What should I say? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 6 Old 09-05-2009, 08:46 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Middle-of-Nowhere, Illinois
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What should I say?

There's kind of a unique situation at my barn. There's this mare there named Reba, and she belongs to this lady who isn't a horse person and hardly ever comes out. The reason is because Reba used to belong to the lady's daughter, but the daughter died and the lady just keeps her because she was her daughter's horse.

The lady also gave a certain someone permission to ride Reba whenever she wanted. That person happens to be one of two people in the barn that I absolutely HATE. She rides this poor mare into the ground and never puts in any effort to take care of her otherwise. She might groom her once in a blue moon. The horse is in her mid 20's and is about 50 pounds underweight. She just looks awful. She's way out of shape and the Stupid Woman still rides her hard. To make matters worse, the BO loves Stupid Woman and she's too blind to see how bad Reba looks.

I've watched it long enough and I'm sick and tired of watching the poor horse deteriorate. I really want to call the owner up and let her know what's going on. Like I said, she's not a horse person and didn't know any better when she gave Stupid Woman permission to ride her horse. I also want to ask if she would consider a free lease. That way I could take responsibility for her and Stupid Woman wouldn't be able to ride her anymore.

The problem is, I think Stupid Woman would be upset and she'd whine to the BO. Then the BO would be mad at me and I don't know how much trouble I'd be in. Things are bad out there besides this whole situation, and we're possibly changing barns if things don't improve.

I just need advice. What do I say to Reba's owner and how could I convince her to let me lease her?

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
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post #2 of 6 Old 09-05-2009, 09:16 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
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Its a very tricky situation.

I guess if it were me I would just call the woman and tell her you like the horse etc. and would really like to lease her, and you think that the horse would also benefit from a consistent rider/groom/friend bond type thing.

I wouldn't mention the other person. It won't work out well. The owner may call the BO to question her and then think that you lied when the BO doesn't back you up. Then you will have no chance of leasing and could have barn problems.
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post #3 of 6 Old 09-05-2009, 11:49 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
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be sure and tell her that you are not looking to make anyone upset, that you are just looking for a great horse to lease and that you'd be able to look out for her. Say something like "it may not be my place, I just don't think "stupid woman" is treating Reba the way she should take care of a senior horse."

as far as the BO goes, if he/she cares about horses in any sense then this shouldn't be an issue. And if it is and you are already leasing Reba, then there is really nothing they can do about it. If it really gets to be a problem ask Reba's owner if it would be ok to move her to another barn. Suggest that it would be easier to keep weight on her in at less stressful barn.

I hope this helps. Keep us updated.

Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter. It gleams in the sun and neighs in the dark
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post #4 of 6 Old 09-05-2009, 01:22 PM
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I have to agree with Saskia on this one. I wouldn't get into the whole barn drama mess. Make sure the owner understands that even though you will be buying the feed and stuff for the horse, that she still is the owner. She wants to keep the horse for sentimental reasons, so she might like the idea.
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post #5 of 6 Old 09-05-2009, 01:29 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
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I agree with Saskia too. Don't mention that you don't think this woman is treating the horse right. Just say you really like Reba and you're wondering if you could possibly free lease her.
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post #6 of 6 Old 09-06-2009, 09:23 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Middle-of-Nowhere, Illinois
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Thanks, guys.

I wouldn't be riding her because she's too small for me, but she could really use some lunging and all-around attention. Stupid Woman treats horses like wind-up toys. It's really sad. If the BO does get mad, we have another barn to go to. It's a lot father away and more expensive, but I can't take much more drama.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
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