Originally Posted by LydiaAndJustice View Post
Yes I have been logging in as I have been pming people. I cannot change things with riding at the rescue because I am not saying goodbye to Justice. I have been riding with the same group of 12 girls my age for years and they are easily considered my "barn family" and I am not saying goodbye to them. I do not want to change everything in my life that has been amazing because of one trainer. I know its hard to understand from the other side of the screen, but the horses and people I have been with mean the world to me. And what do I say to my friends at the barn when they ask why I'm gone? "Oh its because I don't think the trainer knows what shes doing". AGAIN she is my personal friend outside of riding and I'm 100% sure it would get around to her if I said anything negative. You guys usually only hear the bad sides about my trainer, but she has been there for me since I wanted to start riding. Encouraging me and supporting me along the way. Does that make sense?
I understand what you mean. We only see glimpses of your situation based on what you tell us, and we don't know the full picture, so of course advice we give may not be absolutely right or appropriate. However, I think certain things that you did mention allowed us to read between the lines, because some of us have lived through something similar, and we recognized patterns/situations. So naturally, we want others to be spared what we maybe lived through.
Although it may be hard to hear or see, our trainer sounds like an amazing friend, but not a great riding coach. And it's easy to mix the 2. I did, and I loved my previous barn family (from the people, to the horses and barn cats). Until things went really wrong and I realized that although I loved my trainer as a friend, she wasn't good for me. So I left, hoping to find someone who could get me to where I wanted. But that took me a while to realize, and longer still to have the courage to leave. I should and could have left earlier, but I didn't, since I wasn't mentally ready. And that's ok, it made me learn other things along the way.
It's your decision what you do and where you ride, but I think what most of us want/hope is that you stay at least aware of what you are dealing with, and can act accordingly to make the most of the situation and/or protect yourself.
I enjoyed your journal, and if you do stop posting, happy riding!