The Rudest of People... - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 12:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Muppetgirl View Post
Speaking of tone.....Nvr2many......we're joking!!! LOL!!!
Definitely! LOL
Sometimes my sense of humour is crude!
Like that text message I sent you about the Cookie Monster.... LMAO
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post #22 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 12:42 AM
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Personally I think this is a forum that is very well monitored. If someone gets ugly, then simply report the post. If the person that posted it was out of line the mods will take care of it.

One of the biggest problems I find with this forum and any other is, even though people post threads asking for help, if people say things they don't want to hear they start screaming that everyone is being mean to them. Sometimes being helped requires that you look at the mistakes you are making.

I very much dislike that in our society being blunt is looked upon as being rude. Why is it necessary for people to add a couple of more paragraphs for you so that you can feel the rainbows and butterflies? When you post asking for advice, take the advice that you get that is sound and forget the rest of it. It really shouldn't be taken personally.

There are some excellent horsemen on this forum in all areas. There is a wealth of knowledge and experience here. If you choose to take bluntness for rudeness and leave this forum, then it is truly your loss.
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post #23 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 12:42 AM
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Originally Posted by nvr2many View Post
Oh man, now you tell me! I went and posted all sorts of bad things about you two on other threads, bahahahahaha!

Well, of all the nerve... I hope you know I love revenge!!
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post #24 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 01:16 AM
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I think part of it is things can come across a lot harsher in writing than in person. When you talk to someone you ease into it, smile, make small talk, comment on things, have open body language etc. But on the forum you are given a hundred words or so to say what you want to say in a way that isn't going to be a chore for others to read.

In that way it doesn't quite come across like friendly advice, but just a statement addressing something.

In the same way it can be harder to get a point across - when someone is really worried they have to be upfront and harsh because there aren't many other way's a person is going to understand that what they are doing is potentially dangerous -well not in a hundred words.

It's a bit threatening for people. I get that. I guess it's important to think back to what you write (and how you write it) knowing that all opinions will be based on that.

That's one of the tricky things on a forum. In real life someone's opinion will be based on seeing how someone rides, how a horse reacts, how they handle it etc. Here it's purely by what is posted, and that isn't really much.

There are rude people everywhere though. I always think just smile, nod and move on!
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post #25 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 01:27 AM
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This is a community. It may be only in cyber space, but it's a real, live community. It has a culture, and is comprised of a bunch of individuals, with different views on life, and different levels of experience and courtesy. once you get to know folks, you can see who has what to offer, and who might need to be taken with a grain of salt, and who to turn a blind eye to, if necessary. And beyond that, there's the report button and the mods, and beyond that, well, like you said, move on to some other forum.
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post #26 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 01:28 AM
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I think it would be kind of boring if it was all agreement and sweetness and light.

This is a well run and well moderated forum, there is a wealth of knowledge here, a great place to get a lot of views on any one subject.
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post #27 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 01:34 AM
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Gosh, I don't think you could be more wrong. I find it hard sometimes to post when someone is doing something stupid as I know if I say what I want to say, it will be moderated, and I will get a slap on the wrist.

If you think this place is harsh, then I guess you haven't been on many internet forums. This is by far the kindest gentlest place I go to.
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post #28 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 05:22 AM
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The one consideration I have not seen mentioned as yet, That is culture of the country the poster is posting from. That has a very large bearing on the response to a question.

The great plains in the States and Australia, to mention only two, flat land as far as the eye can see, and when you have travelled that distance, again flat land as far as the eye can see. Take my country I can throw a stone between hills. So my horse will have huge shoulders and a thick neck wide spaced front legs and a great big powerfull rump. Because it is going up and down hills and pushing through bush as normal riding, so it builds the bulk to handle the terrain.
The horse on the plains may be slighter in build because of where it is and the land it spends its time on. And as a flat land horse won't know how to navigate up or down hills.

The comments on each horse can be a little hard. Mine looks like a moungrel while yours looks refined so you may feel set upon and why, well I think it is because you do not yet understand you are talking to folks from all walks of life and riding styles, and many different countries, so, different cultures which also equates to different understanding of sayings, though similar, because of the culture very different in meaning. What is an insult to you is just run of the mill conversation to others. And no mallace intended.

But good luck to you.

And a foot note. AlexS would have no trouble putting me straight. But I would not be insulted, as I understand her, and make allowances. HaHaHa She is going to roast me for that shot.
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Last edited by Stan; 06-03-2013 at 05:26 AM.
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post #29 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 08:04 AM
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I've several money sucking hobbies and have been on the interwebs since...well forever. Trust me on this, this forum is one of the nicest I frequent and best moderated.

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
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post #30 of 68 Old 06-03-2013, 08:50 AM
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Excuse my not allowed to have coffee so my brain doesn't function properly at this time of day thoughts, should they be a bit scattered.

As Tinyliny mentioned, it's like a community here. After being here for some time, I view it much like an extended family and many folks here I'd call friends, some that I'd more than welcome to come visit me in real life and some that I text, talk to on the phone and have met in real life. Every family has many personalities, for example, the 'drunk uncle', the crabby great aunt, a drama llama cousin, a petulant niece or nephew, a tough love parent, on and on. We are all people, all different, have our quirks and to me, that's a good thing. Life would be boring if all in one shade.

When I first joined, I jumped in head first and got some good debate on the topic at hand. Some who agreed with my position, others who thought I was a horse eating meanie. I don't eat horses for breakfast but I do have very high behavioral expectations and deal with them swiftly.

Doesn't make any of us right or wrong necessarily, just different. Long before internet forums, my grandpa told me "Put 3 horse people in a room, ask the same question and you'll get 6 different opinions." Rang true then, rings true now. With the technology, it simply allows a larger cross section of us 'horse crazies' to congregate in the same spot and in turn, that many more opinions.

I know for myself that I try (and admittedly have to try pretty hard sometimes) to make my points honestly and possibly a bit blunt but I tone it down a fair amount from what I might possibly say to a student or client in my day to day real life. Things in text leave much up to interpretation by reader. What one may think is great shooting straight advice might be taken as harsh or offensive by another, particularly when it involves their personal situations, when it wasn't intended to be nor was it. One thing that the forum has given me insight into is how much we truly do rely on body language in face to face interactions. There are things I say to students that are pretty darn sarcastic that I'd never say here because here one can't see me making faces or acting a fool while I say it. At least once a week I tell a student "Suck it up buttercup" but here, not likely. All because of the way text may or may not be interpreted.

We try to be a fair, middle of the road forum. We don't want to stifle opinions by being too strict nor do we want to have a completely unfiltered place that allows personal insults and venomous attacks. Anytime a member feels they have a problem, we have a report feature, please use it. The mod team discusses each report as a group and makes a decision based on how it fits or does not fit within our rules and structure.

This topic is something I've thought about quite a bit and did in fact write a thread on. May be worth a read and may also be time to write a sister thread on how to give constructive criticism and advice.
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