Respecting other's Opinions, Advice, and Methods - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 04:23 PM Thread Starter
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Smile Respecting other's Opinions, Advice, and Methods

I noticed this in several different places with different people. One person has an opinion and others who disagree come and rain fire on that person. I have experienced it too. I've had my comments deleted because my opinion or advice didn't match up to whoever made the video, or I was called names because I didn't agree.

In the horse world, there are a billion opinions, advice, and methods. What works for someone else's horse may work for another person's horse but not yours. But that does not mean it is a bad method or piece of advice.

Sometimes, someone's opinion can be so plain and simple, and more than often people can misunderstand what happened so their advice isn't all that helpful.

Everybody has their own way of doing things whether we like it or not. Some advice or methods may be great while others seem silly.

I try to be neutral about all the methods, advice, and opinions. While I have my own and may not agree with others, I still respect their opinion because it is theirs.

I only hope that in return, they respect mine.
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Keep going, keep moving forward. You'll get it together someday.
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post #2 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 04:43 PM
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I do however, have a large problem having respect for opinions that are harmful and dangerous. And I do seem to get a LOT of disrespect here for what IS my opinion.
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post #3 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 04:50 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelfood View Post
I do however, have a large problem having respect for opinions that are harmful and dangerous. And I do seem to get a LOT of disrespect here for what IS my opinion.
Yes of course, what sounds dangerous and harmful it not okay. But we all know we just want that person to be safe.

Keep going, keep moving forward. You'll get it together someday.
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post #4 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 05:04 PM
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It's a trend I see growing in the horse world.... and that to me is scary. I know I was told by my showmanship trainer that I "ride horses wrong" and "whoever taught me how to ride obviously didn't need to be riding horses". She wasn't too pleased when I told her there was 10,001 ways to ride a horse. Saddened me because she's so one minded that she can't improve her instructing and I came to her to learn a different style and bring new ideas into MY training/riding.

My trainer who taught me to ride has multiple national championships under her belt, and adapts her lesson/training program to do whatever it takes. Even if it's unconventional or 'outside' methods that they normally don't use.

Squirrelfood, while I do agree with you I think that it's very difficult to determine harmful and dangerous in some cases. I say this because of the variety of ways things can be done and what the situation is.
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post #5 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 06:35 PM
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It's not all that difficult when you have spent your somewhat long life knowing what can, and usually does happen when you do certain things with a horse. Some things are very rarely anything BUT a disaster about to happen.
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post #6 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 06:40 PM
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Hello Roman. I know that I have disagreed with you on at least one occasion. I try to make it a point to be logical and non-confrontational when I disagree with anyone. I trust that you are confident enough in your own advice, opinions, or methods to rebut any argument I make with another given in the same spirit.
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post #7 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 07:03 PM
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I cannot help but weight my respect for someone's opinion in favor of age and experience, which used to infuriate me when I was young and totally without experience.
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post #8 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 07:49 PM
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I tend to just keep my head down and let people do what they will, it`s not my place to judge somebody`s methods. In the end it`s their horse, and them who is going to have to deal with the outcome of said training methods. I try not to share my opinion unless somebody asks for it because nothing infuriates me more than when I am working with a horse and somebody sticks their nose in to tell me I am doing something `wrong`.
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post #9 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 08:02 PM
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I think some folks are disrespectful not based on WHAT is said, but HOW it is said. An old Winston Churchill quote reads "Tact is the ability to tell a man to go to Hell, and make him look forward to the trip."

If you lack tact, and respect for your fellow person, then your message is likely to get lost because that other person IMMEDIATELY becomes defensive. Think of the last person who was nasty to you for what you viewed as no real reason - would you be encouraged to listen to what this person had to say, even if they were a huge expert on something you desperately needed or wanted to learn? Most likely not.

My point being, that when you think you are being disrespected, look at how you are presenting your opinion. Some folks on here have a way of making it sound like their opinion is followed by the unspoken sentence of "And you are an idiot if you believe otherwise".
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post #10 of 24 Old 01-26-2015, 08:33 PM
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That should go without saying. Key word, should.

I try to let things slide as long as it's harmless. You kind of have to in the horse world. People are opinionated by default and you'll never get along with anyone if you let every disagreement bother you. I don't even agree with my closest barn friends all the time, but we're big girls and we're there for each other at the end of the day.
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"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
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