My Home Training Method - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 29 Old 03-25-2010, 10:24 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Western Pa
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Personally, I'd lose the music too... I tend to have multiple pages open at one time and when I hear music on any of them, I close it immediately and never go back to it....

"Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious."
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post #12 of 29 Old 03-25-2010, 10:28 PM
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Agreed. It is irritating to hear the whole time I am on the site and unprofessional.

Ω Horses are a projection of peoples dreams Ω
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post #13 of 29 Old 03-27-2010, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Texas
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Okay guys thanks soooo much. I have fixed the website, and im not gonna lie i definately stole some of ur ideas. That really helps!
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post #14 of 29 Old 03-28-2010, 05:45 AM
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Location: Greenville area / SC
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I don't see a single difference aside from losing the music and your price list.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


It's not always what you say but what they hear.

Last edited by iridehorses; 03-28-2010 at 05:49 AM.
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post #15 of 29 Old 03-29-2010, 06:41 PM
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iridehorses: she did most of the grammar edits that I showed her... but


YOU NEED TO FIX THE PICTURES!
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post #16 of 29 Old 03-29-2010, 06:55 PM Thread Starter
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the pictures will be fixed, but not until our photographer can get out here and take some lol
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post #17 of 29 Old 03-29-2010, 08:07 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SE-Wisconsin
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Well, if you need website ideas, check out my site.....

Welcome to SE-Wisconsin Horse Care! - SeWHC--- Quality, Affordable Farm Care, Horse Training, Lessons. I haven't updated it recently, but I've put hours of work into it when I was farm sitting/teaching/training full time. Please don't copy it word for word. Just an example.
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post #18 of 29 Old 03-30-2010, 06:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexischristina View Post
iridehorses: she did most of the grammar edits that I showed her... but
Where? Her very first sentence is a run-on sentence where she uses "I" several times and the word "and" twice. Her next sentence starts with "And". In the second sentence she uses the phrase "other children" without referring to the first child she taught ... unless she means herself - and that would still be incorrect.

That is just to get started.

Try this:

Quote:
My idea for Whiskey River Home Training came when I fell off my first horse. I was scared to death. I had no one in my family who could help me, and no money to hire a trainer. Regardless, I got back on and eventually taught myself. Now I want the joy of teaching children and adults to trust and enjoy their horse.
What I did was to correct the sentence structure but the whole approach is wrong. The entire premise is that she is 15 or 16, self taught, has no one to point to but herself as a success, and even then, a prospective client has no idea if she can ride - only that she has learned to stay on. She doesn't point to any training method. If her idea is that she developed the method herself, then she needs to explain it.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


It's not always what you say but what they hear.

Last edited by iridehorses; 03-30-2010 at 06:42 AM.
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post #19 of 29 Old 03-30-2010, 07:21 PM
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We could go over all her grammar all day long, and it will never be perfect. Personally, I still think what you posted sounds awkward as heck (too many fragments and awkward full stops), she used some of what I offered, which was better than she had.

To the op:
Personally, I think it's GREAT that you want to start your own business, but from what I've seen I do believe you're putting yourself and other people's animals in dangerous situations, if you really are lacking ANY training. Before you consider this, perhaps try to get some training through working with others, or just watching...
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post #20 of 29 Old 03-30-2010, 08:09 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexischristina View Post
To the op:
Personally, I think it's GREAT that you want to start your own business, but from what I've seen I do believe you're putting yourself and other people's animals in dangerous situations, if you really are lacking ANY training. Before you consider this, perhaps try to get some training through working with others, or just watching...
In dangerous situations? may i ask what the heck these "situations" are?
and hun i do have tons of experience. I started riding at age 4, and took lessons up until now. and now i help with lessons at a local WELL KNOWN boarding and training stable. Live Oak. id really love to know what these dangerous situations are? please tell me!
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