Hoofbeats Towards Happiness - Page 6 - The Horse Forum
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post #51 of 63 Old 04-01-2018, 03:51 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Texas
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@Spanish Rider Yes, that sign says "Barrels, Bulldogging and Roping for Boobies," it's a breast cancer awareness show they did where I live. Cash prizes, points and everything.

I called about another horse DH heard about. He gets to talk to more people, so naturally has more connections than I do. This one seemed rather nice just from what we'd heard thru the grapevine, so I figured let me suck it up and at least give them a call. Easy right? Hahaha, no not at all. It took me about 3 hours of pacing, taking anxiety meds, practicing what to say over and over, dialing the phone about 50 times but cutting it off before it could ring. . . Oh I was a mess, no lie. It paid off though, kind of. I thought.

The lady was rather nice, seemed friendly. I told her right off the beginning that I was terrified of people and I apologized if the conversation was awkward, she just sort of flowed with it. The paint gelding seemed nice on the phone too. An older gelding, about 14.3h, recent farrier and shots, last year for teeth. She said he was an ex lesson horse but they just had him around for the grandkids for the last few years. About 20 minutes of conversation later, we decided to have me come out and look at him this weekend.

So, the weekend was here, DH and I get in the car and drive for an hour. We find the address, and pull up. . . To a driveway FULL of people. Somehow in our busy schedules we both had forgotten today is Easter. I'm petrified, shaking, glued to my seat, can't move let alone think. I think I remember DH saying "I think I see the horse over there giving rides to kids." He got out of the car for a few minutes while I'm scrambling for my bottles of meds. Suddenly my nice weekend of "let's go see a horse for sale" has turned into a movie type nightmare.

I'm not really sure what all happened, just that we made it home, and I napped for a few hours. Now a little bit later, after talking to DH he explained that he had talked to the lady and she had changed her mind on selling the horse after the grandkids were there and begging her to keep him. I'm wondering why she didn't just call and say for us not to come out then?? Is she maybe going to change her mind again next week after Easter is over and she is still caring for this horse they decided they didn't want? Not my problem I guess.

So horse phone call inquiry and visit #1 was just bad. I didn't even actually see the horse! Both could have gone better. I'm not sure how to feel about this to be honest, not yet anyways. I do hope that everyone is having a lovely holiday though, so have fun and stay safe everyone!! Happy Easter.

finding happy
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post #52 of 63 Old 04-01-2018, 04:10 PM
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Join Date: May 2014
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@findinghappy , so sorry you had to go through that "episode".

I don't know about Texas, but here, in early spring when the weather starts getting nice, everyone starts thinking "nice weather for a ride". Perhaps that is the case with the seller and grandchildren. Then, interest in riding slacks off in the hot mid-summer, to pick up once again late August/early September for the nice fall weather. When the rain starts and temps drop in late fall, people lose interest in riding and suddenly more horses are up for sale. Maintaining a horse you are not riding on a regular basis can get expensive. Human nature is funny that way.

Don't lose faith. Somewhere, someplace, there is a horse for you! But it may take time.
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post #53 of 63 Old 04-01-2018, 05:03 PM
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It may have taken meds, practice and felt like a nightmare but I’d see it as a big step forward. The first step of many, perhaps?

It was unfortunate that the horse was taken off the market, especially when you’d travelled so far.

I’m hunting for one as well. Similar to you I’m looking for something quiet for hacking out rather than competitions.

Over here, we get a lot of horses for sale at the start of winter and now that the good weather’s coming in, the numbers fall.

We also get ‘no time wasters’ added to many adverts. If you phone to enquire, then you are expected to buy and that’s put me off going to see some horses that looked like a good fit. A photo of a horse does not tell me what it’s like in real life.

I’d seen a wonderful dun mare but, after a great talk with her owner, she said that she’d had enough of timewasters and she’d be happy to have me visit. Well, it had the opposite effect on me and I said that I couldn’t guarantee that I’d buy and wouldn’t be coming.


Everything will come together at the right time.
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post #54 of 63 Old 04-01-2018, 05:04 PM
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So sorry you had to go through that nightmare. I imagine the lady got wrapped up in the family visit and forgot all about the horse sale. So not fair to you. I hope the next one is much less traumatic.

I also once drove 2 hours to see a horse, helping someone out who was interested in it. Got lost, couldn't find the place, called for better directions, and was told, "Oh, sorry, changed my mind, not selling the horse after all."

