The Rudest of People... - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:26 PM Thread Starter
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The Rudest of People...

There is always that one person who you just can't stand, that person who you just want to, well, punch in the face, despite that whole 'being violent is not the way' thing. But I've noticed lately that people are always going to be rude and obnixous, but HORSE people in particular tend to be the worst.

It's odd, because you'd think horses would teach us patience. Yet every barn, every show, every fourm I've been on involving horses I come across people who I just can't stand more commonly with horses involved. Don't get me wrong, I understand perfectly that we all have our opinions and we all see things done differently.

But here, on this fourm, espcially. I could seriously list off several names of people on here who just....need to go away and take their opinion and shove it. But actually listing them would be pointless. It's occured to me they aren't going to change. They think they are right right right right and know EVERYTHING and more importantly the CORRECT way to ride, train, and do anything with horses. Their opinions of others who do it differently and see things differently tend to come out in their posts with an attitude of 'I'm SO much bettter than you because I right the correct way and what you are doing is wrong and bad'.

And if you think I'm just being overly annoying/sensitive, take this as an example. How many times have you yourself clicked into a post, regardless of if it was a riding issue, a training issue, a photo, anything at all, and read somewhere in that post, "If you are going to reply, please be nice." or "Don't critique please" or "Don't be to harsh on me" or SOMETHING along those lines? It is because the OP of those posts knows how brutal people on here can be. How cruel their attitudes and replies are. If someone says in their post "I'm looking for ___________ kind of help, please don't judge what my horse did prior or what I chose to do" and yet often times that request goes ignored and a replier will just judge the rider for the choices s/he made and then go on to explain just WHY they are wrong in what they did. Does it matter if they admitted to making a mistake and learned from it? No. They are still getting judged. They are still getting told off by a complete stranger.

Not everyone on here is rude. Not everyone on here is unhelpful, either. In fact, due to this site I've made some pretty awesome friends, to the point I text with them away from the internet. I'm sure I'm not the only one. BUT not everyone on here is actually HELPFUL either. If it was a rare thing, I could overlook it. If it was just a few particular people, like say 3-4, I could ignore it. But it is my opinion that this attitude of I'm better than you and more experienced and know more is becoming more common than not. It is due to this that I'm writing this post.

Yes, if it isn't already obvious, I'm quitting. I'm not a huge avid poster on here, but I'm sure a few of you reading this will recognize my name from a post you've either created or also replied on. I do my best to be as polite as possible while still being helpful. It is this unnecessary judging that I get/see that's gotten me to the point I end up clicking off this site mad and frustrated more often than not. Do I know everything? No. Does my opinion count? Sure. Is it always right? Who can really say. I think we all can agree (or most of us, anyway) that with horses you never truly stop learning. Some ways that will work for one horse will not work for another. So many times I've been told and see told to others that a horse "has my number" because things went sour. Do horses misbehave? Yes. Do people spoil them and make them rotten and let them get away with bad things? Of course. But one bad ride does not mean a horse "has your number". It means there is a training issue of some sort to address.

And with all of that, I'm quitting this site. Maybe I'll be back someday, but it will not be in the near future. The behavior of to many has made this place no longer fun and frankly no longer helpful. I wish you all the very best, and I really hope you will THINK before posting something rude and know-it-all-y. this place was designed to get help and opinions and ideas from others, not to constantly be PUT DOWN. So to all you who post in, as the site puts it, "a helpful and friendly manner" good for you, you are doing it right. To everyone else... just be nice!

BECAUSE NICE REALLY DOES MATTER!

I bid you all adieu.

~He knows when you're happy
~He knows when you're comfortable
~And he always knows when you have carrots.
Horsequeen08 is offline  
post #2 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:34 PM
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Horse folks are a very opinionated bunch. Many without a mute button.
There's really no shame in what you decide to do online. I hope you the best.

I have no idea what your specific problem may be...
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post #3 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:34 PM
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What you need to remember is that when it comes to horses there are so many disciplines and so many opinions that not everyone is going to agree, and because this is the internet tone can be very difficult to get across. One thing meant to be said in jest can be taken seriously by another and perceived as rude.

I've been on this forum for a long time, although I just hung around for awhile because in my very first thread I felt like I was 'attacked'. In retrospect I realize people were worried for the horse I had at the time, and my safety. I was a green rider on a very green horse, it was a bad situation. People gave me advice, I refused to take it, I thought they were horrible, now I wish I had listened.

There are very few people on this forum that I honestly dislike, and only one or two people who I think are down right rude, in general I think everyone is just pretty 'tough', blunt and honest. Not afraid to say what they want to say and not always willing to sugar coat it. But like I said, it all boils down to perspective.
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post #4 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:44 PM
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I would say that I completely agree with you HorseQueen. I don't think I've really been on this forum much these past few months because of the attitudes and the rudeness. I'll check it every so often, but really don't post anything. I'm sure we could all name off the rude ones, though. In honesty, I was shocked at how much one could get attacked on this forum.
I completely agree with your decision, and you took the words right out of my mouth.
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post #5 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:45 PM
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To be quite honest....this is one of the nicest forums around.....trust me, I know
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post #6 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:48 PM
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And on you go....rude ones calling out rude ones, & so on & so forth. It's the internet people, you don't have to read it. I dont' know, maybe I am just old fashioned but I don't get cyber bulling, internet stalking, it's a machine, shut it off.
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post #7 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:57 PM
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People are like opinions which are like... You know.
Qhitting is easy, though. If I had giving up by with every rude person I came across, I would have been horseless LONG ago.
Best way to show them is to be a stick in the mud. Kill 'em with kindness.

Besides, dog breeders are WAY worse.

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Registered Solid and Sabino Arabians
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post #8 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:57 PM
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I have to agree with Muppetgirl, I've seen people get really nasty on other forums. Call you worthless, call your animals ugly, tell you you're crap all the way around. It's because we have such a wonderful mod team, who keep those people out of our forum, or in check.

Actually, that's probably why some forums are SO mean, they're full of the people WE banned.
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post #9 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WSArabians View Post
People are like opinions which are like... You know.
Qhitting is easy, though. If I had giving up by with every rude person I came across, I would have been horseless LONG ago.
Best way to show them is to be a stick in the mud. Kill 'em with kindness.

Besides, dog breeders are WAY worse.
^^^^^^^^ Hey nowwwwwwwwwww, I resemble that remark,

Melinda
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post #10 of 68 Old 06-02-2013, 11:59 PM
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I'm a member of many internet forums spanning a variety of topics. This is by far the most regulated, keep everything nice, sugar coated forum I've come across in a long time. That's not necessarily a good thing or a bad thing. It's just an internet forum and if it no longer brings you pleasure to be a part of, you should move on. All the best to you and your horses. :)
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