Respecting other's Opinions, Advice, and Methods - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 24 Old 01-28-2015, 02:21 AM
CAP
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Canada
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I'm the quiet type, that only give my opinion when asked..
But I did learn, the one time I ever started my judgement towards someone who was very opinionated was my biggest lesson of all, because he came across arrogant and a know it all, I developed my own opinion towards him and after a few life lessons his opinion now means the most to me, because he was the only one to tell me the things I didn't want to hear and I still often apologize to him for being a bag to him when all he was doing was speaking from his experience and knowledge but because I had thought he was a "mean cowboy" I wouldn't listen to what he had to say, and all he was doing was trying to be helpful but because of my own judgement towards him everything he tried telling me made me think he was just being a jerk.

So I have learned..
When people tell/suggest me something, to always consider it and think about it, If it makes sense to me I'll try it and see how it goes and if it works for me great, if not oh well..
If it doesn't make sense to me at the beginning I wont try it.
I'm a firm believer there are more ways then one to work with a horse and if one method works for one horse it might not work for the other so the more I can learn the better.

I don't believe in abuse or force, if a trainer thinks you have to force the horse to do what you want I'll normally walk away as I want a partnership!
I know sometimes you might need to use a little force but I know one guy that everything is forced but its okay because he tells all his clients he's just being "assertive".

Home To: Pearl - 2010 AQHA Cremello Mare, Chloe - 2012 AQHA Dunskin Mare, Wyatt - 2015 AQHA Dun Colt.
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post #22 of 24 Old 01-28-2015, 02:07 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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well, you know this one:

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

that means , to me, that even though the teacher may have been in front of you all along, he/she is not visible to you until you are ready, then, they "appear", as if by miracle. really, they've been there all along, but you were not ready to be taught.
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post #23 of 24 Old 01-29-2015, 09:50 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by horseluvr2524 View Post
This is why I'm always careful to offer advice in a friendly, suggestive, kind, helpful manner and not "tell" people (unless they are actually taking a lesson from me) what to do. I think it's important also to be able to recognize those who will actually listen to and consider your advice and those who only want to do things their way and never try anything new or different. With the latter, you're wasting your time as the helpful suggestions fall on deaf ears.
Exactly. It takes a long time to build the ability to really listen to what people are telling you BEFORE you start handing out advice. A very wise, non-horsey woman taught me that it is better to ask questions than simply launch into a lecture. It helps you feel out the responses you are getting (and therefore the person's state of mind) and keeps you from wasting your time and your energy - and I don't know about the rest of you, but even in my early 30's I don't have as much of either as I used to .

Even something as "What are you trying to accomplish?" "Do you think it's working?" "Would you like some constructive criticism?" can tell you a lot about whether this is something you can help with, or a hole you're about to throw your words into
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post #24 of 24 Old 01-29-2015, 03:05 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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^I try to do this as well. Sometimes people simply don't want advice xD I always question, then, what they're doing on a forum o,o xD <3
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The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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