This really upsets me... - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 26 Old 06-05-2009, 09:57 PM Thread Starter
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This really upsets me...

Why is it that riders who are overweight get looked down upon? I mean I have been told by my trainer and other people that I am a fantastic horse person and rider. But it feels like a lot of people don't think im good enough just because I don't weight 150lbs. I weigh 260 easy, I am tall (5'11) and I have a big bone structure. Even when I do lost the weight Im trying to lose, I will never be a stick, I will be a good 200lbs, and thats considered a healthy weight for my body type. And it makes me feel really bad about myself when I hear the giggles, or get marked down in a class because of my weight. Why can't everyone just be treated equally?

I have seriously considered giving up horses in the past because sometimes I just don't feel like I belong...

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post #2 of 26 Old 06-05-2009, 10:20 PM
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The sad, honest truth is that there are JERKS out there and unfortunately, *no offense to people in this forum because I'm highly impressed*, many of them reside in the horse world. There are people out there who will find anything they CAN to make fun of someone else because they have insecurities and it makes them feel like a bigger person (rolling eyes). I used to get teased for being tall and skinny! See? Anything they can get their hands on. I call them Toxic People... or Parasites. They intrude on the things that make us happy. You will learn (I'm still learning) to ignore these people because they REALLY DON'T MATTER. Don't let them win. Don't let them take anything away from you that makes you happy. Never be the victim. Next time they giggle, let out a smile because they're only proving that you are so much better than them.
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post #3 of 26 Old 06-05-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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Im sorry but i just want to ask a question, have they told you that you got marked down because your overweight ?

I have judged hacking and i would never mark someone down based on appearance, its purely on how you ride if your ride well then you get marked well.

I know there are judges out there that arnt fair, but ive never heard of something like this
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post #4 of 26 Old 06-06-2009, 12:46 AM
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I'm sorry you have to go through that. I don't do competitions or anything and don't have to deal with that...but I do have my own inner demons to deal with as I am overweight too. I feel sorry for my horse for having to carry me around when most horses only have to carry an average size rider. Perfect Browbands.....I am glad you judge people by their performance, but a lot of people judge others on appearances. We talk about all kinds of prejudices in the world, but I think that is one that is often overlooked. I think you should be very proud of yourself though. At least you have the courage to get up there and ride! I don't even have that at this point. Good for you!!!! Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love!!!!! There are a lot of skinny people who can't do what you do....remember that!
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post #5 of 26 Old 06-06-2009, 11:27 AM
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What makes you think that you got marked down in a class for your weight?
Anyways, people will laugh at you for anything. I get laughed at for being short. I used to get teased when I rode bigger horses because my legs didn't go past the saddle flap...

Every ride, good or bad, teaches you something new.
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post #6 of 26 Old 06-06-2009, 11:30 AM
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Like BackInTheSaddle said, some people are just insecure jerks that need to find something, anything, about another person to make fun of to make themselves feel better. I am only a tad overweight, but sometimes I feel absolutely huge. See, I LIVE with one of those people. My younger sister by a year is very pretty and very in shape, and is the biggest b*tch you're ever going to meet. She's vain, selfish, mean, and unsympathetic. She calls me all sorts of names, usually unprovoked, just to get a reaction out of me, just to make me feel like sh*t. Because underneath that pretty face is a little girl who feels insecure and feels like the only way to help that is to make others feel worse. Not that she deserves any sympathy for that. But just so you know, no matter what you looks like people like that will find ANYTHING to use against you.

Don't ever think of giving up something you love because of what others say. They just aren't worth your time. It's easier said than done, and I battle with self confidence issues and anxiety attacks daily. But you just have to keep you chin up and keep reminding yourself that you are an amazing person, and a great rider with a passion for riding and horses that none of those people will ever have or comprehend.

I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it
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post #7 of 26 Old 06-06-2009, 02:05 PM
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Some people are just ignorant ****s. EVERYONE, no MATTER there weight, no matter their height, gender, or race, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE. Everyone has the chance to be an incredible rider.

Though, I will say I have turned down a sale because of the buyers weight. Not because I'm cruel hearted and mean, but because it would have caused the horse far to much pain and discomfort.
It was Sam that I was trying to sell, and the buyer was looking for a gentle broke horse like him. But...she said she was 400 pounds. Sam, while being rather large for a light riding horse, cannot handle that kind of weight, especially with his current condition and age, so I turned down the sale.

Some people are suitable for heavier boned horses like Sam, while others are meant for drafts. I would never laugh and tell someone they can't ride because of their weight or size. Everyone can ride, you just gotta find the right horse

Wait! I'll fix it....
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post #8 of 26 Old 06-06-2009, 03:58 PM Thread Starter
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I am a bit paranoid about the horses I ride, I dont want to hurt a horse. Both of my horses are percheron/thoroughbred crosses, they are both heavy boned and solid, and drafty. And the other horse I ride is a 16.3 solid oldenburg.

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post #9 of 26 Old 06-12-2009, 10:24 PM
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I have seriously considered giving up horses in the past because sometimes I just don't feel like I belong... [/quote]

When I first started working at the boarding stable I worked at for 2 years,I didnt fit in AT ALL!! I have tattoos,I like heavy metal and I like horses WAY more than ppl and come off a bit,closed off,at first.All the ppl who worked and boarded there were country-loven good ol folks in this tight knit little family type click.They would invite eachother to do stuff after work right in front of me,like I wasnt even there.I thought they were snobs,they thought I was trouble.But the ppl who took the time to get to know me adored me and I felt the same-its only the ppl who take the time to know you that are worth knowing or caring about,opinions and all!There were times I wanted to quit,but I refused to let them push me away from what i loved!As long as you love yourself,your already doing better than them,cuz they are obviously unhappy with their lives to put down yours..
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post #10 of 26 Old 06-13-2009, 02:05 AM
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mystikal- I'm the same way, music-wise, and liking the horses more than the people-wise, ha ha. Minus the tattoos, don't have any yet. ;] I just started working at my barn and some people seem pretty snobbish still, but the ones who actually try to get to know me love me and we've become friends.

If someone writes you off just by their first glance or impression of you then they just aren't worth your time.

I give myself very good advice, But I very seldom follow it
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