But, its her and her parents decisions, not yours. No matter how you want it to be, no matter how much you want to offer assistance, it is not your place to give advice. Giving advice to someone who is not asking for it nor wanting it is the best way to lose a friend.
When I got my very first horse years ago, I didn't know alot either. You learn as you go. Some folks never learn, some folks do.
I would also suggest not telling everyone on the forum or anyone who you talk to that "she can't afford lessons, how is she going to afford farrier, vet, etc?" Again, not your business and I would be very upset if my friend was telling the whole world that I could not afford something.
How do you know that her and her parents are not discussing this between them and making all the right choices? I agree, a newby should not get a young horse, that is a big mistake folks make all the time, but you telling her what age horse to get is just a big red flag to get a horse that is young.
Not so long ago you were making bad decisions also, then slowly have learned to do what is best, not what you thought was best. You were bound and determined not to listen to any advice,, even after you asked for it. Now you are expecting your friend to listen and take all the advice you are so graciously giving her, even though she is not asking for it.
Leave it alone and let your friend make her own decisions and mistakes. She will probably ask you for help in the future, but for now, this is not your decision nor your place to give advice.