He threw himself back ward, danced around and his eyes were wide and he was breathing hard. She told me to just let him throw his fit. Then she pulled him back (didnt tie him), tightened him some more, let him do his dance again,
I very much disagree with your trainer's attitude/actions/advice. It's the kind of old fashion 'buck 'em out & break 'em' style of 'training'. Just do it, force it, regardless of the horse's feelings, until they quit fighting, can indeed work to teach a horse to 'put up & shut up' - and many horses are still trained in the manner of 'learned helplessness'. I don't like it personally though.
If you want to do it this way, for him to learn to stop fighting, you need to keep up the scary or hurtful thing until the horse actually gives up & settles fully, rather than just doing a bit & quitting while he's fighting - that will only cause him to keep thinking fighting it is the best course of action(not that a horse reacting
in fear is really thinking
anyway). Breaking a horse to something he's afraid of doesn't get him over the fear, just teaches him there's no point fighting it.
What I'd do is first & foremost, establish whether there is any pain/discomfort from the saddle, girth, ulcers, whatever, and ensure I eliminated that first.
Then, if it's 'just' training/fear, I'd introduce it in such a way as to minimise that fear & definitely stop well short of panic, if I could possibly help it. So if the horse was not happy with having the saddle on his back, I'd gradually get him *comfortable* with that first. If he wasn't comfortable with having things around his girth, I'd start with ropes & get him used to that, then get him comfortable with being *touched* with a saddle girth before doing it up. Then I'd ensure he was happy with it just going thru the buckle loosely, before getting him happy with it being tightened.
I treat him after saddling for positive reinforcement and sometimes rub his nose with EQ
Don't know what EO is, but horses learn from *instant*
association, so if you're intending to use positive reinforcement(I do & think it's really valuable), you need to reward him *during* saddling, not after. And, remembering the learning by association, careful not to associate those treats with him stressing - being tense, holding his breath, etc, even if it's not big reactions.