Talk me out of this - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 04:24 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
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I do appreciate how everyone cares enough to tell me that I deserve a problem-free horse. I guess I am so tired of struggling with Kodak that I thought I'd like the opposite of that. Kodak's perfectly healthy, but her mental health is off. I've been trying for two years to help her improve, but under saddle, she's still a train wreck most of the time.

And the reason I pass on most horses (including the last one which was older), and am not actively horse shopping is because I don't trust sellers anymore. This one is a friend, so I trust her. We would be able to work out a trial. I'm always afraid that I'll buy another horse and it will be another situation like I had with Kodak so when friends have quiet horses they think would be suitable for me, I tend to listen.

But yeah, you're all right. My husband will be happy.
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post #32 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 04:30 PM
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^ While it's kind of you to want to help the friend, I would recommend against it. Taking horses that used to belong to friends generally ends up with someone mad at someone else. If you got the mare and she was worse than you were told, you'd be disappointed in your friend. If you put the mare down because she was worsening but your friend views that as you 'killing the horse she entrusted you with' you are up against a wall.

Do not take horses from friends, especially sick horses. It rarely ends well.

*if you still truly think this mare may work for you, work out a short-term lease--- say, 60 days, and draw up a contract about what happens and who is responsible for care and vet work and go from there. If your friend truly has your happiness in mind here and you like the mare, it may be worth looking into, but be blunt that you are really concerned about the health, and you may well drop the lease after that time. If your friend balks, walk away.
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post #33 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 05:00 PM
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Forgive me for my opinion on this I also haven't been able to read everyones replies yet (that's what bedtime is for!) I believe you do want another horse BUT I do not believe that you want this horse for the right reasons. After following your story for so long it's pretty obvious to me that every inch of progress you make must feel like a mile. Trust, in your shoes I would also be gagging for something FRESH, a new project to breathe life into where I might be able to get real results without slogging it out for a year or more.

I'm all for rescues you know that haha but I do ask that you be honest with yourself about your goals. I bet there was a time you thought you would never give up on Kodak. But here you are - and btw no shame, no judgement. Not everyone is cut out for it as I sure know I'm not interested in a Kodak-esque horse to ride and die on. She just suits a very specific type of rider I guess. But let's say you get this horse, you fall in love. Her heatlh deteriorates. You can't rehome her. I have had plenty of animals where I have been broke and tired and a part of me just wanted to not have to be responsible for. Which is pretty human I think, to want a break. You deserve a break - not another liability.

I also want you to be absolutely sure you are willing to risk your finances, your time AND your friendship. This is friendship-killer material right here. This might seem strange but I am less likely to trust a friend when it comes to animals/horses as I know they are preying on my VERY WELL KNOWN weaknesses. They might be the best friend in the world but when it comes to SELLING or even giving freebies you cannot deny that they have an agenda. Tell me honestly - do you think, from the bottom of your heart, that they are setting this up for your purely out of goodwill and with no benefit to themselves? I can clearly see you being taken advantage of - because you are keeping a "crazy horse that no on would have the patience to deal with so ofc you would keep the sick one". You also must have money. Look at how much you invest in your horses health and daughters comp life. "Who can I give a nice horse that is sick but deserves a good life with someone that can afford her medical bills?" BINGO. At least you can expect sellers to be dishonest to a point. Then comes the additional baggage of obligation... and guilt... I am not saying your friend isn't a good person or doesn't mean well. But when it comes to selling, a seller as to make a profit somehow (money or otherwise), friend or not.

Sorry came down super hard you know it's just how I think <3 I think you are an amazing person who deserves so much good. So with all the above out the way? You willing to risk all that? Tight contract, a steel heart and give it a shot. Regardless if you keep horse or not or even if friendship goes to pot, at the very least you and the rest of us can be consoled by the fact that said horsey is gonna be very well taken care of and loved! And there is always the chance this horse might be the best horse of your ridden life even against all odds...
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post #34 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 05:09 PM
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Hey, does it bother anyone else that this horse has a potential respiratory problem AND is VERY slow?
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post #35 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 05:23 PM
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I have learned a lot reading this post. I never have seen a heaves horse; I don’t actually even know anyone who has. Considering the responses I would change my mind about it. Often, when the majority flies to a certain response they know what they are talking about.

Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you? - Balaam’s Donkey
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post #36 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 05:53 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Rod View Post
Hey, does it bother anyone else that this horse has a potential respiratory problem AND is VERY slow?
Yep. It has occurred to me that there may actually be something else lurking deep inside. She doesn't look great. Maybe she's just out of shape, maybe she hasn't had the best food, but maybe there's something else going on...

Oh, and just to be clear, the friend who is selling her is not the owner. The owner is a horse newbie who bought this horse and has now decided it's not working for her so is boarding at my friend's place. My friend has had it for a month and has ridden it herself. But she is not the owner, so does not stand to gain financially. However, I do believe she thinks the horse would genuinely be well taken care of with me. That doesn't mean she has my best interest at heart, just that she probably has the horse's best interest at heart. We're not that close.
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post #37 of 71 Old 09-19-2018, 06:23 PM
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I didn't read through all the responses but one thing to think about is, is this horse (the heavy one) on pasture now?? If so her heaves will be a lot better than if she was kept in and on hay. You have a long winter where you feed hay and maybe by spring you could possibly have a coughing heavy mare that looked a lot better in the fall.

Being the type of person you are who truly cares about her animals, would you like to ride out on a horse that is obviously coughing and having trouble breathing?

Heaves can sometimes be managed well but in a climate where horses are on hay so much of the year it could be a costly and emotionally draining experience.
My personal experience is to stay away from something like that, but who knows she might be an awesome horse that you could have some great times with.

After all this negativity I do encourage you to look around for a good replacement for Kodack and in the fall you can sometimes find a good one looking for a home.
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post #38 of 71 Old 09-20-2018, 12:57 AM
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I agree that the heaves diagnosis is thrown around too easily by vets.

My mare started coughing a few years ago. I called a well known vet. He looked at her for a grand total of 5 minutes and said it was heaves and hit me with a huge bill. Needless to say I will never use him again.

My current vet thought it was inflammatory airways. We treated with dexamethasone and she improved. She is fine for months at a time. I only see a worsening of symptoms if I get a bad batch of hay (too dusty or moldy).

She has been fine all summer until this week. I brought a new round of hay and it was too dusty.

With the right management, my mare thrives. If she does become worse, I will probably spend $1000 and do allergy testing and shots.

My Paso gelding had a terrible cough after the neighbor burned a huge pile of limbs. He has not coughed since. I'm sure the vet would say that is heaves as well.
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post #39 of 71 Old 09-20-2018, 06:24 AM
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I think many don't realize the wide spectrum of "heaves"....
From a first minor onset to a major prolonged scenario...
I actually read most of you telling your vet diagnosed onset heaves...basic criteria met.

A excerpt from a article...
Heaves (also called recurrent airway obstruction) is a severe form of bronchitis/bronchiolitis. The airway passages of a horse with heaves are so obstructed by inflammation, mucus and bronchial muscle contraction (bronchospasm) that the animal has difficulty breathing even at rest.
And to read the entire article...

I find that many who make comment about what/how the vet diagnosed....well, are they "so wrong"....
Based on this article, the horses fit the diagnosis is the fine-tuning of the diagnosis that then would need done wouldn't it?.
As in anything else, there are different degrees of affliction.

Parallel this to someone "claiming" to be a rider...
Are they a self-taught horse enthusiast or a Olympic caliber equestrian?
Both are riders that fit the base description...
It is the follow-up that takes place that makes a detailed description/report and a treatment plan possible.
something to think about...
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post #40 of 71 Old 09-20-2018, 12:58 PM
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So, did you go see her?
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