help in the meantime.

If she wants to be like everyone else, let her get a horse and her own tack...

This coming from an owner of 4 horses that NO ONE tells me what to do with them when they are getting to ride them. In fact, I dont' normally let anyone ride that hasn't had a number of lessons at my house before we even go anywhere...
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post #5 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 04:31 PM
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That's ludicrous. If my sister ever pulled something like that, she'd be off my horse. Period. It's my horse, if I want it ridden in a tutu, it gets ridden in a tutu. If my sister doesn't want to ride in a tutu, she doesn't ride.

It's your horse, you put in the money to keep it. You have clearly put in a lot of time and effort to train it and have her going nicely enough that your beginner rider sister can handle her in a sidepull. You get to decide what tack the horse wears, in the best interests of the horse, not your sisters ego.
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post #6 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 08:05 PM
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is this an older sister? she seems to feel afronted by your having the control of this situation, so it made me guess that she is older and thus think she should be in control.

Anyway, tell her that using a bit is a privilidge that must be earned. If she can demonstrate a soft hand, she can have a bit. What others ride in matters not. This is your horse, and you've worked hard to preserve her mouth as soft as possible. it's for the horse's sake, not your's.
Make it a winnable honor (the right to use a bit) and explaing as exactly as possible what she would need to do to gain that right.
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post #7 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 09:26 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Western Pennsylvania
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My horse gets ridden on my terms by either total beginners who are willing to listen (NOT my boyfriend anymore u nless he changes and wants to listen) and those who's experience level matches or surpasses mine with the same training/handling/riding ideals.

There is no in between, at all. I ride much more often and I know the horse..I put Alahna in a hack for my friend Kat and boyfriend. I tossed a loose tiedown on to make sure they didn't get smacked in the face because she started out (when I bought her saturday) with deciding to throw her head all the way up to your face.

Her face/mouth will NOT get yanked on unless it is a sideways motion to get her attention (she kept trying to go up to the stalled horses..and she's still on quarantine). She will NOT get kicked unless I tell you to..and if I tell you to, you had better kick as hard as you can and make her MOVE.

If I didn't think someone would listen, they aren't going to get on until they decide they will. If they still don't, I will yank them right off, mid walk/trot. If you refuse to listen, I don't care if I hurt you by taking you off or not.

My suggestion is..let her know that even you rarely ride in a bit. If she can't ride in a sidepull, then she doesn't ride. Unless she wants to fork out hundreds and get lessons on how to properly ride and use a bit. That's all. If she really wants to ride she can learn the right way. It doesn't sound like she wants to ride, it sounds like she is using you/your property to socialize.
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post #8 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 11:41 PM
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Location: Arizona
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In the end, the horse is yours. If she wants to ride in a bit, if she wants to ride any other way than you tell her to on YOUR horse, if she's going to act selfish and treat you badly because you care about your horse, she doesn't have to ride him at all. That's exactly what I would tell her. These are the rules you set, and if she doesn't want to follow them, she can stop riding or find someone else to give her a horse to ride. End of story. You're not wrong at all, putting your horse's comfort before her feelings. I wouldn't want someone riding my horse that can't show any respect for me or my horse anyway, family or not...
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post #9 of 18 Old 03-02-2013, 12:54 AM
Green Broke
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I was going to guess young sister. The way she is acting I would not think she was very old or mature.

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post #10 of 18 Old 03-12-2013, 08:02 PM Thread Starter
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Oh my, everyones comments were music to my ears <3 Tiny, you are correct, she is a older sister, and me having charge over her in one tiny aspect of life does seem to irritate the life out of her.

I finally sat down with her the other day and told her that I buy everything for this horse, I train her, I take care of the vet bill, and having her wrecked just because you want to ride once a week with tack that is not working out, and a rider who doesnt care about the horse will not be happening.

She hasnt rode since. And, you know what... more power to her. Im so tired of it
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