When To Move On... - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 12:26 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
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Originally Posted by Folly View Post
You said you can't have two horses because one would be on the back burner.... but would that be so bad for a year or so? If it's cost prohibitive I totally get that, but if doable that would let you avoid a rush decision. The young girl could continue to ride the pony (sounds like she isn't going anywhere), and maybe would actually consider the lease if they know that's the only option. Doesn't sound like you need to be concerned about finding a good buyer for a nice horse like that. Anyway, I'd have a hard time letting him go too! If/when you have children he'd be perfect for them (not sure of his age or your age for that matter! so sorry to be presumptuous :) ). But I do understand the great opportunity to have your show horse. Great dilemma, really! two terrific horses
I also considered this, but board isn't cheap, and paying for two horses would probably get costly. My FH is so generous and helps me a lot with my horse dreams, but he rarely says "no" to me, so I have to say "no" to myself in order to not become a financial burden, if that makes any sense. Spec is the perfect kids horse, it would be a dream come true it if he could teach my own (future) kids how to love horses! So no, not presumptuous at all.. We're tying the knot in a year from Friday actually.. :P That is a huge, huge reason why I am so dang opposed to parting with him!
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"Never give up for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
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post #12 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Spec View Post
I also considered this, but board isn't cheap, and paying for two horses would probably get costly. My FH is so generous and helps me a lot with my horse dreams, but he rarely says "no" to me, so I have to say "no" to myself in order to not become a financial burden, if that makes any sense.
Yes, that totally makes sense - my husband of 26 years is the same, very supportive... I just finally got a horse of my own at the age of 51! I understand having to have self control when your husband/fh is so generous :)

Anyway, I have never shown (never really rode until I was 49... thought I'd missed that boat completely but then had the opportunity and am loving it). I just trail ride and am going to possibly start some Western Dressage lessons (not to show... just to improve and have some goals to work towards, since my mare has the foundation to do it). Anyway, I finally found the perfect trail companion and so I truly understand the value and scarcity of a horse like that. Wouldn't trade mine for any amount of money... but if I were younger and enjoyed showing, the decision would definitely be a tough one. I hope you can figure out a way to 'have your cake and eat it too'.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
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I'm a mid-lifer finally making time for horses... Having a blast, but there's soooo much to learn -

Last edited by Folly; 12-07-2016 at 12:48 PM.
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post #13 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Left Hand Percherons View Post
You could lease the mare so it's a more binding arrangement. Put a purchase option down the road. Agree on a price that reflects her current level of training but have some way to reward the owner for working with you. You could also sell the pony but put a buyback clause in the agreement.
Yes, I will definitely put together a "right of first refusal" type contract, that way if they want to get rid of him, it's to me.
The mare's owners will consider a lease. However, I am positive I won't find a horse of this caliber that I can afford, so for the most part I think it'd be best just to get it over with before they decide to keep her :P
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"Never give up for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
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post #14 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Folly View Post
Yes, that totally makes sense - my husband of 26 years is the same, very supportive... I just finally got a horse of my own at the age of 51! I understand having to have self control when your husband/fh is so generous :)

Anyway, I have never shown (never really rode until I was 49... thought I'd missed that boat completely but then had the opportunity and am loving it). I just trail ride and am going to possibly start some Western Dressage lessons (not to show... just to improve and have some goals to work towards, since my mare has the foundation to do it). Anyway, I finally found the perfect trail companion and so I truly understand the value and scarcity of a horse like that. Wouldn't trade mine for any amount of money... but if I were younger and enjoyed showing, the decision would definitely be a tough one. I hope you can figure out a way to 'have your cake and eat it too'.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
That is so awesome! Definitely go for the western dressage, I've heard it is a great mental challenge for both horse and rider! I, too, would love to take a few WD lessons. And I agree, good trustworthy horses are worth their weight in gold! Same goes for guys who support their horse-crazy women!
Thanks so much!
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"Never give up for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
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post #15 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 01:11 PM
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@natisha , I had to sell my beloved pony because I was getting married. I was 19, my husband was 21--we were just starting out and didn't have the money to support a horse.

@Spec , here is a good way to make a terrible decision: You list all the reasons why you do want to do something on one side of the paper; then you list all the reasons why you want something else on the other side. THEN--here's the important part--you rank each reason. For example, "You love to show" That might be a 9 because that is really important or "They will take good care of my pony" You might rank that 8 or 7. "My pony is old" That might only be a 2, since he's not that old. Anyway, you add up all the numbers on both sides of the paper--whichever number adds up higher gives you your answer. THEN--if you are heartsick and super disappointed in your answer, it is time to re-rank your reasons. Read them over and decide if the numbers are really how you feel. It's a pretty good way to figure out something difficult.
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post #16 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 01:25 PM
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I think you ought to keep him and lease him out to someone different than the little girl. Those "good as gold" kid's ponies don't come along too often, and they're SO valuable. Plus, kids' ponies get outgrown all the time. The nice beginner level pony that is perfect today is not going to be the horse that beginner needs when they move up. I can't say I trust parents who want a little kid who will inevitably outgrow the pony to have her "own" pony just for the sake of it.

If you can't lease, can you let your BO use him for lessons and have her knock some money off your board each month?
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post #17 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by knightrider View Post
@natisha , I had to sell my beloved pony because I was getting married. I was 19, my husband was 21--we were just starting out and didn't have the money to support a horse.
That sounds odd to me. Shouldn't combining 2 separate living situations into 1 provide more resources? It always has for me.
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post #18 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Spec View Post
Thanks all, you presented some things to think about. I also had hoped a lease would work out, that would be a perfect situation for me. I offered a free lease to the parents, but they want her to be able to have "her own" pony, which I do understand.
Have you tried explaining that as a free lease, he is her "own pony" and all leasing means is that when the time comes and she outgrows him and is ready to move on, he comes back to you?
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FYI, it is spelled W-H-O-A.
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post #19 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 05:20 PM Thread Starter
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@6gun Kid Yeah I have, but since I let her ride him a lot, from their standpoint, why in the world would they want to take on vet, farrier, feed, board, etc when nothing is really gonna change? Who knows. I will press it harder and see how things go.

@Mulefeather I agree with you completely, but I do know these people pretty well. If I was unsure of their intentions, this decision would be easy and he would stay with me. I'm not a person who would put a horse--especially this particular horse--in a less than ideal situation. I've heard horror stories about lesson ponies getting sour, so I am very leery with putting him in lesson program honestly. Right now I'm leaning towards keeping him and finding some wiggle room somewhere to make everything work out.

@knightrider Great idea! Doing that right now.. It's harder than it sounds

"Never give up for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
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post #20 of 34 Old 12-07-2016, 05:40 PM
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I'm in the sell camp. You've already mentioned a "right of first refusal" clause. You say you feel a bit awkward on the 13hh pony. It will get put on a back burner if you keep it and buy the show horse. I didn't catch how old the pony is. If the pony is all you say it is, it deserves a young rider who will care for, and benefit from it. It shouldn't be sitting on your back burner, waiting on your future kids. By the time those kids are old enough, the one you sell to will have outgrown it.

Hope that helps some.
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