Riding etiquette and other dilemma's (rant post) - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 08:34 PM Thread Starter
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Riding etiquette and other dilemma's (rant post)

First off, let me just say... I absolutely love going horseback-riding with my cousin.

Though, lately, she's been doing things that really get under my skin when we ride. Mainly two things, really... not letting her horse drink any water during the ride, and riding off and leaving me when I stop to let my horse rest or get water.

I guess I can explain by using today's ride.

We rode for about 4-to-5 hours total, with about forty-five minutes of that ride were spend trotting and cantering. The rest was walking. Now I know, walking isn't a huge thing, but still...

When I ride, I like to stop and talk to people, especially family, if they are outside, and I also give pony-rides to kids who are outside. Now, I'm the one who does this. My cousin won't, because she has so much trouble getting back on her horse (her horse is a 25 year old, 14-3 hand Arabian who never steps a foot out of line... he's literally kid-trained, and the way my cousin acts, you'd think he was a three year old wild stallion... she freaks out on him for the smallest things, such as stumbling or shaking his head and insists that he's bucking and trying to throw her or kick her).

Sorry, got off track... anyway, the first issue that really, really irks me is my cousin's issue with letting her gelding drink water while riding. It doesn't matter if we're gone for thirty minutes or all day... on the few times we've gone riding all day (from nine in the morning until past six at night) she doesn't let her horse drink any water from any type of pond or creek because she insists that he's going to lay down with her. He's only laid down with me once in water, and that was years ago, and she claims that he laid down with her in a pond about two years ago, but I was there at the time and he sunk in the mud a little, but that's it. Even when her horse is obviously thirsty and trying to meander down towards the water, she'll make him keep going while I stop and give my horse a drink. If I mention it, she gets all defensive and usually starts 'wanting to go home' at that point. It's very frustrating...

As for her leaving me... I'll use today's example. We had already been riding for about three hours, and we were on the highway, heading to the other back-road to take us home. (riding on the highway was frustrating in itself, as I had to constantly remind my cousin to get in the grass and out from the middle of the road... and she's a year older than I am!)... Along the way, to get off the highway for a few minutes, we went down beside a church that has a natural creek in the back. I told her I was stopping to give my mare some water, and she said ok, so I left. I thought she was stopping as well, but after my mare got her water, I didn't see my cousin.

When I came back around the corner of the church, I saw her, heading up the road, already about a forth of a mile ahead of me, and in the middle of the highway. I was so ready to say something to her when I caught up, but I didn't, though I think she could tell I was annoyed because I was a little short with her for the rest of the ride.

It's just frustrating, because if our positions had been reversed, and I had left her, she would have definately had some things to say to me and would have tried to paint herself in the 'poor, pitiful me' light (though probably without realizing it, admittedly) and turned me into the 'bad guy' for leaving her.

It's also frustrating when I want to trot or canter, and she's willing, then, right when we start, she starts yelling to stop because her gelding is acting crazy, and when I look over, all he's doing is doing what she told him to do... or I'll be cantering and she'll yell to stop because her gelding is going nuts, and when I look back, he's walking along fine and not caring at all that my mare is cantering, etc...

Guess this was a rant post, lol...
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post #2 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 09:24 PM
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Is she riding your horse or her own? If shes riding your horse I would tell her to say 'bye-bye' because if I were to go on a 4-5 hour trail ride, my horse would have as much water as she wants, especially when you're doing about 45 mins total of trotting/cantering. Even if this is your cousin's horse I would tell her what shes really doing.

As for the incident with the highway. Well first, what kind of highway are you talking about? A really big, busy, highway where people are going 70mph? If so it may be safer for you and the cars if you wouldn't take the highway. But if not I would still not take it. If it really bothers you, and puts you in danger, don't ride with her or get very firm with her.
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post #3 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 09:28 PM
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Simple fix. SAY something! All this being aloud to be an idiot is like rewarding a horse for biting. Grow a pair for BOTH of your safety.

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post #4 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 09:29 PM
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Fwiw to other posters seeing my above comment, I know Britt and her cousin personally. I'm aloud to be blunt. Lolz

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post #5 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 11:01 PM
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You are ALLOWED to be as blunt as you want with then when you see them ? Of course , here , folks are allowed to be direct , even a bit blunt , as long as its not rude or just plain mean.

Why can you and she not get off the horses, lead them o the water and let them drink? 5 hours riding and you never get off to give them a break?
My own butt old need a break and my horses back would appreciate a break, too. No matter how good your saddle fits, giving your horse a short rest unmountrd will help the blood supply to the muscles underplaying the saddle tree.
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post #6 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 11:14 PM
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It sounds like she's scared of the horse. She gets defensive about not letting him drink because she probably feels bad and is afraid but won't admit it. If the horse she's riding is so kid broke, she should not have trouble getting back on him after dismounting.
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post #7 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 11:17 PM
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I knew I spelled that wrong. :p lol.
I was kidding with that, didnt think I wad being rude. And I am the same with them in person. But I don't usually ride with the cousin for this reason. It's quite annoying to have to babysit this girl and cater to her needs. Britt has more patience than I do.

But I agree with getting off. The problem is really that this girl is....... There's no good way for me to put it, but she has a mental disability... sort of... It's hard to get her to understand basic common sense things without her getting upset and running to her parents and "tattling".

Trust me. It's happened before with me.
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post #8 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 11:18 PM
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She's a bigger rider, and has problems mounting. It isn't that she's afraid.
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post #9 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 11:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNinja View Post
I knew I spelled that wrong. :p lol.
I was kidding with that, didnt think I wad being rude. And I am the same with them in person. But I don't usually ride with the cousin for this reason. It's quite annoying to have to babysit this girl and cater to her needs. Britt has more patience than I do.

But I agree with getting off. The problem is really that this girl is....... There's no good way for me to put it, but she has a mental disability... sort of... It's hard to get her to understand basic common sense things without her getting upset and running to her parents and "tattling".

Trust me. It's happened before with me.
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And she's riding alongside a HIGHWAY ? Egads!
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post #10 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 11:34 PM
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Okay.... I understand the OP wanting to vent but even if you know this person, Ninja, do not talk badly of them.

How does tattling, her size, and possible mental issue have anything to do with her riding? Leave it out, please.

Britt, that wasn't directed at you. I completely understand your concerns for not letting her horse drink. I think it may have something to do with "over correcting" as in some people don't allow their horses to do anything so that their horse cannot take advantage over them. However drinking while under saddle is a courtesy, not a bad habit (like snatching grass)

As for the other thing, tell her it bothers you when she leaves you! And if she won't change, then don't trail ride with her. Trail rides are supposed to be fun.. not frustrating.
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