Is it rude to make an offer, then back out if you find something better? - Page 7 - The Horse Forum
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post #61 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 07:11 PM
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Honestly if it was me, I would be concerned on what is better for me rather than the owner. If you have a horse that you think would be a better fit and enjoy him more go for that one. Don't get stuck with a horse that isn't the right one just because you don't want to come across rude. If the trainer who is selling the horse really is a good horse person, she'd understand your dilemma.

Don't get a horse that isn't the right one or is not the one you really want, I think that would be a mistake IMO.

Sit tall in the saddle, hold your head up high. Keep your eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky. And live like you ain't afraid to die. Don't be scared, just enjoy your ride - Chris LeDoux
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post #62 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 07:36 PM
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To be honest I think it is rude. Written contracts have developed because we can't seem to keep our word. Once you've made an offer, organised a pick up time and it's all been agreed upon the horse is as good as yours. They could be turning down other people based on your word. And sure, buyers back out all of the time, and so do sellers, but a lot of people in this world do things I wouldn't agree with but that doesn't give me an excuse to do them.

At the same time were you to buy this mare you would never be happy, because you'd always have wanted another horse.

I'd call up the owners immediately and tell them you don't want this horse, none of this messing around. If you don't want the horse you don't want it, it has nothing to do with what's better out there. Many people wouldn't agree but I would also give them 10% of the purchase price. That is generally what a deposit is, and I think for all the messing around and defaulting on the sale that is what they should have. They didn't ask for a deposit because they trusted you. If you walk away there is nothing that they can do, but I don't think it's right.

Good luck with your new horse though. You didn't mention which one you prefer riding etc? Minor issues like washing can be overlooked but in my experience you don't really know if the horse is just right until you sit on it and it all works.
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post #63 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
I'd call up the owners immediately and tell them you don't want this horse, none of this messing around.
Is it messing around? if the OP were totally unscrupulous then she would not have a worry on the world, and would of just told the owners that "I've changed my mind" or just gone missing never to be heard of again. The fact that she is asking the question means that it is not easy for her.

“Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to stupidity”
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post #64 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 07:47 PM
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I'm late to this party but I'd be honest and let them know that you have found a different horse that better matches your needs.

Don't mention to them anything about their horse, because they will take that personally. Just nice and simple, leave it at that.

In the end it is business. If they take it personally and attack you over it, that says a great deal about their character.. or lack thereof.
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post #65 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 07:54 PM
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If you are looking for an answer to make you feel better, this is not one.
I think it is Rude. You agreed verbally to buy that horse. The longer you wait to rescind your offer, the worse it will be. As the seller, or the go between I would be very Annoyed, and would not be your go between person ever again.
This type of thing can ruin a persons reputation. It does happen all the time.
Are you a minor ? the seller should never deal with a minor.
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post #66 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted by littleerin5 View Post
Okay, thanks for the opinions. I was really stressing it, but I got some good advice from AlexisChristina and I am going to take it! I appreciate it guys!
Just saying.... The OP posted this on page 2, so I don't think she's messing around any longer assuming that she followed through with what she said she would do (which is ironically the issue in this thread).
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post #67 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 08:10 PM
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exactly, everything is being dealt with, she gelding sounds like a very nice horse and everyone here is just dragging it on and on, berating the OP for doing something people do all the time.

Obviously OP wasn't intending on hurting anyone and I think it's a bit dramatic to say it will ruin her reputation. She sounds like a very nice person, possibly TOO nice to survive the brash people in this industry.
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post #68 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 09:00 PM
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Originally Posted by alexischristina View Post
She sounds like a very nice person, possibly TOO nice to survive the brash people in this industry.
Quite possible

“Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to stupidity”
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post #69 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 09:20 PM
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I haven't read the whole thread but here is my 2 cents on the subject...

First of all a horse is kind of a massive responsibility both financially and in maintenance. If I found a horse that was great at the time, to come along to something better BEFORE anything was set in stone, you are darn tooting I would back out of the sale to purchase the better horse- screw feeling obligated to anyone or being sad that I hurt someone feewings.... She may not have had any doubts about this mare UNTIL she found this gelding - IT HAPPENS. This is a BIG life altering decision! Get the horse that you think is best suited for you.

Second- If these people started spending any money that is not yet in their possession, because they are going of the word of someone, then um... who's fault is that?? certainly NOT the potential buyer.
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post #70 of 78 Old 06-25-2013, 10:36 PM
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I only read the first page, but it's really no big deal. People change their minds on what to buy all the time. Just because it's a horse doesn't make it any different. Buy the horse that's right for you!
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