REALLY Annoying Me, Just Want to Rant - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 31 Old 10-18-2019, 11:48 PM Thread Starter
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REALLY Annoying Me, Just Want to Rant

The mods can delete this if I did something wrong here, but I'm just super mad right now and I need to tell people about this; writing to my journal about this is not at all satisfying and my parents just don't get it.

My newly mostly permanent horse, who I'll be showing with until at least the 2020 season (And hopefully after!), is a big, sweet, loveable gelding. Riding him feels like I just put in the missing puzzle piece to a bridge I was making, finally connecting the two sides. He gives me so much confidence and makes me feel good in my riding again. Even though I haven't been riding him long, he means so much to me already. But, he's blind in one eye. As in, he doesn't have an eye. (Well, he has a glass eye, and his eyelids are sewn over it.)

Because I'm showing him, and I've never been in the ring with another horse when I'm on him, the trainer put us into a group lesson. I got there a little later than usual, but because the weather has been horrible lately, he was in his stall, so he just needed a light currying, dandy, and a hoof brush. So I put him on the crossties farthest towards the back and start grooming him.

One of the other girls' mothers was feeding each horse a cookie before they were tacked up. She comes back to my horse, all smiles, and calls his name. I was on his blind - right - side, and he likes to 'look' at you, as in he cranes his head. So she doesn't see his eye. He turns around to look at her, and she kinda falters. She pets him, WITH THE TREAT IN HER HAND, and walks away, looking mildly disturbed.

But I kinda shake that off. I get it. Seeing a horse without an eye, especially when you're used to horses with both eyes, can be perturbing. I was mostly annoyed because she teased him with a treat, but, still. I give him one of his post-ride treats instead.

When I went to get my saddle, I passed her talking with the other mother. They were talking about him. It wasn't like, "Oh it's so neat that he's missing an eye! I've never seen that before!" It was, "I can't believe they'd let a blind horse into the ring with [Daughter]." And other comments like that. They also made a comment on me, which was something like, "I heard she hasn't even been riding that long, and she's riding a blind horse like that?" or something along those lines. I tried brushing that off, like, okay. Yeah. A parent is concerned because there will be a horse with a strange condition with their daughter.

But then, after a little bit more loving on him, I go and get his bridle. In which I hear the OTHER MOTHER, who hasn't even approached him goes, "Wouldn't be surprised if he was a hazard. Poor thing should've been put down when they took out the eye."

...

You wanna talk hazardous horses, Lady?

Your daughter's horse has flipped over on her no less than five times. (That I'm aware of.) He's bucked off 2/3 of our trainers AND YOUR DAUGHTER. One of those trainers he's kicked multiple times. This morning, he almost kicked her in the head when she went to give him his breakfast. He takes strong cues at home, and a crop is required to ride him.

You wanna know what my horse does? Responds to the slightest seat and leg pressure. Since he's been at the barn, he has not nipped, kicked, or even pinned his ears at a single person. And just because he's missing an eye, suddenly he's a hazard and needs to be euthanized?

Don't even get me started on what she was actually doing during the lesson. She was purposely trying to spook him. When we'd pass her, every time, without fail, she'd make a loud, sudden noise ON HIS BLIND SIDE. Her excuse was, "Oh I was on the phone." Sure. Being on the phone requires loud yelping and laughing. Eventually, my mom was like, "Can you please take the call outside? The girls need to focus."

They both quickly untacked, put their horses away and rushed out of the barn. My boy got lots of loving, pets, kisses and treats. He worked, harder, flashier and faster than both of the girl's horses. We were talked to the least. AND I shoved into his strong side, which my trainer likes to call "The Beast".

I'm sorry this was so long, but getting it off my chest feels great. Amazing actually. Please do not judge a horse on looks alone. Not everything was exact quotes because I was more focused on him. But it gives you the general gist. I'm not a very confrontational person, so I just kinda brushed it off as 'Worried Parents', but even being worried parents does not give them the excuse to say that a horse that they've never seen worked, needs to be put down.

Stay Calm - Ride a Friesian!
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post #2 of 31 Old 10-18-2019, 11:51 PM Thread Starter
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Again, I apologize for the long post and if I didn't explain things great. I was just really worked up. I'm sure my grammar and storytelling suffered because of it.

Stay Calm - Ride a Friesian!
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post #3 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 12:19 AM
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The horse world is full of horses, strong opinions, and people that like to express them whether you want to hear them or not. It sounds like you handled this obnoxious situation pretty well. Stay focused on you and your horse. Keep going out there, working hard, and enjoying yourself. That's the best way to get through these situations.
loosie, Walkamile, keelan and 12 others like this.
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post #4 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 12:58 AM
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My first and second horses were Arabians in stock horse country. I heard quite a few comments that upset me. Then I realized that my horse only has to please one person......ME. They don't have to please anyone else! The people who say the meanest things are usually the ones who have problems with their own horses. My Arabians took good care of me and I rode them everywhere, often by myself.

