Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (I hate to rant, but...) - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 5 Old 12-20-2010, 04:48 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: California
Posts: 1,916
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Angry Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (I hate to rant, but...)

Normally I don't let anybody get under my skin, but I'm really frustrated with everything right now, and this is just the last straw right now.

Attempt to quickly summarize my situation: I've worked closely and passionately with horses pretty much my whole life, and I'm 18, so of course I don't claim to be the greatest of all or anything, but I know my way around horses VERY well. The first horse I officially owned, Rocky, was totally green and spoiled rotten when I got him. He bit (HARD.), bucked, took off with riders, and all in all would refuse to work with people and required several huge whacks in the butt just to get him to move off, let alone actually move quickly. I got him and worked with him for a few years, totally on my own, and sold him back out an extremely well-behaved, finely-tuned, incredibly soft and willing partner who you could literally do anything with. Literally, most of the time I rode him I didn't even have to touch the reins because he'd do anything, including a 180 turn or even the start of a turn-around, off of very soft leg pressure, no spurs, no crops, no nothing.
I sold him to try something new. I bought an experienced hunter jumper TB who I thought would be a good match for me, but after working with him with a great trainer for about a year, we just really weren't working out, and I was not comfortable riding him at all. I just get along a lot better with the Western type of horse, it's just my way. I sold him off to a friend who loves him and works great with him.
After that I've been stuck horseless for awhile because my parents can't afford to support a horse for me anymore and I'm struggling greatly to find a job so I can get one myself.

Because I don't have a horse right now, I haven't been out to the barn (the same barn I've always boarded at, ever since I got Rocky), but my mom still keeps her horse there. She still keeps in touch will all of the same people I've always known there (pretty much all older women, I'm one of like two people there under the age of 25)
I've always been pretty highly respected there for my horsemanship with my first horse, but apparently lately some people at and around the barn are starting all of this crap that I'm a green rider, based on tiny amounts of work that they saw me do with my TB, and actually somehow convincing people who knew me way before the TB (they must have forgotten?)
And what's worse, there was one lady who had a horse I was possibly going to be able to work with, one really quite a bit like my Rocky was but a little bit more challenging, and because of these rumours she appears to have decided against letting me work with her. I understand it's her horse and her choice, so I do respect her decision and definitely won't give her any mouth for it, but she was all ready to let me work with her until all of this crap started up. I was really excited about that opportunity, too, because I really love to have a challenge but was hoping to get a more experienced horse next, so I could teach my girlfriend to ride...not to mention I'm uncertain when I'll be able to get that next horse anyway.

This is just really frustrating for me. I know this shouldn't bother me because the horses I work with, the people who really know me, and I all know better than that, but it's still really frustrating. I can promise just about anyone on Earth could come across at least one horse that would inexplicably stump them, yet just because I'm younger (and also not pushy and all over the place like these women are) I'm automatically green because of it. I would never claim to be super amazing, I have a ton left to learn, but my natural ability with horses has always been highly respected. Why is that any different now? At least I was willing to admit he wasn't right for me and sold him as soon as I knew.

I'm trying to be "the better woman" here and just know that I will prove them wrong once I get my next project horse, but I've just got to let off a bit of steam, I've been having a lot of stress in my life and this is exactly what I don't need right now

But again, I'm very sorry for ranting, I guess I just need some horse-friendly ears to hear my problems because most of my friends aren't horsey and just don't get it...

Last edited by rocky pony; 12-20-2010 at 04:52 AM. Reason: more to the story
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post #2 of 5 Old 12-20-2010, 08:46 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
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Maybe start going out to the barn with your mom, talking to these people again and riding your mom's horse, or someone else's who is willing to let you. That would be annoying, but just prove to them that they are wrong.

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post #3 of 5 Old 12-20-2010, 09:32 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MD
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The problem is people tend to forget. If you want to keep up - you have to come out there more often and work/help. Ranting not gonna help much in getting the respect (although it DOES help with the better mood! )

Say if I'm a new border, and I see you once/week doing your business how in world could I know that you are good? Even if someone tells me you are, it doesn't mean it really until I see you working with the horse (and not just once).

Last edited by kitten_Val; 12-20-2010 at 12:04 PM.
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post #4 of 5 Old 12-20-2010, 10:18 AM
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Originally Posted by kitten_Val View Post
Say if I'm a new border, and I see you once/week doing your business how in would could I know that you are good? Even if someone tells me you are, it doesn't mean it really until I see you working with the horse (and not just once).
I would like to add that working with just one horse doesn't cut it to prove to people that you can handle a lot either. Most riders can get tuned into one horse. Anticipate issues and know how to work with them. Every horse is different - what works on one may not work on another.
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post #5 of 5 Old 12-20-2010, 11:40 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Detroit, Michigan
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I know this can be frustrating. Believe me. When I was your age (Did I really just say THAT?) my job WAS working other people's problem horses and horse people are funny. I'm a horse person and so I feel I can say that and get away with it.

I was just talking yesterday with the B.O. where I lease and will soon board my horse about how strange some of these people, women mostly, come off. What with jealousy and bitter words, etc.

Try hard not to let it bother you, if you can and if I was you I would put an ad up on Craigslist or in the paper looking for work with horses. As In: I'm an 18 y/o educated female looking to work out the kinks in your horse for you, for a small fee. Not EXACTLY like that, lol, but you know what I mean. And I only say that because I've noticed with alot of barns word of mouth is the biggest deciding factor in their decision of YOUR character, such as what you're going through now.
Put yourself out there, prove what you've got and just try your butt off to ignore what these people are saying. YOU know different and the moment you step in front of a problem horse HE/SHE knows different, too.

I know it sucks how they are acting, but just go about your business if you can, because you're there for the horses, NOT for the tongue waggers.

I wish you the best of luck!

He knows when you're happy
He knows when you're comfortable
He knows when you're confident
And he always knows when you have carrots.
~Author Unknown~
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