I guess it sounded that way to me. You mentioned her having all of the stuff ("Your post is making me upset. You have a horse... and your own jumps... and your own place to ride... AND an instructor that makes time for you"), that she should consider herself lucky ("Maybe you should consider just how lucky you are before you get all down and stuff"), that you would be "over the moon" in her situation, and then told her to stop moping ("Stop thinking "poor me").
If I misunderstood that, then that's my bad, but it seemed to be a pretty clear message, at least
worded like that.
ETA: Your last post, "I honestly wish her the best on finding what makes her happy, but I wish she'd change her attitude about things (not her mind, her attitude.. her approach)" - How SHOULD she approach it? Genuinely, here, not being a snot. If she's starting to be unhappy and wanting to move forward, of course she's going to seem to have a negative attitude... But, negative attitude doesn't always equal ungrateful. She can be very grateful for all she has, and resent it because she feels like she's in a tight spot and doesn't know what to do.
That over the moon part I already apologized for since I got a bit heated there.
Since you're asking me, I think the best way to approach it would be to be thankful for all that she has been given
That she has a horse of her own, that her coach makes time to teach her, that her parents (or whomever) have paid for her horse, that she was able to be a working student, that she's able to have a green horse to train her way, that she has access to the riding facilities.
And once she has done that, she can think about what she wants to do now that would continue to make her happy. She could have a talk with her parents and talk about some options that would make her happier.
skyseternalangel. a thirteen year old or any child probably does not realize how much they are blessed with. I for one did not.
Your post reeks of jealousy and I as a parent find it disturbing that an adult finds it necessary to put a child in their place. Especially when all she asked for was advice.
Your struggle to receive an education and maintain a horse at the same time in another country is commendable. That doesnt mean everyone must undergo such hardships or that those who live in comfort are ungrateful.
I do not find you to be a mean person. You have good advice. This time however you sound like a bully.
However since you are 19 remember talking to an mature adult in a certain manner may be acceptable. A 13 YO is another story. Shalom
No I'm not jealous.. I am making my situation work. I'm grateful for being here in New Zealand and having access to this mare, I just miss my horse. I already apologized 3 times for that post. That was me being heated. I informed her of my situation but I did so in a silly way.
This thread isn't about my situation, nor am I struggling....please do not assume..... I was merely telling her my situation, NOT comparing myself to her.
I should have ignored her comment and not responded. A mod can remove that post if needed. I know for the next time.
But I agree about not knowing how blessed they are, that was my entire point. I hope in future the OP realizes that.
Ungrateful and a negative attitude are not one in the same. Negative attitude is not WANTING something. Ungrateful is complaining that what you HAVE isn't good enough.
I'm still not understanding how it came off as ungrateful.
You compared a 13yr old to your current self..How much older than her are you? She's still a kid, you're not.
Comparing a coach that tells her what to do and a team that would cheer her on is NOT ungrateful, I'm assuming you missed that part of her post. I wish I had someone to cheer me on and give me praise when I have something big happen with my horse..but I don't have a team, and maybe she doesn't either. My mum couldn't give a rat's *** about my horse and recently told me, "You need to sell that thing, it's costing you too much money getting hurt all the time"..I get put down for having a horse, atleast she's NOT trying to mope about like I do sometimes. I get put down for my horse still being skinny, hurting herself, not being perfect, etc..and it upsets me to no end, but I won't get rid of her to make someone else happy, I just tell them to shut up and walk away (my mother too, because she knows it upsets me and still does it). The difference between me and OP is that I'm old enough to spend my own money to keep my horse, OP's parents (I assume) pay for hers.
Point being..I don't think everyone read the entire OP more than glancing over it.
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I'm only responding to the parts in bold..
I didn't reply to her OP because I found fault in only the post that I quoted.. hence quoting it...
And to me a negative attitude is very much on line with being ungrateful. Negativity to me is focusing on the bad thoughts, things you don't have, not feeling blessed, etc.
I've already said a few times what I feel, and I've expressed it. I don't have access to the forum at home but I hope that the OP figures this out.