When to quit-tough conversation. - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 12:47 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,695
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I have an older friend. She gets free "old" horses and gives them a semi or full retirement. That way she doesn't have to worry about what happens to them when she dies as she should outlive them. In the meantime she can do light trail rides, and she is happy with that.

If you wanted to, you could give the young horse away or sell him, and keep the old guy. If the old guy gets too lame to ride or passes away, get another "older" horse.

If finances are a problem, you could always get a few mini's. At least you will still have a horse to brush and love on!

I was really sick for a few years and it was my parents who paid for my horse (and all my other bills). In some ways she was the only thing that kept me fighting- even if I only went outside for 5 minutes to give her some cookies it was still something. Not once did my parents mention selling her. I guess they realize what she means to me.
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post #12 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 01:01 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 47,704
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I don't have any advice that hasn't been said, but wanted to say that I did NOT know of your husband's illness, and your subsequent challenges, what with care and health insurance, it sounds very trying.Though I can offer no help beyond understanding what horses must mean to you, may you have some small little bit of Grace come your way and make it easier.
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post #13 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 01:18 AM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 8,877
• Horses: 12
I could be totally off base here but it almost sounds as if your husband is worried that you'll still be out enjoying life while he's stuck doing nothing because of medical disabilities.

While it's understandable that the thought of the limits he will have to face at this change in his life makes him worry, it would be very selfish of him to expect you to give up that which you enjoy as long as you are physically and financially capable of doing so.

Maybe an explanation from you to him about what they mean to you (I know, it's not so easy to make a non-horse person understand the benefits) and a little extra reassuring that your love for him is not going to end because of his health might go a long way in him accepting the time you spend with your horses.
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post #14 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 02:38 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Germany- but not German =D
Posts: 5,155
• Horses: 2
Take every day as it comes.

Be realistic to yourself, financially, about how long you can afford to keep one or both. In the long run, horses are expensive- but if you can keep, then do.

And ride as long as you can. You could always find someone to ride a couple of times a week and foot some of the bills if you need some time/financial help etc.

But 70?! That is the new middle age ;) The oldest rider I knew was 91. His horse was an old fool, and would spin and plant and this guy would just sit and laugh. People would worry for him, and he would say he is doing what he loves and enjoys. It is his time, and he will do with it as he pleases!
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post #15 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 04:01 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,838
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My husband was not a horse person either, he in fact despised them and rued the time I spent with them. As his health issues worsened and he could do less and less, I somehow got him to come to the barn with me a few times.

And then it was like the saying goes - the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.

With no financial resources, I did have to reduce to one horse and keep him at an old farm doing all the work myself. Steve formed an attachment to the old farmer's mare, and went every day without fail to see and take care of her, up until nearly his last day.



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post #16 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 07:27 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: left of center
Posts: 7,141
• Horses: 2
I appreciate all of the support from my HF friends, and will, for sure, take one day at a time. He knows, only too well, how I feel about my horses. He loves them as he would any animal, but unfortunately is extremely allergic, to the point of hospitalization if he goes to the barn. I really WISH he could ride and enjoy them-in fact, his MD suggested it at one point as therapy, and, as it happens-my old guy IS a therapy horse, and one that could do the job, since he is a draft cross. I don't think he is worried about me off having fun without him-after 35 years, he knows I will be right there with him, and since I am a nurse-will be his caregiver. He has great attitude, and that is what will help us get through. I also know I have wonderful family and friends-many with horses I can always love on if need be, but not quite the same, altho it may have to suffice at some point in the future.
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post #17 of 17 Old 09-10-2013, 04:42 PM
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,200
• Horses: 2
I, too, am of the mind that I would keep the horses as long as finances and time allow. You will need the mental break they can offer while you go through the physical, emotional, and financial hardships of caring for your DH. Long term plans don't have to be set in stone now, you can revisit them whenever needed.

Wishing you peace and clarity as you move forward with these challenges.
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