That said.......maybe you can mention it to your trainer, riding instructor, or whomever gives the lessons and they can set these ladies straight?
loosie, keelan, AnitaAnne and 6 others like this.

There's a lot of stupid out there!
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post #5 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 01:23 AM Thread Starter
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Oh, they're well aware. He can hear through the Alexa in the main barn. Which they were standing right next to! But I wouldn't wish his wrath on anyone! He doesn't stand for any big barn drama and cares about those horses like they are his children (All 50!) so I'm sure once he hears it, there's going to be some big fireworks. But I'm sure, if anything, I won't be in a group lesson with them anytime soon.

I wish my old lesson buddy would come back, but she's at boarding school a state over. Lessons with her are so much fun! I miss riding with her ansty saddlebred.
loosie and AnitaAnne like this.

Stay Calm - Ride a Friesian!
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post #6 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 04:01 AM
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You can lead a (wo)man to knowledge but you can't make them think!

If I had my wits about me, I would have burst out laughing & said 'oh that seriously takes the cake!' As I walked past shaking my head.

Neighbours where I used to live had 'show ponies' (who were always seriously obese & rugged to the hilt - one was put down because of laminitis before we moved) and she'd be out there twice a day, scowl on face, whip in hand, lunging them in endless circles with side reins &... whatever those bum tucking harnesses are. She'd give me a dirty look whenever I rode past with my kids & I thought it was because we were distracting her precious ponies.

One day she saw fit to come & tell me what was what tho. It wasn't that I was disrupting her 'business' going past, but that I was being dangerous & irresponsible to ride out in public with my kids and that we didn't even have bits & tie downs on out horses to be able to control them. I do believe my jaw dropped & I was stunned to silence for a minute. But I think I said something like... it takes consideration for the horse and mutual respect to ride horses out safely, unlike restricting them with straps & keeping to the arena. I remember I was quite proud of myself because I usually get flustered when confronted & only think of good comebacks after the event...
Walkamile, waresbear, Blue and 5 others like this.

Some info I've found helpful; [COLOR=Lime][B]www.horseforum.com/horse-health/hoof-lameness-info-horse-owners-89836/
For taking critique pics; [COLOR=Lime][B]https://www.horseforum.com/members/41...res-128437.jpg
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post #7 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 04:11 AM
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Trailhorserider my first horse was Arab & I too got used to derogatory assumptions about them. But the funniest was a farrier who watched me canter up with a bit of bales twine around his neck for control & shook his head & told me to never trust a pally or a buckskin!

Some info I've found helpful; [COLOR=Lime][B]www.horseforum.com/horse-health/hoof-lameness-info-horse-owners-89836/
For taking critique pics; [COLOR=Lime][B]https://www.horseforum.com/members/41...res-128437.jpg
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post #8 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 04:46 AM
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Honestly, they don't have an excuse for being weird about a horse with one eye. Especially since he's got a glass eye. At our riding program, we've got a pony with one eye - as in there's nothing there. NO ONE has been weird about it - no one has batted an eye at him, including the clueless parents, aunts, and uncles that come along to see their kids. None of the kids have complained about riding him or riding in the same ring as him. And none of the parents have thought of him as a hazard, either.

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post #9 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 06:33 AM
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Well, opinions are like anuses - everyone’s got one.



(I am not sure if we are allowed to say that word, sorry if we aren’t).
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post #10 of 31 Old 10-19-2019, 06:55 AM
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I think it's very appropriate to post about issues like this. It happens a lot, and it's really difficult when you can't confront the people who are being rude. Your horse was discriminated against for a really stupid reason. I think it had more to do with the 'clique' than your horse. You were the competition of the day. That one mom who was making noise? Probably looking for an excuse to say that her daughter's horse or riding is not 'the worst in the barn'. This elitist/groupthink crud is the type of attitude that really needs to end around horse kids. It's truly shameful and immature of the parents. I'd be angry too. You set out with a goal for the day, and you were ready to constructively test your horse in a group setting. And all that you received was a bunch of foolishness and disrespect from people who you might expect to behave better. But y'know who took care of you? Your superstar gelding. Sounds like he did all the talking you'd ever need. He's much more worth your attention than any of those dingbats.
@loosie I always find coloration 'doomsaying' hilarious. 'Yessir, I suffer from the horse with 4 white socks and a white nose!' Still waiting - when's that doom supposed to come along?

No diet, no hoof. No hoof, no horse. No horse is not an option!
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