When to Give Up - The Horse Forum
 8Likes
  • 5 Post By Luce73
  • 2 Post By Mulefeather
  • 1 Post By LittleBayMare
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 05:22 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 549
• Horses: 1
When to Give Up

I'm feeling defeated. Last May, I adopted a BLM mustang mare. She's beautiful. And has tons of potential, but the longer I have her the more I feel out-horsed. I'm soon to be 21, and have had horses since I was 5. But my confidence is shot, I'm out of practice because I'm scared to ride my horse, and I'm frustrated because I don't want to give up on her! Realistically, I have time to ride 3-4 times a week easily, yet I've only been on a handful of rides the past year.
She's come a really long way, but she is still hard to catch and nervous/shy. Once she's caught she's very well behaved. She has perfect ground manners and is very willing. I tend to take her on hikes more than anything, because I adore her on the ground. But she's very spooky and I'm struggling to decide now whether I want to send her back to training or if I should try and find a more suitable home for her.
I think at this point I would be better off with an old, trusty horse. I'm just having a hard time with this decision.

Just to add, she had 30 days with a great trainer when I first got her, and is walk/trot under saddle. I handle her often but still don't feel comfortable standing behind her. She doesn't offer to kick/bite/buck, she just is unsettled, and obviously that rubs off on me and makes me nervous.
Foxesdontwearbowties is offline  
post #2 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 05:32 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 719
• Horses: 0
Could you send her to a trainer or lease her out to someone who can put the miles on her? That way you wouldnt have to let her go completely, as you say you care about her and love her on the ground, but maybe someone more confident can enjoy her for a year or so, after which she may have settled down? In the meantime you could see about leasing an easier horse to get your confidence up, and who knows, by next year you and this mare might be a perfect match :)
Luce73 is offline  
post #3 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 06:30 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 2,664
• Horses: 1
I really feel for you because I’m facing this same situation now. I adopted a Haflinger gelding back in November who at first seemed like he’d only need a bit of work to be a great horse, but over time has started acting studdish and just this weekend reared at and struck out at someone who was trying to separate him from the mares in our herd- and he was aiming for her head. I had also realized before that incident that we did not trust one another, so it made working with him a fight every time, and the incident just clinched my thoughts that it was not going to work out. I have had one other horse that I didn’t trust, and she also wound up being dangerous. So I decided that life’s too short, I only have so much money and so much time, and I want to spend it with a horse that I can trust and that I have a good relationship with.

I think if you are nervous, she will definitely pick up on that. Mustangs especially can be very sensitive to human emotion – it makes them awesome horses, but it may be that she needs a more confident handler for a while. Have you considered taking lessons on a more trustworthy horse for a while to build up your confidence? You could lease her out to someone with a bit more confidence in terms of riding young, green horses, and it may just be that she needs that extra bit of time and consistency. If you otherwise get along with her and she’s got a great temperament otherwise, I think it’s worth working on.
Captain Evil and PoptartShop like this.
Mulefeather is offline  
post #4 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 07:50 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 499
• Horses: 2
I had to make a similar decision six months ago. I had a beautiful gelding who I had put over four years of work into, but we didn't click and, after a serious accident that was not his fault, what little trust I had for him shattered. It was me, not him, but I just couldn't relax around him anymore and he fed off of that. He now has a wonderful new forever home and a job he loves. It took me a long time to let go, way too long. The accident was two years ago. But I finally realized that I wasn't being fair to him. We were both miserable and we just weren't meant for each other. Fortunately I already had a beautiful mare who I get along fabulously with to help me pick up the pieces from that. So take heart, there is hope.

You sound like you know what you need. You also sound like you've made up your mind but just aren't ready to face it yet. It will be hard, but it's for the best. Do not hang on like I did and end up with a shattered spine. Trust me, it's not fun and I am very lucky to be walking, much less riding. The right horse is out there for you somewhere.
Acadianartist likes this.
LittleBayMare is offline  
post #5 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 08:02 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,246
• Horses: 0
If you don't feel like you're clicking, move on.
Jan1975 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW! IceDancer94 Horse Training 14 11-30-2012 09:32 PM
Which One To Give? Phantomcolt18 Horse Talk 8 06-24-2011 01:13 PM
How to give a pill to a cat? How to give a pill to a dog? TaMMa89 Jokes and Funnies 10 06-19-2010 03:13 PM
When do you give up?? WSArabians General Off Topic Discussion 9 03-26-2010 03:20 PM
Give it up? wannahorse22 Horse Articles 61 02-20-2010 08:54 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome