it is truly sad to see more and more children with little respect. its like they believe they truly are the most important things on this planet and have every right to have whatever they want...

its just plain sad :(

I started riding at 50 and had my first lesson at 53. I figure I'm paying the instructor to teach me how the instructor rides. I should be free to ask questions, without saying , "But..." Saying, "I don't understand, why does this work?" gets better results.

However, I have seen instructors that I wouldn't tolerate for 15 minutes, let alone an hour. I've seen instructors berate students. That isn't acceptable to me. If I can control my temper around horses, the instructor can control his/her temper around me. If an instructor cussed at me, the lesson would end immediately and another lesson - one in life - would begin...for the instructor.

I also don't take what the instructor says as gospel for all riding. For example, the woman I took lessons from last summer didn't want anyone to post. To her, western riding = no post. That was OK...I was taking lessons and learning her style of riding. But my largest horse is smaller than her smallest. And my horses have short backs, even for Arabians. They will trot farther, faster, more relaxed and more cheerfully if I post. So I learned 'western riding' without posting, but do it with posting on my horses, on my time. But I also learned a ton in a short time with her!

During the lesson, I'm there to learn how to ride like the instructor rides. I need to be free to ask questions (without arguing), or I'll find someone else. I'll treat the instructor with respect, and expect the same in return.

At home, I'll take what I learned, experiment with my horses, and decide how I am going to ride when on my own.

i was at a clinic with an olympic level eventer who told me i had no sense of self preservation. she basically thought me and my horse were crazy and wouldnt let us do anything. i would have like to lay into her, but i didnt.

my trainer was teaching this really bratty 13 yo who got warm during her lesson and wanted to take her coat off. he said no because they were in the middle of schooling something and she could wait a minute until they were done. she got mad and threw her coat on the ground. it happened to be in the middle of a 2 stride line of jumps. when it came time to jump them she told the trainer he had to pick up her coat. he refused and made her jump it. haha

Good instructor :)

Good topic Duffy! My trainers all had very little tolerance for any bullcrap. If I had done the above, I would have been off that horse faster than I could say, "but..."

There's a difference between questions to learn and questioning the instructor.

When I teach I am the same as I am with the horses, firm, fair and fun. I do not expect respect I demand it.

You will always get the ones who think they are clever, and they have to be dealt with as they behave.
An example of this happened some time ago. I was asked to teach at a Pony Club rally and then asked it I would take the boys. I agreed knowing that boys do not really want to learn about sitting pretty and riding in circles, they would rather be following hounds or charging around!
One lad was obviously the leader and had an answer for everything. I told them to take their feet from the stirrups and cross them in front of them so, I had a ride of eight boys all sitting crossed legged on their ponies.
My answer was to crack the lunge whip and tell them "Whole ride Terrrrrotttt"

I tell you, they were soon sitting with a leg on either side.

I encourage my riders to ask questions, if I ask them to sit on their horse backwards I want them to ask what the point of the exercise is (slight exaggeration there!) but you will always get the ones who will not ask and it is up to the instructor to realise that they are not getting it and to find a different way of explaining what is wanted.

I am tough, I expect riders to try. I recognise that not all people want to be competitive but to ride for pleasure but have lessons to improve. Not all people are gutsy and will try anything so, need a lot of encouragement. The gutsy ones often need restraining because they want to do more than they are capable of.

Lessons should be enjoyable for rider and instructor and both should finish thinking that it had been worth while.
Yes, there are crap days when nothing goes right but even then it should be ended on a good note and the instructor should not be continually berating the rider so that they feel totally useless and demoralised.

I have been on a lot of courses with top riders, both eventing and show jumping riders and it never took me long to realise that just because they could ride did not mean that they could teach. (Not in all cases but with more than one!)

It's the parent's fault that they do not discipline their children. My 3 DD's, ages 31, 28 and 23 are and have been respectful to adults and others while growing up. Even my youngest, who is exercising her argument muscles at Law School, remains respectful and she lets others--even the obnoxious ones--finish a sentence before responding. I think that this is bc she hero-worships her dad, who is an attorney and who ALWAYS thinks before he speaks.
The shame is that this kind of poor, disrespectul behavior that we have delineated on this thread will cost them opportunities in the future. Some will learn the hard way and change, others will be boors their entire lives.

The disrespect in today's youth blows me away. I work in an Upper Elementary school which is grades 5 and 6....so the kids are 10-12. I am the Media person(librarian). A lot of these kids do not even have the simple "please and thank you" down. The way I have heard them talk to some of their teachers....unbelievable. I kick them out of my library until they can come back with some manners. You see this everywhere!!!

I've seen people back talk instructors...but what really gets me is when someone refuses to do something, constantly asks for a break...one time I saw someone flat out run out of a lesson because their horse was misbehaving. The horse wasn't bucking, rearing, spooking, or anything really bad. He was just going too fast at times (or not moving others) and sometimes would go where he wanted to go and not where she wanted him to. Now, this was during the whole lesson, but to me that is nothing to cry about and definitely not something that would be a good reason for quitting in the middle of a lesson without asking your instructor first. Plus, she let him into his stall without closing the door.

To me, disrespect is definitely a problem with kids my age and even younger. However, simple disrespect isn't as much of a problem as plain refusal to do something that doesn't suit their needs. If I ever talked back to my instructor I know my parents would 1: yell at me, and 2: forbid me from riding the next week.

It's rather sad isn't it Mel. There's not a chance I'd work in the school system today, every kid in the school would hate me lol!

When we had our first parent/teacher conference this year, my daughter's teacher was raving how she one of 2 kids in the class of 19 who hadn't gotten a warning or lost recess. I find it pathetic that going a month without getting in trouble is a big success.

Before I retired, I was a guest lecturer at quite a few colleges and universities in Missouri and Arkansas. I was often invited to give guest lectures to business classes at high schools, but after trying it a couple of times I declined all the offers. I don't know how teachers do it today...students were sleeping, talking, goofing around, and the ones that were paying attention had blank looks in their eyes.

Times have changed from when I was in school. Perhaps that's why I can read and write and can point to Kansas on a map of the U.S...