Hope things go better for you with the next one. Here's a suggestion: have someone you trust who loves horses go check out the horse before you even make the first phone call. If they say it looks good, then you go look. I've gone with a lot of people horse shopping, and there are a LOT of wasted trips--people misrepresenting horses, horses not even there, sellers not showing up, horse already got sold, and all kinds of miscommunications. No need to put yourself through that misery since it is so difficult for you. For me it is, shrug, oh well. For you, very different.
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post #55 of 63 Old 04-01-2018, 10:18 PM Thread Starter
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I agree! This buying a horse stuff is not for the faint of heart!!
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post #56 of 63 Old 04-02-2018, 01:44 AM
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Hi there! Just stumbled on this thread.
I suffer from depression and major anxiety with a touch of autism thrown in there for fun. Your battle with your mental health sounds awful but in reading through your posts all I can see is improvement! I totally understand how hard it is to talk to a stranger on the phone, let alone face to face. The very fact that you are taking these steps in order to reach your ultimate goal - horses - is awe inspiring.
In my own experience I have really just had to bite the bullet and get on with it. I WANT to ride. I WANT to compete. I WANT to own horses. So my social anxiety just has to take a back seat until I get home and then I can have a melt down. Social interaction is HARD and people can be so stupid and LOUD. The noise is horrible. Someone simply speaking to me sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to run to the hills.

What I'm trying to say it, it's hard. It's so so hard. But it is so so worth it. Horses make everything worth it. They can also make everything harder than it needs to be but the rewards are great.
Buying a horse is also a battle so good luck and well done on taking your first step! Sounds like you have an amazing husband who loves you so much. You are very lucky for that. Everything else will fall in place.
I can't wait to see how you get on :)

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post #57 of 63 Old 05-01-2018, 05:59 PM
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@findinghappy , just wondering how things are going for you...
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post #58 of 63 Old 03-21-2019, 01:34 PM Thread Starter
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So, it's been almost a year, but I'm back on the forums again, and a lot has happened!!

Late last summer I decided it was time to make a huge change for myself and I got a new mental health doctor. With this new doctor, came a new medication regime. Oh boy, was I all over the place as I waited for the new meds to get me stabilized!! I'm happy to say now though, that I'm doing much better with my disabilities. People are still scary in person - just not so much.

Also, DH almost got a transfer so we got all packed up and ready to move, which made me very sad, until it was cancelled at the last second. I'm so happy we will be staying here. Even if we moved I'd still be getting a horse, but there is just something so peaceful and serene about this community we live in.

As for having my own horse, I am still looking for "the one." There are many for sale in Texas, but I haven't found the one that just clicks or meets all of the check marks yet. Yet. I will find him/her! In the mean time, I'm looking into maybe working at a local barn this summer, which would be HUGE for me!! Lots of horses (yay!) and scary people haha!

I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying their Spring! I have a lot of reading and forum catching up to do. . .
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post #59 of 63 Old 03-21-2019, 02:45 PM
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Hello fellow Texan :) It's good to see you back and that you haven't given up your search. I'm constantly window shopping too. I haven't owned my own horse for many years, but instead have leased horses for the last 4 years or so. But currently without a ride.

Have you thought about Equine Assisted Therapy? One of the barns I rode at a few years ago is now a therapy only barn and doesn't give lessons anymore. But, they started the therapy when I was still riding there so I saw it happening quite often. There are usually two people there with you, the therapist and a horse helper. But, since it's therapy related, you aren't in large groups. The way it worked at that barn was that they had an arena and three round pens. There could be 4 therapy sessions going on at once (although rarely more than two) but everyone kept to themselves and did their own thing. If you could find something like that in your area it might help to be able to be at a barn with some people around, but not necessarily interacting with each other. Usually it's all very peaceful. This barn has quite a few horses and each individual comes in and gets to walk around the horses and see which one they connect to. That's the horse they get to work with. This is usually for every type of therapy, PTSD, physical therapy, troubled teens, women's empowerment sessions, etc... they even offer couples therapy and work related teamwork building sessions. I'm not sure if insurance companies have realized yet what a good thing equine therapy is, but you could always research to see if your insurance would cover some of it.

And when that was a lesson barn and I was riding there I was - on more than one occasion - told that the horse I was riding could be for sale if I was interested ;) Maybe the perfect horse is out there helping others until you come along.

Anyway, just a thought. Good luck with your search! And remember that although the perfect horse hasn't come along yet, it will, and each time you call on one or go see one, it's a step in the right direction.
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post #60 of 63 Old 03-21-2019, 04:57 PM Thread Starter
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Hi @Kriva !

That horse assisted therapy sounds wonderful!! I am a firm believer that horses can and do help people with disabilities, especially mental ones, in so many ways!! I'm not sure if they would have anything like that in my area, but I'm going to go and check up on it. The problem is any more than 3 people and I lose my mind with anxiety, but even so, maybe they could accommodate.

As it is, I'm making progress here at home with saying hi to my neighbors every so often, when I'm out walking and I see them feeding their horse. I do still need to meet the local vet and farrier that come out, but though I've seen them, I haven't had the courage to introduce myself yet.

Anyways, I'll look into that therapy, thank you again for the idea!!
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